There are things that happen in your life that you take with stride, dust yourself off, and go on about life. The normal typical things in life that everyone goes through, and we all overcome them. They consume your daily thoughts for a short period of time, then all those thoughts are replaced with others, as if nothing ever happened. You may hurt, become sad, and then you get angry, when the anger fades you grasp hold of everything in your life, moving on to wait for the next thing to happen. Going through the motions, just like everyone else in the world.

Then there are the things in life that happen to the ones we love, and care about. The people in your life that you brought into this world, and helped make them who they are today. Those are the things in life that plaques the mind, like an avalanche ripping away at any other train of thought.  The things that grab a hold of the heartstrings, twisting them, like a tornado in thousands of directions. They grind on your soul so much that it is draining you of every bit of energy in your body. A roller coaster of emotions that are so overwhelming you can’t stop, or control them.

You hear the hurt in their voices; you see it in their eyes, and on their faces. You feel their pain more than you do your own pain. They are a part of you; they are your life, your existence. You know them better than you know the back of your own hand. You see the signs, signals, red flags, because you have been in their shoes before. You know because you can read between the lines, and see the pattern taking place. Even if you haven’t been in their shoes they are still so much a part of you that their hurt become your own, even if it is just a broken arm, or a skinned up knee.

There isn’t anything you can do; they have to help themselves. All you can do is sit, waiting, wondering, worrying, pray for the best, and to be there for them. You know from your own experiences that there isn’t anything anyone can do, but to just be there. Talking to anyone is out of the question, because you promised you wouldn’t tell anyone. Promises are not meant to be broken they are supposed to be as good as gold. So you keep holding everything inside until you feel like you could just explode.

You keep going on with life like there isn’t anything wrong, smiling, being happy. Then when you see them again, and you have to hug, and kiss them good-bye. Knowing deep in your heart that one day the, “I love you”, and the “Good Bye”, could possible be the last. After they go home all these emotions you have bottled up, and kept under wrap come flooding back ripping away, and consuming everything else in your life.

You feel so much pain, and hurt that you can barely make it in the door. You shut the door as you hit floor when your legs give out on you. The tears come rushing out, like flash floods gouges out it's outer banks. Screaming inside because there is no one to hear. Talking to the walls, because you know they won’t say a word to anyone about what is happening. Every muscle in your entire body aches, and tenses, you can’t move. Every breath you take, becomes a task of defeat. Curling but in your arms, legs, like a fetus in a womb. You lay there trying to holding on to every ounce of energy as it is drained from your body. Praying that it will all go away, and everything will be good again.


There is nothing anyone else could possibly do to ease your pain, but to hold you, and not saying a word. There isn’t anything anyone could say to make it all go away. You can not possibly make anyone, friend, or stranger understand the overwhelming heartache you are feeling. There isn’t any escape, no where to go, no release to make things better. You know that every time you tell them, “I love you” and “Good Bye” the roller coaster of emotions you are feeling right now are going to come rushing back, taking over you once again.

Suddenly the picture of your own parent’s faces cross your mind, you now feel the pain, suffering, and heartache, you yourself put your own parents through. Realizing that every gray hair, and wrinkle on them, you are accountable for, because of the choices you made in life. The hurt, and pain increases as you realize that you can’t make up for all those times that you caused them so much pain. Knowing that they would not expect anything to make up for that pain, because they are happy that you are still alive, and with them. They can tell you, “I love you” and “Good bye” now without any pain, and heartache.

You know it isn’t going to go away, it won’t get better, not until it ends.
You pray that one-day things will be okay, that you won’t have to sit by the phone, waiting, worrying. You pray that they will be okay, and they will be happy.

 You can’t mend their broken wings, and make them fly away to be free, and happy again.