(The background post to this story is "FairyTales to Nightmares". If you haven't read the story yet, you can find the link on the left hand side of my blog. This is the untold part of the story, never told until today.)

 I walked in the apartment, after working a long day of working day and night at the local bowling alley. My arms were full; of a sleeping baby, a diaper bag, and my purse. I reached, and shut the door behind me, quietly locking the deadbolt, chain lock, making sure not to disturb my sleeping daughter. I turned on the lamp, which set on the television, close to the door.

The lamplight gave me enough light to walk through the apartment to the nursery. I reached the nursery, slowing laying my sleeping 12 month old daughter in her crib. She didn’t move at all, when I laid her down. I stood there for a few minutes, waiting to make sure she wouldn’t wake up.

Someone grab me from behind, his cold hand closing around my mouth, I couldn’t make a sound, as I was startled.  I felt the ice cold metal being pressed against my temple. He whispered in my ear, “Don’t make a sound or make a move. I will kill you if you do.” Then he started to pull me backward into the hallway, toward the living room.

He pushed me hard, knocking me across the room, into the dinning room table. I reacted fast, turning quickly around to face him. I looked my estranged husband face to face, as he held a pistol toward me. He yelled, “You left me. I will kill you before I let you and the babies go. No one will have you. You are my wife.”

Then he moved so fast I didn’t even see it coming, or even have the time to respond to what he had said to me. He came across the room punching me in my 6 months along pregnant belly, so hard I doubled over in pain. He kept hitting me, knocking me around the room, kicking me in the stomach, and ribs. I had fought back, which just pissed him off more, and made things worse.  

There was such a commotion that a few of my neighbors in the apartment building called the police. They arrived at the apartments, being greeted by the manager. The manager told the police officers, that I had warned him about my abusive husband, and that I left him. So he unlocked the door for the police, then they broke the chain lock and got into the apartment.

The officers pulled their guns on my ex husband, as he had the gun to my head, yelling at the officers, to stay back, or he would shot me. I lay on the floor underneath him, as he finished pulling himself out of me, after he raped me. He was climbing off of me, while I moved to a curled up position, unable to move from the severity of pain. The officers were able to get the gun from him, and had him in handcuffs in no time. The ambulance arrived, along with my parents. My parents took my daughter with them, while the ambulance rush me to the hospital.

My ex was arrested for, tempted murder, assault with a deadly weapon, assault, and with one count of child endangerment for my unborn child. Bail was set, and he would go to court with in a week from that date. He wasn’t charged with the rape, because twenty some years ago, raping your wife was unheard of (well there wasn’t a law for that part), and since we were still legally married, until the divorce was final, which would be after the baby was born.

At the hospital I was treated for five broken ribs, lacerations to the face and other place through out my body, concussion to the right side of my head. I also had to go through the horrible rape testing procedure, for evidence purposes. The rest of the injuries were bruises, and smaller cuts.

I was admitted over night for observations to make sure that my unborn child would survive this brutal attack. I spent the next two days in the hospital, worrying every second of the days, that I would lose my baby, before I got to hold her. I was released to return home, the baby was doing fine, and I was placed on bed rest for the next couple weeks. She must have her mom in her, because she was a fighter before she was born.

I returned to the apartment, my dad, and my little brother had gone by, to clean up the mess that was made. They both knew that I would be up trying to clean it, if they didn’t do it. My dad said the place looked like a war zone, everything everywhere, and broken things here and there.

A police car met us at the apartment, informed me that my ex hadn’t made bail yet. The officers assured me, that they were keeping an eye out on the place, to make sure he would not return here. They also told me that they would let the next shift know to keep an eye on my place. One officer handed me an emergency restraining order of protection, given to me by the county judge, due to the extremity of the case.

I was scared, more like terrified to stay home in the apartment, but I wanted to be home. I wanted to be safe. I would be okay I told myself, just rest, get well. My family would come by to help with caring for my daughter when she was awake, and helping with other things, while I was on bed rest. My neighbors said that they would help me with anything. So all the bases were covered, I had plenty of people to help with things, and plenty to watch out. I also felt safe because I had the restraining order, if he showed up all I had to do was call the police. Plus the police were keeping an eye out, so who wouldn’t feel a little safe.

That night I couldn’t sleep at all, worrying about if he would come back, and because I was in pain. Being pregnant I couldn’t take anything to ease the pain, because it would harm my unborn baby. I moved out to the living room couch, watched Television, in hopes of relaxing enough to fall asleep.

Around 3am I was awaken by a loud banging on the door. There was some loud yelling outside the door. My ex was on the other side, yelling for me to let him in, or he would break the door down, or go through a window. I was on the bottom floor, so he could reach the windows, in order to break them, to enter the apartment. He started kicking the door really hard. I was sitting there on the couch, shaking in terror, of what I would do if he got into the place.

I reached behind the couch, and retrieved the double barrel shot gun, that my dad had left there, for that “Just in case” moment. He kicked the door three times, I thought it would break down, on the third kick. I yelled at him, “Go away! I am calling the police. They will be here soon. I have a gun, and I am not afraid to use it. Now go away.”

He kept yelling at me to open the door. Then he kicked it one more time; the doorframe started to crack. I knew that one more kick, that door was coming open. After the last kick, I fired the shotgun. The shot blew a huge hole in the door. The gun kicked back, and really hurt my already bruised and sore shoulder.

There was silence on the other side of the door. I had no idea if I hit him or not with the shot, and I wasn’t about to open the door to find out. I went to the kitchen and called 911, for help. I told the 911 dispatch, that my ex husband was trying to break in the door, and that I shot him. I also told her, that I had no idea if he was shot or not.

The police showed up, in a few minutes, along with an ambulance. They probably came quicker then normally to a domestic call, because there was someone possibly shot. The police officers knocked on the door, yelling it was the police, and to open up. I went to the door, and unlocked it, to let them in. I could see their uniforms, through the hole in the door, so there was no need to check through the peephole to make sure that it was the police.

The officers entered the living room asked me to turn over the gun. The officers told me that the ambulance was treating my ex, and that he was hand cuffed to the gurney. My ex was charged with tempted breaking and entering, and for breaking the restraining order of protection. 

The officers started to ask me a bunch of questions. One question was why did I aim for between the legs. (Dumb question I thought, why wouldn’t I shoot there). They told me that I had missed his, oh so precious jewels, by a ¼ of an inch. I told them, “Well I thought he was short then he really was. Next time I will open the door first, so I can aim better, and not miss."

One of the officers asked what happened to my face, and everything else that was injured, while looking down at my 6 months swollen pregnant belly. I told the officer that my ex had done it, and that I had just gotten out of the hospital. I showed them the release papers, and the emergency restraining order of protection. I told them that my apartment was supposed to have been being watched, to make sure he didn’t show back up, once he was bailed out of jail. The officer told me that when they got on duty, the shift before them never told them about the situation, and that the place should be watched.

They took the gun in for evidence, and took me in for questioning, not arresting me just basically giving me a ride to the station. My dad came to the apartment to watch my daughter while I was gone; he stayed there so we didn’t have to chance waking her up. The manager got the maintenance man to come over and replace the door.

With the circumstance that happened, a couple days before that, and the severity of the situation, I wasn’t charged with anything. They wrote it down as self defense. I didn’t hear from him, or see him for a couple weeks. I thought, rather hoped he had left the state, and went back to his family.

After I was off bed rest, I started to go back to work, and getting life back to normal. I do have to say that I never let my guard down, looking over my shoulders every second. Knowing deep down inside, that he would not give up, and that he could possibly show up at any second, out of no where.

Two weeks after my ex had tried to break into the house; I had gotten off work and went to the grocery store. I loaded all the groceries into the trunk of my car, then put my daughter in the car seat. I sat in the driver’s seat, placing the keys in the ignition.  I went to turn the key, when a baseball bat, slammed down on the windshield busting it. Then another swing of the bat, and this time it went flying through the front windshield. The ball bat hit my right side of my face, breaking my jaw, knocking me out, and pushing my left side of my head into the driver side window.

My ex was beating the car, and breaking out the rest of the windows, when the police arrived.  Someone who was outside, had seen what was happening, and went back into the store, to call 911. Thank God, someone didn’t turn a blinds eye, because who knows what else he would have done. The police got my ex taken down to the ground, and place in handcuffs, and into the squad car.

The ambulance arrived, removing me from the car, and placing me on a gurney. I was taken to the hospital, for treatment of a broken jaw, concussion, and stitches on my head and face, from going through the window. The police officers took my daughter in one of the squad cars, and followed the ambulance. They were able to get a hold of my parents, so they could meet us at the hospital, to take the baby, and to be there for me.

My ex was charged with; assault with a deadly weapon, assault, tempted murder, two counts of child endangerment, and destruction to private property.  There was no bail set, and he would go before the judge the following day. His family got him a really high priced attorney, to help him get off.

The charges were dropped, from all three incidences on the condition that he leave the state, and not return for any reason what so ever. I was awarded a full lifetime state restriction against him. The restriction stated that he could not come into the state I live in, unless he had a twenty-four hours notice to the sheriff’s office, of the county I lived in. The paperwork had to be signed before he crossed the state line.  If he broke the restraining order, and crossed the state line, and came anywhere near me again, he then would be charged with all counts that were dropped. After court, he was escorted over the state line.

I told you he had a damn good, high priced attorney. Plus the laws twenty-four years ago, weren’t even half as strong as they are today, against the crimes of domestic violence. There were no eyewitnesses willing to sign a statement; they all wanted left out of it. After the courts ruling, I packed us up, moved out of town, and closer to my parents. There was no way I was going to stay in the same town, and take the chance of him breaking the state restriction. I knew him too well, I knew he would try something to get to us.

The divorce was final in November that year, after my youngest daughter was born. My ex didn’t fight me on anything, and he didn’t show up for court. I tried hard to pick up the pieces of my life that was shattered into a million pieces everywhere. The girls and myself stayed in hiding for fives years. I was only twenty years old when this all took place. Married at 18, mother at 19, mother again at 20, and divorced at 20, almost two years of hell. 

Even though life hasn’t been a bed of roses for my girls or myself. We all three have made it through the rocky roller coaster that has been our lives, the last 25 years. We have survived the worst of odds, and climbed all those mountains, to a much happier life. My daughters are now, 25, and soon to be 24. They have made me very proud of them, and who they have become in life. We are very thankful to be alive today. I am also very thankful that I have both of my daughters, my angels here on earth. My girls are what have kept me strong, and kept me going all these years, giving me a reason to survive, no matter what life dealt out.