THE DUEL OF THE WEEK!

Freaky Troll

Location: Bottom of Purse, Washington,
Birthday: November 11

Bio: I like cake, and cake activities. Please tell me about your cake IN DETAIL. ---------------------------------------------------- Member of the Troll Women Activist Team. ---------------------------------------------------- Creator of Prop. Cake ---------------------------------------------------- Puts the "Open" into Open Salon ---------------------------------------------------- Victim of Zerry's jealousing ---------------------------------------------------- I MUST LAND ON SALON'S FRONT PAGE. IT'S MY RIGHT! LOOKIT! _________________________________ FOLLOW ME ON FACEBOOK: FREAQUI TROLL

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It can only be contained for so long...
July 07, 2010 10:38AM
Hopper Dies. G 22 never to be called.
May 29, 2010 05:29PM
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May 28, 2010 08:28PM
NSFW: Green Beans for Barry
May 15, 2010 12:04AM
...but feel free to suck my foothole UPDATED: shocking photo
May 14, 2010 05:07PM

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“You gotta love a man that chooses his blogging name by banging his face on the ke…”
January 02, 2011 04:24PM
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May 29, 2010 05:45PM
“Come rub my head.”
May 29, 2010 05:39PM

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New list: BEST BLOG EVER; BEAUTIFUL TROLLS; THE ONLY BLOG YOU NEED TO READ

« Back to Posts

SEPTEMBER 22, 2009 11:05AM

Rate: 36 Flag

HUNGRY CAT

FURNITURE BOT

*publicity photos provided by: cute-kittens.com and ridgesoft educational tools.

Merchandise still available:

Don't be caught unprepared!

Sure you're hawt, but don't be on fire!

Don't be caught in the Devil's Lawnchair!

NOT CHEAP! But it will certainly impress your neighbors.

One of the competitors requested a troll angel:

Author tags:

tuesday tuesday tuesday, cheap patio furniture floated to your door, exorcisms are dangerous

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Comments

Post a comment

This is the most exciting thing since The Thrilla in Vanilla.

Freaky Troll

September 22, 2009 11:05 AM

Oh. MY. GAWD! HILARIOUS!!!!!

cartouche

September 22, 2009 11:07 AM

GET YOUR PATIO FURNITURE SEX CONDOMS HERE!

Freaky Troll

September 22, 2009 11:10 AM

GET YOUR FIRE PIT SAFETY EXTINGUISHER HERE!

Freaky Troll

September 22, 2009 11:13 AM

Wait, the furniture has to wear condoms too?

Owl_Says_Who

September 22, 2009 11:18 AM

Those condoms must be huge!! Do you want one of mine??

LuisG

September 22, 2009 11:24 AM

Furniture-bot rules!!

LeedsJr

September 22, 2009 11:27 AM

Where are the Kumar Brothers?

Freaky Troll

September 22, 2009 11:34 AM

Only on OS . . . where we don't just joust with windmills, we dual with spam! Over patio furniture wearing condoms.

Owl_Says_Who

September 22, 2009 11:34 AM

cats, condoms and waterbeds don't mix.

Foolish Monkey

September 22, 2009 11:35 AM

So is this what they meant when they referred to "Artificial Intelligence"? That we'd be bandying words about with an electronic spam generator?

I'm beginning to look at my lawn mower in a new way...... praise Pan.

Bill S.

September 22, 2009 11:36 AM

My money's on the cat.
Bots can't jump, bite or scratch, right?
Right?????

spotted_mind

September 22, 2009 11:39 AM

If we need condoms, then we need a good chaise lounge to go with...xox

Robin Sneed

September 22, 2009 11:43 AM

Da smart moh-nay's on der kitty.

"Enemaizing the Internet"? Oh, tso, tso sorely, Itz "Exorcising the Intestines" Damn glasses.

Trudge164

September 22, 2009 11:45 AM

Once again, big fun.
You always bring sunshine to OS.
rated

micalpeace

September 22, 2009 11:51 AM

That cat photo is hilarious---sort of looks like my lovely boy.

m. a.h

September 22, 2009 11:54 AM

@spotted_mind - We didn't think the bots could type. I'd say all bets are off regarding their capabilities. I don't think they can climb the curtains, though.

Owl_Says_Who

September 22, 2009 11:59 AM

When it's too goofy for me, it's a tin!
Hot Tin bare butt. Ya better behave!
hot!
as a
dickens.
a devil.
euphemistically,
a Jabber Wacky.
Next? A post about rhinoplasty. okay!
I'm gonna buy a gold nose stud by e-bye!
What in tarnations going on @ Open Salon?
What in the dickens is the 21-st devil up too?
I hope Dr Freaky Troll PhD ~ do it! nose stud?
for free?
all century?
Ya's good PhD?
cc.
share sprinkler?
cool off in a rain?
scrub wash Ya ears?
use 20- Mule Teams?
Use Borax laundry soap!
20- Mule Team's outside?
No. 20- Mule Team suds!
It is the laundry detergent!
Read 20- Mule Team's Tips!
Borax soap. It's the Booster!
The box of soap has Ten Tips!
Buy Ya own Borax garden suds!
Get out of town by noon? okay!
Me. You stay and wash clothes!

Art James

September 22, 2009 12:00 PM

I'll do my best to protect you, Betty. There's no telling what it'll learn, but perhaps we can teach it the concept of namaste. If not, I've got a trusty baseball bat.

Owl_Says_Who

September 22, 2009 12:08 PM

Arthur, remember when I got my nose pierced? CLICK HERE. That picture went viral in India... I'm not kidding.

Freaky Troll

September 22, 2009 12:10 PM

Good point, Owl.

@Bot: All your furniture are belong to us!

spotted_mind

September 22, 2009 12:15 PM

@spotted - Stay close, just in case. Back in the day, I knew how to do some damage with this bat.

Owl_Says_Who

September 22, 2009 12:24 PM

Don't bats sleep during the day? Don't startle the poor thing.

Freaky Troll

September 22, 2009 12:30 PM

I have no words.......

MiddleAgedWomanBlogging

September 22, 2009 12:31 PM

::THUD::

MiddleAgedWomanBlogging

September 22, 2009 12:31 PM

You sure have a lot of bread and eggs in your fridge. Making a bread cake? French Toast for an army?

Oh, what was this about again?

Major Mojo

September 22, 2009 12:39 PM

Can the cat make omelettes?

spotted_mind

September 22, 2009 12:43 PM

Freaky condoms? HELL YEAH, but do they taste like cake?

LadyMiko

September 22, 2009 12:51 PM

Can I get a couple of those condoms? I've added you as a favorite even though your banner is triggering seizures of the grand mal variety.

bobbot

September 22, 2009 12:52 PM

I should do a banner update. I'll get on that tonight. Speaking of which, here's your bag of condoms.

Freaky Troll

September 22, 2009 12:58 PM

I'm fortunately immune to the furniturebot's wiles. I don't buy patio furniture, cheap or other wise, I just retire stuff from inside the house out to the yard. So far I've got a glass-topped rattan dining room table, a velvet ottoman, and a nice floral-pattern love seat out there, and I'm thinking that my old futon would look nice next to the driveway.

nanatehay

September 22, 2009 01:00 PM

Freaky - it's a Louisville Slugger, among the most reliable weapons in baseball. Besides, those cute little mice with wings might get taken out by the cat.

Owl_Says_Who

September 22, 2009 01:03 PM

the pussy. hands down.

femme forte aka candace

September 22, 2009 01:07 PM

Good thing someone finally mentioned your banner's tendency to cause seiiiiiiixxzzzzzzzz*#(*&urrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeees.

Hells Bells

September 22, 2009 01:23 PM

Careful Will. I think it senses your presence.

nanatehay

September 22, 2009 01:32 PM

There's rumor that the bot's posse is trying to spike the cat's pre-match tuna.

Stim

September 22, 2009 01:44 PM

Did we pass the test? DID WE PASS THE TEST?!! KUMAR BROTHERS UNITE!

Freaky Troll

September 22, 2009 02:16 PM

Hmmm . . . haven't seen the bot in awhile.

Owl_Says_Who

September 22, 2009 02:29 PM

seriously though ... what's that cat gonna do with all those eggs???

1_Irritated_Mother

September 22, 2009 02:40 PM

Beware bot….that cat’s no pussy

Spin Doctor

September 22, 2009 03:16 PM

You can see some fab snow pics of me in THE FREAKY TROLL SNOW REPORT

I also stuck the troll angel above.

Freaky Troll

September 22, 2009 04:27 PM

Can I get those condoms shipped to heaven?

ocularnervosa

September 22, 2009 04:55 PM

i have to have that fountain!

daisy jane smithie

September 22, 2009 05:34 PM

It's packed up and ready to go to heaven right now!

Freaky Troll

September 22, 2009 05:50 PM

STF Sexually Transmitted Furniture?

Is there masturbation permitted on the patio? On that furniture? Is it wrong to wear a condom while masturbating if you want to be safe? Is anything sacred?