My son, Bryan, came to visit last week with his girlfriend, Lisa. We had a wonderful time. It was great getting our families together for dinner, spending hours talking to them about their life in New York. My son is funny and bright. He said coming home to Gainesville was like coming to a third world country - that's how cheap the food was compared to New York City.
He is trying to be a comedy writer in New York and Lisa is a skilled graphic artist. When my grandson was born, she created the truly adorable and unique birth announcements, appropriate for a kid born in Gainesville, Florida where the University of Florida fighting gators rule. Her little green dancing gators were perfect, and exactly matched my own happy feet at his birth.
Bryan and Lisa have been dating for a long time. A few years ago, they broke up, and that broke my heart. She moved to Atlanta, and he didn't want to go. When they broke up, she became my Facebook friend. Shortly thereafter, my son took off with some friends to the Big Apple. Lisa and I stayed in contact, and I filled her in about his doings.
When she announced that she too was moving to New York, I was so happy. As my husband said, "Isn't it ironic that they managed to run into each other in a city of 8 million people." Yeah, that's the ticket. Ironic.
I have a secret. I keep it from my son. Because I don't want to push him into anything he doesn't want to do. My secret is, I desperately want them to get married. Don't know why but I just know this is THE one, that if he loses her, he will regret it for the rest of his life. I was lucky. I met his father and knew pretty soon afterwards that I'd met my life partner. And believe me, I went through hell to get to that point. Lost loves, lots of dating, and a failed first marriage.
But I know when something is right. And yet, if I said, "When are you going to marry that girl?" he might feel pushed and cornered. He might run away just because he felt trapped. We always said the girl who caught Bryan would be running in the other direction. And Lisa is a smart girl. She knows how he is. He treasures her, but he treasures his independence, just like his mother does. What he doesn't get is - SHE gets that, too! I hope she doesn't get tired of waiting for. In the meantime, I'll bite my tongue, silently imagining my dark-eyed grandchildren. :)