I would like an Astropsycat degree please...where do I...um...donate the fees?

Hmmm...I'll take two please.

The new dress is...umm.... neat dear. That paper here looks awesome. Can you make me one too? I always wanted one ya know.

Okay, I'm working on it....

I could do with a Psy Chick degree, the Astro would be bonus.

I smell fraud.

eh, looks real enough to me.

If you can print it out and put it in a frame, it's real! It's not imaginary!

I want the dress too Freaky. I need it to dance in.

That's right losers! The next time you think you're smarter than me - just remember this - I'm a degree holding Astropsychics.

I want one! But make sure it makes me sound smart...k...?

How does your brush with greatness feel, Cat Lady?

I would like my name on Cindy Ross's novel. I would take "with" or "as told to" credit.

Freaky -

That is true... that is how I got myself ordained.

Dude, the font you used on the banner is so 1970's . . . .SWEET! Makes me wish I had a pair of bell bottoms and a Stones album :)

And for $9.99, the letters can be rearranged to read "astrophysicist."

I'm a proud alumnus. (That's Latin for "guy who graduated from your school." Cool, huh?)

Knowledge is stupid. Why do people want their name on Cindy's navel though?

You. Are. Brilliant. (and I'm not just talking about the hair)

This is by far better than anything I've been offered on facebook!

freaky, I don't think Judy will put ya on the cover either, she's been briefed by those OTHER eds, shown files and everything.

*weeping*

IT'S UNFAIR!!!! STUPID FILES!!!

*wanders off*

Your university looks really makes a difference, Dr. Freaky Troll; thanks for this service to the world community!

OMG: I am CERTAIN that our doctors here in Hon. have used these; I didn't know they knew about Open Salon!

THERE ARE FILES? no no no no no

Do you have any Doctorate of Nude Stuff? I will settle for Doctorate of Cookies...

How soon we forget Timmie...uh...Tony? Terry?

I assume the hearings are to determine how much we approve of Freaky Troll, not whether we approve of Freaky Troll.

Incidentally, I find it surprising that Freaky Troll has never indulged in the third person.

And I have a triple dog dare degree in Nagivation.

Is this a diploma mill? Are you advertising? I thought no advertising was allowed?

Can I get a law degree, one that will give me a free pass so I don't have to take the bar? How much???

For Cindy Ross: Everyone knows Cindy Ross has already written a wildly successful book about her adventures following the entire continental divide! With children, and llamas too. Cindy Ross deserves a Doctorate of Adventurology.

Will you be granting any degrees to the new enditator?

She's been lurking.

Of course they hired someone from "Brooklyn." There is such a prejudice against west coast people here on OS! Even the time is always making us confused, it's always NY time, we never get a chance. We westies post something and people say we're drunk or something because the time stamp says 2 AM, even though it was really only 11PM.

Freaky Troll, Atty. at Law, is there someone we can sue? Corporations, individuals, lets start taking names. I am tired of time zone discrimination. The world is not on New York time. If we are global we should be on GMT.

I want my doctoral degree in Psychodelics from the Freaky School...

This really works. I just got my degree in proctology. Thanks, Freaky.

BTW, my office is now open to open your orifices. Bottoms up!

How about one for Tongue Expert :P

If I knew what was going on I'd probably be worried.

I want a degree in cakeology, who do you recommend that I see? I think for you although Frequi I should whip up something delightfull something maybe like a Strawberry Frequi Cake? Or maybe a Magic Orange Smash Cake, complete with Marshmallow Fluff filling, umm...I know I can definitely have a Frequi party, because I know a lot of trolls.

freaky you've been subpoenaed by congress! go rogue! show them your credentialz! then deny everything!

love the do. it's very annie lenox meets cotton candy.

What is your fee Ms. Freaky?

You are a doll!!!

Why is that Cindy Ross won't even come clean about the alpacas?

I do so want time dating parity, is that so much to ask?

Would you guys all just come to San Blas!!?? I'll have guest quarters soon, and you can use your shitty Spanish to order cold beer and hot senioritas. (And pay $300 per year for health insurance....)

And the tres-creama cake is divine, Freaky baby.

google cindy ross, then you'll know

as for the rest, well just look at the time stamp on your comment

if you live on the east coast it is accurate for when you posted whatever

if you are anywhere else in the world? not so much

I am demanding time dating parity for all

Greenwich Mean Time is the only fair way to do it.

I implore you, my fellow OSers,
to understand and join me
in taking up this gauntlet,
a voice for those in time zones,
those who are not respected,
those whose words are often
not understood,
because of the times

TIMEZONE PARITY
ONE ZONE FOR ALL
ALL FOR ONE ZONE

I beseech all of you to join me in my quest. GMT, it's the only way.

Kyle is having sex with dead people? More than one? Were they badly decomposed, I mean I'm trying to understand, and then there is the why. Why would Kyle have sex with a dead person? Couldn't find anyone who was alive? Not afraid of the ah, uh, smell and bacterial issues? I guess if you get them fresh enough it wouldn't matter but still...

Then I started thinking about the after death sex and how that could happen and I was going to ask Kyle D, but I just can't. Too much, even for me. How would a woman...?

I have a feeling an astropsychic would know just how to cure what ails me. You'd think I could find one here in the Bay Area and not have to venture to Tejas or Canada to get my relief.

Cindy, thank you for telling me about the files. Ed tried to tell me they weren't, but then I was like, "Pfffft!! Your backup tapes all got erased didn't they?"

And he finally said, "Yea....but don't tell anyone!!" so I didn't tell anyone, I told a whole bunch of people.

I think I'm going to go write my romance novel, it'll be about this woman who goes to the morgue to see her sick grandmother, but instead she finds Mr. Right(Right in the Freezer) and falls in love and she's like, "I wish there was a way to go back in time like three days before while this stiff still had a stiffy!!" and whoosh, like magic, she is sent to the 1600s(cause her time machine sucks and not in that good way sucks, more like the bad way sucks) where she meets Pirate Jim and they have sex, and she forgets about the dead guy in the morgue and it will be called, "Dead Guys are Good for a Stiffy by Angelo D'Amarco"

Freaky, don't worry, the file on you is gone, EPs and covers galore coming your way and I've peeked in the "Super Secret Plans for Redeveloping Open.Salon into a World Dominating Force" guess who'll be a guest editor very soon?

That's right, Tiny Tim!!! Good guess!!

*wanders off*

Ooh, free degrees!

Cymraeg -
Somehow I doubt very much a Freaky degree is free! Ooooo I made a rhyme!

@ Cindy Ross, I had nothing to do with the placement of my commnents and LadyMiko's. I swear.

Colonoscopies While You Wait @ Dr. Trudge's In the Back Way Medical Emporium

You're giving a whole new dimension to online education.

I want a degree in smoking weed, and another in thinking.
Thanks haha.