Thanks Giving 1993 I was working at sports bar bartending that night, I was 26 weighed 105lb. I had long blonde hair down to my waist, which was always curly, and up in a ponytail most of the time. The waitress had called in sick so I had to bartend and waitress at the same time, which made for a very busy night. As I was running around, like a chicken with their head cut off.

I walked past the pool table in the front part of the bar, when I felt someone tap me on the shoulder and said, “Miss”.

I turned around to see a tall nice looking man, with blonde curly hair hanging out the sides, and back of his ball cap, looking up at him, into his deep brown eyes.

A smile came across his face as he said, “Miss I have to tell you that your hair is so beautiful. I have never seen hair so beautiful on a woman before. You are beautiful."

I was blushing by now; I smiled, and told him, “Yeah right! Whatever! You probably say that to all the girls. Does that line work for you?”

He laughed, and said, “Little sassy are we? And to answer your question, no I don’t say that to all the girls, just you. I just moved here from California, the place where all the pretty girls live. I have never met someone as beautiful as you.”

I laughed again, while telling him; “I thank you so much for compliment. I have to get back to work I am really busy tonight.”



Later I was standing at the table next to his, where the other bartender, Sheila (we will call her) when he tried to talk to me again.  

I told him, “Sir I am flattered by your compliments, and your jesters to try to get my attention. But I am married, so your attempts are just wasted on me. Go find someone that is available.”

Then turned and I grab the empty glasses off the table, and headed to the bar.

When I heard him say in the background, “ Your husband is a lucky man. I don’t care if you are married. You are still beautiful.”

I turned to look at him and I said, “Thank you.”



While I was at the bar filling drinks, Sheila was talking to Ken (we call him), she informed him that my marriage was a very violent, and that I needed to get out. She went as far as tell him that I had left several times only be found, and forcefully drugged back home. She told him to keep trying that maybe I would wake up, and leave the bastard for a good man.

I found all this out when she came to the bar, and drug me to the back room. I was so pissed off at her for telling a complete stranger about my life.

 “How could you do this to me?” I yelled at her.


She just smiled, and laughed, as she gave me a hug, turned walked out of the back room, and headed back to her table. After this wonderful conversation with Sheila, in the back room, I was frustrated and still very busy.


Then Ken came up to me, and handed me a folded piece of paper, and said, “I am leaving now. Your friend told me about your situation. This is my phone number call me, if you need anything, or a place to hide out. I will be there for you.”

I took the piece of paper, while placing it in my pocket, I told him, “Thank you very much I will keep it safe.”

I watched him walk out the door, turning at the end of the walk to look back at me, with a smile on his face.


Sheila of course jumped all over this, and kept on me every night we worked together, about him. Ken would stop in the bar for a couple beers, a few times during the following days, sitting at the bar so he could get a better chance of conversation with me. Some nights, he would bring in a rose, and lay it on the bar. Every night, he would play one song on the jukebox, and tell me it was for me, “I can love you like that” By John Michael Montgomery.


One day I had gotten out of class early, and had a few minutes to burn, before I had to be home. That day the thought of Ken, and picture of his face, I could not get off my mind. I stopped at gas station, sitting in my car, debating whether, or not to call him.  I put the change in the phone, and dialed the number.

Ken answered the phone said, “Hello”.

I took a deep breath, almost hanging up before, I said, “Hello”.


We talked on the phone for about 20 minutes, and then I told him I had to go. He asked me to call again he would be waiting. I went home, and got ready to go to work for that night. My husband Dick (we will call him. Hey the name fits), dropped me off at work, because he had things to do. That night, Ken didn’t come in the bar, which was okay, because I was scared to let it go any farther then it had already, more like terrified.


The night very busy so time went by fast. We were closing up everything, when Sheila looked out the window, and asked me where was my ride. I looked out the window also, and Dick was not out there to pick me up. I waited inside the bar with my boss Larry (we call him), for an hour waiting for my ride. When Dick never showed, Larry gave me a ride home, which was very nice of him, since I lived about 30 minutes from town.


Dick showed up drunk, and trashed on drugs, with my girls about 3:30am.  I was sitting in the living room watching TV, when I heard them come inside, I stayed where I was.  After the girls kissed, and hugged good night, he yelled at them to go upstairs to bed, the sound, and tone of his voice sent chills down my spine.

Dick crossed the room quickly, while he yelled, “Where the Fuck have you been? I have been sitting out there waiting for you to get off work.”

I said, “You never showed up so Larry gave me ride home.”


About this time, he is standing in front of me, as he grabbed me by the armpits, picked me up out of the chair, threw me across the room. My body slammed hard against the mirrored wall, shattering the mirror, into pieces all over the room, and small pieces went into my back. I slid down the wall as I tried to shake off unbearable pain.


He walked over to where I was now sitting on the floor, he grabs me by the hair, and hits me in the head with a lamp while he kicks me in the side, and I was knocked dizzy, but not knocked out.


He yelled at me, “I am done with you now Bitch. Clean yourself up, and come to bed. Next time wait for me to pick you up at work.”  


I slowly got up, and headed to the bathroom, to clean up my wounds. Then I went back to the living room, to clean up the mess that was made. When I finished I had this attitude, that would not go away. You know one of those times, when you just can’t shake it off, and go on to the next moment.

I quietly went up the stairs into the hallway, looking into the bedroom, where my husband was sleeping soundly. Many thoughts running through my mind; I can’t go in there, I can’t lay down beside him, I can’t stay here anymore, I have to get out. That last thought rushed so fast in my mind, I don't think I even had time to rationalize, I had to put it into action, I had to run, this might be my only chance.


I walked quietly, so not make a sound into the girls’ room; I grab a change of clothes for them both, and placed them in their backpacks, along with a doll for each one.

I whispered, to them to wake up. They opened their eyes, and asked me “Mommy what are we doing?”

I told them,  “Hush girls. Quietly go down stairs to the back door, I will be down in a second. Don’t stop, don’t make a sound just go now.”


They got up out bed; I handed them their coats, as they headed out of their bedroom. I then walked quietly into the master bedroom; sure not make a sound that would wake him. I grabbed my purse, the keys off the dresser, and headed silently down the hallway, to the stairs.


When I got to the back door, I motion for the girls to head to the car. Out at the car, I put girls in the back seat, with their bags, and quietly push the door shut. I knew that if I started the car in the driveway he might wake up, to the sound of the engine, it was a chance I couldn’t take. The car was a stick shift, so I pushed it backward towards the road, then once I had it in the road I started it up, and took off.


Sitting in the office at the shelter, looking around the place, and looking at my girls. What have I done? How could I make them stay here? What other choice did I have? We would stay one night, I told myself, and then I would find somewhere else to stay, because it was too late to wake up family or friends. The lady came back to the desk, she asked me if I had anyone I could call, and place we could stay, because the shelter was full, and they had no room for us.


Oh My God! What will I do now? We head back to the car. After driving around for a little while, the girls had fallen asleep. They needed a warm place for them to sleep.  I didn’t have enough gas in my car to keep it running, and no money for even a hotel room. I made a mental note to go to the bank first thing in the morning. I started to cry at the fact that we had no where to go.


But I did have one person I could call. I start questioning myself, Should I call him? What would I say? I drove around until I found a pay phone that I could talk on from the car, I didn’t want to leave the girls in the car alone, and I had to keep the car running, to keep them warm, it was cold that night. I dial the number, and he answered the phone kind of sounding sleepy. He asked what was up; I told him we needed place to stay the night. He told me to come on over, and gave me directions. I headed to his house, with many thoughts going through my head. I should go home, Dick won’t wake up he will never know we left.  I shouldn’t go to this guy’s house; I have two little girls with me, what would people think of me?



Ken opens the door, with a smile on his face, as he looks down at the two little girls, huddling beside me to keep warm.

I sit them on the couch, and told them “Stay here for a minute, I will be right back”.


I followed Ken into a back bedroom, there were toys every where, he laughs at the sight, and said, “They are my little girl’s toys, this is her room when she comes over. Your girls can sleep here, and play with the toys when they wake up.”


We started to make the bed, and while we talked about his girl, and mine, they weren’t that far apart, mine were 8 and 9, and his was 7. He said, my girls looked younger then that, probably because they were so small their ages.


I laid the girls down to bed, and kiss them good night, while I told them, “It will all be okay. Sweet dreams.”



I went back out in the living room, and found Ken sitting on the couch; he panted on the couch, for me to sit next to him. He looked at my blood stained hair, clothes, and back to me, and asked what happened. I told him the whole story. He got up, and went into the other room, and came back with bandages, and medicine to fit up my cuts.  

After he was done with my back, he puts his arms around me, held from behind tightly, and whispered; “You deserve better then this.”


The next day I called my friend, who was also my babysitter. She told me, that Dick has already been by her house, that he is looking for me, and tells me that I should not bring the girls by for her to baby sit. Oh My God, what am I going to do now?  I have to be at work. I called everyone, and no one wanted to be involved in the whole thing. When Ken came home from work, I had just gotten off the phone to my last call, my last hope for a sitter, almost in complete tears.


He sat down at the table next to me, and asked what was going on. I told him about the sitter problem. To him there was no problem; he would watch them while I worked. He would drop me off at work, hang out with the girls, and then pick me back up. Okay, I decide to trust him, to baby sit the girls while I am at work.


Work was very busy that night, Friday nights were always busy. We all were going none stop all night long. I was at the bar, and had turned around to serve someone, when I looked Dick right in the face, eye to eye.  With my hands shook while, I served the person the beer, took their money, and started to back up.

When Sheila yelled, “Don’t let him get your hair.”


At that very second, Dick jumped forward, taught my hair, and drugged me over the bar, and started to beat me. The men in the bar got him off of me, Larry, and two other guys walked Dick out the door.



Back at Ken’s house, I put the girls back to bed. Ken and I sat, and talked about what happened that night at work. I lie in his arms, on the couch, and cried and wishing this whole nightmare was over. It terrified me that we would never be safe again, and the fact that Dick was not going to stop until found me, sooner or later.



All the nights after the girls would go to bed; we just sit talked and laughed, which seemed like forever, it was like we had known each other for a lifetime already. We would lie in his bed; he would hold me, until I fell asleep. I could have gotten lost in those arms, I felt so safe with them around me. That was the first time in my life, a man just laid, and held me in his arms, without wanting, or expecting anything else.



His kisses were so soft, and the gentle touches of his hands, I was falling for him.  I was getting so sacred, there had to be something wrong, he was to good to be true. I was still married, how could I be falling for someone else, he was everything my husband, never was or even thought about being.



The days went by fast, the girls were having fun, going roller-skating; going on drives in Ken’s semi truck, going out to eat. They went on dates they called them. When I would drop the girls off at school, in the town where we lived, I knew that Dick wasn’t there, so I would go by the house. I would get some things we needed, and things the girls wanted me to grab.



One night, when the girls were staying the night out of town, at my mom’s house, Ken had picked me up after work.  When we got back to his house, I smiled he had dinner cook, and the music on. As we walked through the house, he lit the candles; it was sweet, and so romantic. I thought to myself, how can this all be happening to me.


I went into the bedroom, to change out of my work clothes. As I walked back to the dinning room, he stopped me in the doorframe.

He looked at me, and whispered “Here is your song.” as “I can love you like that”- by John Michael Montgomery played on the stereo.


He placed one of my hands on his shoulder and the other in his hand, while he placed his other arm in the small of my back. We danced for what seemed like a lifetime; I was captivated in the moment, and his touch memorized me. He leaned down, and kissed me on the top of my head I looked up at him, and then we started to kiss.



We made love that night, it so loving, so caring, so gentle, it had never felt that way before.  As we laid in each other arms, I started to cry, it wasn’t tears of sadness it was tears of joy I loved this man, I didn’t want it to ever end, I had never been so happy before. Lying there with his arms around me, I kissed his arm, and whispered, “I love you” then I drifted off to sleep.



We got up, and sat at the table, we laughed at the fact that we had not eaten dinner that night, and we were lucky that the candles had not burnt the house down. I felt bad because, Ken had worked so hard to make a dinner, and a romantic evening without children, our first night alone. He had tried so hard to make it special, and ended up making it even more so.



We talked about Christmas, and we decided that when he got off work that night, and since I didn’t work that night, we would go get a Christmas tree. I told Ken, that I would go by the house, and if was safe I would load up the Christmas decorations.

As he got up to leave for work, he leaned down, and kissed me, then kissed my cheek while whispering, “I love you too.”

He stood up, with a smile on his face, from ear to ear, and then heads for the door.  



I went the house to get the Christmas decorations, and few others things that I could grab, to fill up my car with while I was there. When I was done with getting the Christmas stuff out of the garage, I headed into the house. I walked into the dinning room; there on the table was a letter from my husband. The house had been ram sacked, looked like he had been in a drunken drugged out rage, and went nuts one night. I swallowed hard, at the thought that we could have been there, but that time we weren't.



I sat down at the table for a moment, to catch my breath, and to read the letter that my husband had written. Along side of this letter, was an envelope that was mailed to the girls, for Thanks giving, from their father, the return address had been ripped off.



In the letter Dick wrote, “Do not take anything else out of this house. If you do I will contact the girls’ father, and help him get them from you. I will hunt you down, and I will find you. You will not be safe, and anyone helping you, will not be safe either. So you had better come back home, because if not I will help the girls’ father get them. I will make up lies in order to help him.”



At that moment I ran to my car, and drove off I didn’t even stop to lock the door. I had to get back to Ken’s house, and I had to call my mom, she had my girls, I needed to make sure they all were okay. I cried, sobbing the whole back to Ken’s house. What was I going to do now? I couldn’t lose my girls to their father; there is no way that would ever happen. I called my mom and they all were okay, I warned her to watch out.



I sat there on the bed the rest of the day; my world was crashing down. I knew my husband meant everything that he said. I would pay dearly for leaving him. When Ken returned home that night from work, he came into the bedroom, and found me lying on the bed, crying my eyes out with tissues everywhere. He came over sat down beside me, and rubbed my back, and asked me what was wrong.



Oh my God, I didn’t want this to end, I didn’t want to go home to the monster, that was my husband. I told him about the letter, and told him that I couldn’t lose my girls, I couldn’t chance that. I didn’t make enough money, to fight their father. I didn’t want anything to happen to him either. What choice did I have but to go back home?



He stopped rubbing my back, as I sat up to look at him in the face, he was crying along with me. He stood up, and headed to the kitchen, started doing dishes, from the night before. I walked over to him, and leaned against the counter, and asked him to talk to me.

He said, “You two deserve each other, but those girls deserve so much more.”

I told him, “Don’t say that because it isn’t true, I don’t deserve what he does to me.”

He said, “Then don’t go back. We can fight their father together.”

I looked at him, and said, “ You don’t understand, we will never be safe, Dick won’t stop until he finds me. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

He looked at me with tears in his eyes, and said, “Go back home, it is where you belong, not here with me. Just leave! You left him, now leave me.”  

I started to walk out of the room, when he yelled, “Just go now! You can come back for your stuff later, I won’t keep it.”



I grabbed purse, and walked out the door as tears ran down my face, for the life of me I couldn’t stop crying. I drove home that night, and I cried the whole way there, at times losing my breath, because I knew I just walked out, on the one man who truly loved me, to go back to a monster.


A couple days went by, and I was walking around, like I might as well just be dead. The days just went together, like it wasn’t really happening, I wasn’t really there. Thursday night came around; Dick dropped me off at work, and headed to a party, or a bar. There were always two of us on Thursday nights, because it was so busy. I was so busy that night, and I tried so hard not to think of everything that had happen that week, and the weeks prior to that night.


As I served someone at the bar, when I turned to see Sheila, as she looked at me, with this strange confused look on her face. She looked in the direction of the waitress station. Ken stood there with a single red rose in his hands. I walked over to him so I could talk to him.


Ken leaned forward, and said, “I would have given you the moon, and the stars. I would have given you the world, if you had let me. I didn’t mean the things I said. I was hurt, because I was losing you. I will always love you, until the day I die. Don’t ever forget that.”


I stood silently listened, to what he said, looked into his deep brown eyes, filled with tears, and wished I could make it all better, and turn back time. But I knew I couldn’t.

He leans forward again, hands me the red rose, and said, “You are my one, and only love. My single red rose. I love you, and always will.”


He places the rose in my hand, then turned, and started to walk to the door, stopped, by the jukebox dropped in some change, and played the song, “I can love you like that.” -By John Michael Montgomery. Then he turned, and walked out the door not looking back.


I stood there, paralyzed by his words, the moment, and the song.

Sheila looked at me, and said, “Are you going to let him walk out of your life? You are not going to stop him?”

Crying, I looked at her, and said, “I have too, because I know it is better for him, not to be with me. And I can’t chance losing my children.”

She started arguing with me and said, “Don’t give me that crap. That man loves you, and you need to go stop him. I will watch the bar while go outside.”

I told her, “I want to so badly, to go to stop him, but I can’t, my husband could be watching, and he would hurt us both. I don’t want anything to happen to him.”


After a while she left me alone, at the same time the moment was haunting me, and I knew it would haunt me for the rest of my life. That was the night, I let my true love walk away, and I didn’t stop him.


This is a memory that has never left my mind, or my heart, I think it might even still be in my soul. I can picture it like it was yesterday, I have never forgotten, the kindest, most loving, man I have ever met. I have lived with the, “What if only” for 15 years, and still to this day, he holds a special place in my heart.

August 1994 I was able to get away from Dick completely, and filed for divorced in March 1995. My girls and myself made a wonderful life for us. The three of us have never forgotten Ken, and his kindness. Ken made a huge impact, and a major difference in our lives.