[Steps on soapbox.] 

This is a plea from the bottom of my dog-loving, Labrador-devoted heart: don't buy a Labrador after you see, as inevitably you will, Marley & Me.

For those of you who've been under a rock for the past eleventy months, Marley & Me is this feel-good, supercheerful, everyone-lives-in-Gap-ads-and-Pottery-Barn-catalogues movie about a man (Owen Wilson), his wife (Jennifer Aniston), and their terror of a pooch, Marley.  It's sweet.  It's cute.  There are well-coiffed and incredibly well-behaved children in it.  The dog is always up to crazy antics.  It's that kind of a movie.  And it features at its heart a beautiful (actually several beautiful) yellow Labrador with these cocky, mustard-yellow ears and dopey eyes that make you temporarily forget that you live in an apartment and can't afford to replace the hubcaps that were stolen off your Toyota over the holiday much less raise a whole dog-animal.  Yes, you will want a dog that much (unless you're not into dogs in the first place -- weirdo -- and then you'll probably want a dog even less).  Not only will you want a dog, but you'll want a yellow Labrador: a purebred.  You'll want the canine equivalent of a WASP, my friends.

That's not a bad thing in of itself.  I grew up with Labs: one yellow Lab called Mocha, not unlike the Marley of the flick, and two black Labs, brother and sister from the same litter, who were quite possibly two of the greatest animals in the history of animals.  I loved them and wouldn't trade a single moment or memory.  But if and when I choose to get a dog again, it sure as hell won't be a purebred puppy, no matter how cute and fuzzy they are.   I'll go to the shelter instead, where adopting a dog will actually mean something. 

Here's what I mean:

Purebreds, especially popular breeds like Labs, tend to be overbred dogs.  Sure, it's possible to find a reputable breeder who manages to ensure that the bloodlines are clean of defects and who ethically raises and breeds his/her dogs; you may pay up to $1,000 for a puppy from that litter.  It's even possible to find some dopes who thought it'd be cool to whelp a few purebred pups.  You'll pay heftily for those dogs, too.  But it's also possible, even likely, that the gorgeous purebred Lab pup you buy comes from a puppy mill.  A puppy mill, as you might guess from its name, is not a happy place.  Dogs are mistreated, bred until an inch of their lives, and then, once their ability to have or stud pups is gone, they're abandoned or killed.  Plus, the puppies that come from these mills are treated like products, not living and intelligent animals that will one day live with the family.  The risk of those puppies suffering from congenital defects is high.  Buying a purebred dog, no matter what the breed and even no matter the breeder, keeps demand high and keeps those puppy mills churning out puppies like there's no tomorrow.

And there are so many loving puppies and dogs in shelters that need homes.

If the movie inspires dog-love in your heart, good for you.  But if the dog-love can only take the form of a sturdy, otter-tailed, yellow-coated Lab, ask yourself if what you want really is a dog -- that is, the devoted, crazy, stinky, exuberant love only a dog can provide.  If it has to be a Lab, I'm willing to wager that you're either caught up in the nonsense of "predicting" behavior or that somehow owning a Lab makes you an Owen Wilson or a Jennifer Aniston.  (Admit it: no one sells perfume, for example, by telling you what it smells like.  There are always good-looking people running around and getting sexy.  We buy image as much as product.  I digress.)

Same goes for any purebreed. 

Love and joy and companionship can come from any pooch.

Adopt!  Don't buy!

[Steps down from soapbox.]