Had myself a really great time with a very nice young gentleman. We already knew each other.  We had dated back in last of 2007 until beginning of 2008. He is a “REAL” Cowboy... giggles.. He is in the PBR, which is the Professional Bull Riding circuit. The PBR was in town the weekend before last, for one night only performance.

When we met, he had been home for a few years, because he had been injured, when a horse fell on his legs, from the knees down. He was staying out at his parent's ranch, during the time that he was getting treatment for his legs done.
He was helping his mom with training horses; she trains them for the rodeos and the PBR. He also went to other ranches, to help work the horses, and breaks a couple high spirited horses.

He is what my friends, and myself, would call "Totally fucking preferred stock.".. Country girl talk, we have the habit of, comparing men to animals that they really are, anyway. Not to mention he had one hell of a handsome and beautiful face to go right along with that preferred stock body of his. Giggles.. DIMPLES TOO and a smile that would melt you like butter all over the floor.. Lighting up his face, and making his eyes sparkle like diamonds.

OMG!! He can dance.. Damn!! I have never met a man that could dance like he does. He can not only country style dance, but also ball room dance.. He took me to a high class uppity restaurant once, back when we were dating, and we were doing the ball room dancing. It was breath taking.

HOLLY CRAP!! I haven't done that dancing since right out of high school.. Maybe?.. It didn't matter because he could lead. I think even if I had two left feet he would still be able to make me look like a great dancer too..

He left to go back to the PBR in Jan 08, the same month I got my DUI and started life from ground zero.

OMG!!! I could just go on and on... He was trying to talk me into going with him..I wish I could, but I can't live that life style (Like a Rock Star) anymore..
It is only fun while it lasts.

He wanted to come over and stay the night, but I didn't let him... I knew he would be leaving Sunday morning. So only being friends, long distance, and visiting when he come to town, is all there is for a while. That is all I can handle right now. I knew I would fall in love with him all over again. And I would then get hurt when he had to leave again..
He is 12 years younger than me, and 12 years older than my oldest daughter. He had no children of his own, but wanted some. He could handle me being a mother of older daughters, all raised and out of the house. He couldn’t handle the fact that I was a grandma. So that put a huge damper on things before he left to go back to the PBR.

You have no idea how badly I wanted to let him stay.

I am still smiling from ear to ear.

He left to go back on the road early this morning. He came by my 4-plex, really early this morning. The sun and the birds weren't even up yet.

We sat on his tail gate, of his truck. Then we laid down in the bed of the truck watching the stars, the sun rise and just talked.  Sitting in my driveway... Giggling.

I didn't want him to go, hadn't seen him since Dec 07. NO !! Wait ! It was after New Years of 08. He had stopped by the farm house, to tell me good bye, and that he was going back to the PBR rodeo circuit.
He was shocked to see that most of my things were packed up. I told him what had happened..
So he went back to the PBR, and I went to rehab.
Never seen or talked to each other, until Saturday night.

Then he had to leave and go catch up with the crew and all the buses.
DAMN IT!!! Anyway..
Sometimes life just doesn't work out like we want it to..
Following the circuit isn't a way of life that I want to live. So I will stay home, and let the thoughts of him cross my mind, and make me smile, every now and then.

“Then we will stay in touch, stay home, and stable, and look up for the hook up. Sometimes, you have to settle for something that works in different ways!”- Quote by a friend... Hi Zuma..

Telling Zuma and writing this just gave me Goosebumps, and tears to the surface.
I know he will be back around some day; his parents live in the area. He is in the PBR, around here where I live, they are so into the rodeos, everyone goes. PBR is here more than once, a year.
They were here the weekend before last, in the town where my dad lives, which is 15-20 minutes from me...
I went out of town hoping that I would miss him while he was here.
It didn't work... He took extra time to spend a little time with his parents and then they told him where I lived. They had run into me, couple times around town.

But when we were lying there, in the bed of the truck, looking at the stars, the moon, and watching the sunrise. He looked right into my eyes, with those sky blue eyes, that always melted me like butter.
He says... "When you miss me... Look up at the stars, and the moon... I am right there beside you...”
I wanted to cry...

Life sometimes doesn’t work out the way that you want it to.  You just have to work thing out in different ways...

 © 2010 Fireeyes24

The Man in the Moon

As the night slowly creeps up on the sunshine

Look up to the sky, you will see me there

The brightest star in the North

Directing you home

Rain shimmering down

Making a crystallized haze

Hypnotizing glow from 

The Man in the moon

                                                                                     © 2010 Fireeyes24   

Thank you Zuma for the much needed conversations, I think on both our sides. Most of all Thank you for the inspiration, to do this post.. Love and hugs.. 

This is story is nonfiction