I was 22 years old, when my mother decided to leave my father. She waited until he was out of town, for a week, and decided she was leaving him. I begged, and pleaded with her not to do it, I knew she was thinking harshly, and would regret her decisions later. I had just gone through a horrible divorce, and I knew I could not take care of her on my own, without my dad, and take care of two babies. Both of my brothers were living out of town, so it was up to me to pack up everything, and move it all.

This didn’t make my dad happy one bit to come home to a totally empty house, after taking care of, and loving my mother for 26 years. He gave her everything she asked for, which most of the time was too much, he made sure she never had to work, and could stay home to raise the three of us kids. Why she was leaving, I had no clue, I think her mental illness just got the best of her, one reason that I knew I couldn’t care for her alone. He wasn’t abusive, she was the abusive one, and I still don’t know  why he stayed all those years. It most have been the love that he had for her.

A month later I had ended up in the hospital for two weeks, because of kidney problems, which put me into financial problems. My mother told me that she had called my dad, and asked him, if he would help me out. She told me that my dad said, he never wanted to see me again, and that he didn’t have a daughter, or two granddaughters. I was hurt, very devastated, heartbroken, I couldn’t understand why my dad would say such a thing, and not want to ever see me, or talk to me again.

My dad was my hero growing up, he was the one who done all the hugging, kissing, and said all the “I love you”, and “I am proud of you.” I was daddy’s girl, everywhere he was I was. He had me fishing before I could walk, had me using a hammer before I was in kindergarten, we done everything together, from remodeling houses to working on cars. My dad was the one who stayed up late at night, waiting for me to get home, to talk about everything that happened that night.

I remember when I was three years old, I had gotten a new pair of red snow boots, I stood on the back porch and cried because I wanted to play in the snow, but I didn’t want to get my new boots wet. My daddy carried me around the yard, and kneeled down so he would be close to the ground so I could play in the snow. How could the one man who was never supposed to let me down, leave me behind, and never talk to me again.

How could he also disown his own granddaughters, which he helped during the pregnancies and the taking to the hospital? He adored those girls, and he had them with him, everywhere he was, when he was home. He gained more weight than I did, during the pregnancies. After the birth of my second daughter, the two of us joined a gym, to get back in shape. I never laughed so hard at my dad, than I did the time we both were doing aerobics. Talk about hilarious, I was so happy, that he wanted to be in the back of the room, because I could have pee my pants from laughing at him so hard.

I was so devastated, and lost without him in my life, I lost myself along the way somewhere, at some point in time. I had gotten into drugs, and drinking, just to wash away the pain, and hurt that I was feeling. With in two years I had became a single divorced mother of two babies, my mother’s soul care giver, and disowned by my daddy. How could I go from being, a spoiled daddy’s girl for 22years, too not having a daddy at all? I tried so hard to hide the hurt I was feeling so deep inside, I washed it away, and covered it up with all the alcohol and drugs. I lost a huge part of myself, and came close to losing my life, my girls, and everything I had. I was keeping everyone at a distance, hiding from the world.

After four years and my close call of losing everything, My Aunt Claire talked me into moving out of state, and staying with her, to get life back together again (that is a whole new post). So the girls and I moved, and we stayed with her for a few months. I quit drinking, drugs, and even cigarette cold turkey. It was not a fun thing to do, because the DTs were horrible, but I made it through it all.

We had started going to church with my aunt, and I had met a few new really great friends. One of the ladies at the church started doing bible studying with me; she came over to my aunt’s house on Thursday afternoons. My girls were at pre-school, my aunt’s kids were at school, and my aunt was at work, so we had the house to ourselves so we wouldn’t be interrupted. One day we were sitting talking getting ready to do our study, we had always started it off with a prayer.

Linda asked me, “ If you could ask God for anything in the world to do for you. What would you ask for and why?”

Without even thinking about the answer to the question, I told her, “I would ask Him, to bring my daddy back into my life, because I miss him so much. He was my everything growing up, and I feel lost without him.”

I told her the story about everything that had happened and why I hadn’t talked to my daddy for five long hard years. Tears begin to come to my eyes, she gave me a huge hug, then we prayed, and went on to the bible study.

We were in the middle of the study when the phone rang. I told Linda, “I had better get that, it might be for Aunt Claire or one of her girls. I will be right back.”

I picked up the receiver and said, “Hello”.
A man’s voice came over the other end saying, “Hello! Baby is that you?”
My body started to shake, I was cover with Goosebumps, and I could hardly say a word. I then took a deep breath, and said, with a cracking voice, “Yes! Daddy it is me.”
Then the tears started flowing, like a ragging flood. I looked at Linda, and said, “God just answered my prayer, it is my daddy.”
My dad and I talked on the phone for a few minutes, then he had to go back to work.
He told me, “I have missed you, and I love you. Good-bye. I will call you later.”
We said our good-byes and got off the phone.

After this my dad and I got together, several times to see each other, and for him to see the girls. The three of us went down to his house, and stayed the weekend a few times. We were working things out and trying to make up for the entire long lost days, of the last five years. Of course my mother hated the fact that I was talking to him again, she thought it was a total betrayal on my part. That was okay, because she was already pissed at me, and not talking to me, because I had moved away from her.

I told my dad what my mother had told me, about him not wanting to speak to me, or see me again. He told me, that he didn’t say anything like that, and that my mother had told him, that I said I didn’t want to see him ever again. He said it broke his heart that his daddy’s girl would not want to talk to him. How could someone play such a cruel, horrible game on two people’s hearts and lives like that? I was so angry with my mother, for the hurt she had caused my dad, and myself. How could I forgive her for hurting me like no one has ever hurt me before, but I did find away to forgive her for all that.

The last twenty years, my dad and I have made sure that we spend as much time together as possible. Last year when I was living with him, we used to wake up early, have coffee and hot tea in the garage or back deck. Just talking about everything, and sometimes nothing at all. I think we both enjoyed that time together by ourselves. When I moved out he would call me at 5am to see what I was doing. I would laugh at him and tell him, sitting on the front porch, having hot tea, smoking and wondering what you are doing.

He has been there through so much for my girls, and myself. I don’t know what I would have done without him in my life the last 20 years. He always was my hero, and will be forever.