Fred The Cat's Blog

What Does Not Kill Me, I Will Vomit On The Rug...

Fred The Cat

Fred The Cat
Bio
Fred was born in a farmer's field in 1997. He was rescued with his littermate and became a house cat. Fred is getting older and more cantankerous. He spends most of his time sleeping and complaining about the quality of his cat food. He lives with two friends, Rico who is needy and neurotic. Majic is independent and likes to bring home mice and kill them in front of me. Fred is my doppleganger. He is an aspiring writer and spends/wastes a lot of his time pursuing interests that take him down rabbit holes.

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DECEMBER 15, 2009 10:07PM

Shortbread and Cats are not a Good Mix

 

Shortbread is the prima donna of Christmas baking. It is a rich sweet indulgence that makes its appearance only at Christmastime.  Shortbread is more pleasing than its fruitier, darker cousin the fruitcake. Shortbread is the absolute opposite.

 

Fruitcakes are scorned for their denseRead full post »

 Disaster Porn is my favourite movie genre.  Disaster Porn is a movie that, well, features a disaster, man-made or natural as a major plot point. The special effects must look realistic and there should be as many as possible.  Not necessarily to advance the plot but because it loRead full post »

NOVEMBER 10, 2009 8:41PM

Mexican Apple Burritos and Baby Burritos

My granddaughter is 5 weeks old and loves to be wrapped like a burrito.  The correct term is swaddling but she resembles a burrito when she is fully wrapped.  Her father can wrap her quickly and expertly.  However, her mother has a little bit of difficulty and often the baby manages… Read full post »

OCTOBER 13, 2009 7:25PM

Babies and Blueberry Muffins

 My daughter is nursing my newborn granddaughter.  It is tiring and she does not have much time for making meals. Since it is important that she continue to eat well and eat healthy, I made her these muffins.  They are simple and there is nothing in them to cause a reaction… Read full post »

On October 8,  more than two weeks behind schedule my first granddaughter was born.  I waited at the hospital watching Phantom of the Opera on my laptop.  My child had decided early on that only her husband could be present for the actual birth.  I was fine with that, I really… Read full post »

OCTOBER 6, 2009 8:11PM

Lazy Peanut Butter Cookies...

My kitchen was painted a brilliant yellow last year and as a result, it always looks like sunshine is pouring in.  It has become one of my favourite places to sit even on overcast days. The cats' dishes are here and that means that a cat is always nearby; eating/complaining/drinking or… Read full post »

I have been looking for green tomatoes for several weeks.  I like to make green tomato chutney in the autumn for my friend.  He mentioned our search to a neighbour and within the hour he dropped off a large box of green tomatoes to our door  with some hot hot peppers… Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 15, 2009 7:52PM

Fred Does Not Have a Sense of Humour...

 During my daily walks I often pass a cookware store that prominently displays "The Ex".  It is a knife holder in the shape of a male figure.  There are five knives thrust through this man.  One is directly in the centre of his head.  The others take aim at his other… Read full post »
SEPTEMBER 8, 2009 9:13PM

Mouse Entrails...

I have parked my car in the same place in my driveway for years.  Fred knows this.  He will sit on my car and survey the neighbourhood.  My car is dark blue and there are always visible cat prints on it.  I can understand his need for some height; when your… Read full post »

101_0354This chair is my favourite chair in my house.  It sits in front of my natural gas stove.  On cold mornings and cold evenings, I like to recline in it and scorch my feet against the artificial fire until I can feel the first degree burns begin.  I have a heat… Read full post »

AUGUST 26, 2009 8:40PM

Fred's Life Lesson

It was a sunny Saturday, the first dry and warm day in a long, wet and cool summer.  I stood at my patio door admiring the jungle that I call my backyard.  I am trying an English garden scenario.  It means lots of bushes, perennials and wild plants that I cannot… Read full post »

AUGUST 18, 2009 11:21PM

Fred Plots His Next Move...

101_0741Fred and I have reached an impasse.  He comes and goes as he pleases.  I enforce my authority by not letting him outside in the morning before I go to work.  He walks to the door and waits, confident that I will relent and release him to the outside.  But I… Read full post »

Fred and Majic: Neighbourhood WatchWhen I come from from work, I do the same thing every day.  I let Fred and Majic go outside.  Rico the Neurotic Cat usually chooses not to venture outside,  he is too afraid of his shadow during the day.  He will go out at night and stay out willingly all night… Read full post »

AUGUST 12, 2009 8:34PM

So Now I Have 5 Cats...

Cats and Towels...Not a Good MixFor over a year, I had five cats.  Three belong to me, one was my daughter's cat and one belonged to her husband. They were living in Basel, Switzerland.  Taking the cats  overseas was not an option.  I liked cats. Unfortunately.  I thought that it would not be much mo… Read full post »

AUGUST 7, 2009 9:59PM

Mula...Queen of the Kitchen

101_0460This is Mula, she belongs to my son-in-law.  She was only with me for a year but she ruled the house with an iron fist and a full colon.  She is an older cat and was used to living alone with one person.  Through no fault of her own she was… Read full post »

101_0339This is Hoaggarden.  He is my daughter's cat.  He also came from the local shelter.  Hoag was found with his mother on the side of a road.  He is basically an imbecile.  Even the shelter staff admitted to it.  You can hold him and drop him and he will invariably l… Read full post »

AUGUST 4, 2009 8:49PM

Black Majic...My Silent Cat

101_0590Sleeping in my planter is Black Majic.   He also came from the local shelter.  I did not intend to have three cats but I was visiting there one day and I saw him sitting in his cage.  Unlike the other cats, he did not feel the need to vocalize his… Read full post »

AUGUST 3, 2009 6:12PM

Rico the Neurotic Cat

101_0366Rico is neurotic because of a traumatic experience that happened when he first came to live with me.

Rico came from the local shelter.  My daughter wanted a lap cat;  a cat that would lay on your lap for hours and be happy to do so.  Fred is not a lap… Read full post »

AUGUST 3, 2009 5:35PM

Fred is Not Dead...Yet

Several months ago, Fred began to slow down more than usual.  He lay stretched out on the carpet, barely lifting his head.  Rico; The Neurotic Cat,  periodically nudged him to make sure that he was still breathing.  He remained motionless, ignored me and more ominously, showed no… Read full post »