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JANUARY 12, 2009 11:58PM

The schoolkids are putting on a play. So I reminisce.

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When I was a sophomore in high school thirteen years ago (Jesus fuck, it's flying by), I auditioned for a role in the musical Guys and Dolls by singing the song "Master of the House" from Les Miserables.

1. I was auditioning for a female part, being female.

2. So I thought the best thing to do, to audition for a female part in a musical about gambling gangsters,was

3. To sing a song from an entirely different musical

4. That has no connection to the musical I auditioned for.

5. Oh, and I sang the part of the MALE



Meaning, if you followed my logic, I did everything wrong.

And I didn't get a part.

Now I am an adult.  I teach at a high school, which is putting on Les Miserables for the Spring Musical.  I'm helping out because I could never resist the drama people.  Today at auditions, one by one they went up there, the boys, the comic boys, auditioning for Thenardier by singing, logically, "Master of the House."  I was thrown violently into my silly past.

Teaching high school is more or less a constant reminder that I was a Dorky McDorkerton when I was in high school.  I mean, I was in the Jazz Band and ran for president of the French Club.  When I ditched class, I wrote poems and read National Geographics.

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