Ah...the labels, and the categorization, and the judgement. Except for that...

I understand the ambivalence expressed here.

Thanks sophie. I just wonder, always, who is categorized, and who is judged. Then I have to stop, and just sign the forms and get on with things. Thanks for reading.

I love this. While TAG had its reasons for coming into existence, it is so true that many very bright children may never test into TAG, while many who do test well aren't innovative thinkers and never will be.
Not to even mention those with just more material advantage. Even better food makes a smarter kid, they say...
I relate very well to this worry of kids being left out, but I have also seen over the years how a innovative brain can develop just as well when it must create its own fun all summer.
If it helps at all, some ('some' emphasized) of those TAG kids, or those highly structured kids I've known over the years, couldn't come up with a creative thought, or the ability to problem solve, or invent something entirely new, if their TAG test depended on it.
That often takes a creative thinker, an out of the box type kid--sometimes, if not often, those are ADHD kids.

When will we see the mainstream acceptance of the brilliance of THOSE kids??

Thanks Just Thinking. I know that innovation and true creativity doesn't come from TAG camp. And I've actually worked hard to un-structure my kids' lives, to make sure they have time to mess around and get bored and make up their own fun. I'm just conflicted about the whole TAG thing. What does it really mean?

Fabulous piece. I live in L.A. with similar types of parents.

Thanks Christina. I know the over-educated hyper-competitive parents are everywhere. I'm trying to catch myself, to let my kids be who they are. And I'm trying to remind myself it's just a label, like "100% Cotton" or "No Tumble Dry."

Well, this just makes me love you, Froggy. It's clear what a good mother and good human being you are. I have a problem with labels too, and yes, especially when certain groups aren't even represented.
I wouldn't let my daughter miss the opportunity either. But I know how you feel. ~r

Thanks Joanie. Coming from you as a teacher, I appreciate knowing you think I'm a good mom. Most days I doubt myself, especially when I think about math facts and all the stuff I ought to be doing at home. Thanks for understanding.

When I googled:

"For Whom is TAG Designed?
TAG is designed for students whose intellectual capacity and aptitudes, rate of learning, and potential for creative contributions require experiences apart from the regular program.

What Is A TAG Student Like?
While stereotypes should be avoided, there are characteristics, which can often be associated with gifted students. Students identified for the TAG program have innate reasoning abilities. They can reason more quickly than normal students their age. This can, and should lead to higher levels of learning combined with the ability to make connections others may not make. They may demonstrate unusual commitment to tasks that they enjoy. They may exhibit precocious senses of humor, advanced vocabulary, or concerns for more global issues than their peers. Difficulty sleeping, boredom, questioning authority, and emotional swings may be behaviors exhibited by these students. Emotions may vary wildly as they learn to assimilate a mind and thought process that is developing faster than others of similar age.

It is the challenge of the TAG program to address the social and emotional needs of these children at the time as their academic needs are being met."

This is from www.tcaps.net

I remember when TAG began, there was not the plethora of choice for "brighter" kids that there is now....reading the descriptions, those criteria sound suspiciously like my ADHD oldest son, and my eccentric youngest, who preferred to stay home and memorize the Periodic Table in second and third grade rather than learn 2+2 in public school...neither child tested well though, they were more labeled for their lack of patience than their smarts. Maybe you can relate to this...

Just Thinking--I agree--the TAG programs often miss the kids they need to catch. They catch the types of kids whose brains fit school. Like mine. I do school really well. It doesn't mean I'm better or smarter than anyone else, I just have a brain that fits traditional academics. My eccentric and intelligent son doesn't, and my daughter usually doesn't either.

"Does that mean she's smart and I'm not?"

Well if that isn't enough to break your heart, I don't know what it would take.

I love how you point out that your daughter is still the same kid she was without the TAG camp, and that maybe those kinds of opportunities should be made universal.

Terrific essay, and congrats on the EP.

Ow. and yeah. Not a parent, but completely relate having watched my own parents do that dance with the same self-frustration and hair-pulling :/ Honestly I can tell you from the kid's perspective that those fun classes might be some that she remembers for her whole life- even when everything else is minimum wage and crappy, at some core of her she will 'know' she can do better. I say that as a perfectly middle of the road intelligence person who just tests well with puzzles (and that is not humility speaking). Those classes do make you feel special and do make you expect more from yourself in the long run, and that is it's own gift (and cost).

I agree that all children are gifted and the special arts and science opportunities should be available for all of them.

Jeanette--thanks so much for reading. And yes, it hurt a lot to hear my son say that. I'm grateful I found a great camp for him at the same time. He is smart too.

Julie--I hope it is something she will remember, to know that she is special. I do wish everyone could go. I think all kids rise to what we expect of them.

Miguela--Yes, I wish everyone could go.

Ugh, the separation that happens when we "identify" and label kids. My daughter was invited to a prestigious camp; after her first time away, she asked to not go back. Her reason: 'they want me to be somebody I'm not'.

mypsyche--thanks for reading. I've been struggling with labels ever since my kids hit kindergarten. They can be helpful, they can open doors. They can also be frustrating and maddening, and sometimes limiting.

froggy,

I agree with you that students rise and fall to the level of their teacher's and (family's) expectations of them. I always found that Bandura research inspirational. I know that when you expect your students/children to do well, they will.

It has already been pointed out, but the description you provide of your daughter includes many of the classic characteristics of gifted and talented students.

I think your entire post reinforces the need for differentiated education. There are so many different types of learners and types of intelligence.

Congratulations on the EP!

This is sweet - and sad - and honest. It's hard to parent, especially next to other parents. We try to crete our own family environment where everyone is accepted and safe, but the outside world butts its ugly head in and we need to react in some way. In my last post, I refer a little bit to being a TAG child. The label served as something for my family to mock, but it did leave me with the notion that I was capable and smart. While I understand your sensitivities to other children who are left out, I hesitate to endorse the new culture where every child gets a trophy, etc. I think it waters down the experience of true exceptional intelligence, athletic ability, artistry. When we level the playing field, do we lower expectations and ambition? I don't have the answer, but I do think of these questions as I raise my own children.

Let's have tea and talk about our children!

neilpaul--oh yeah, we've had those discussions too. The "why don't you care about school" talks. Water off a duck's back comes to mind. Thanks for reading. And TAG camp probably is more fun.

Diary--There really aren't any good answers. It's ironic, I agree with you that my daughter fits a lot of "classic" definitions of TAG--a bright kid who goes to her own drum and doesn't fit the mold. But TAG programs usually just find the kids who test well.

Jaime--I know what you mean about watering things down. I'm not in favor of that either. I don't know what the answers are. I remember thinking how "easy" it would be when my kids were out of diapers. Hmm. Seems so long ago now. They aren't putting their fingers in the light sockets any more, but "easy" isn't the word I'd give to parenting teens and pre-teens.

tag em when they're young, follow their progress
as they advance up the Ladder to more Ladders, get cynical,
then get gripes about how mommy and her flash cards
made his/her childhood living hell. that is the fate of tagged kids.

you say: My son is bright and dyslexic. My daughter is bright, artistic, musical, and completely out to lunch...

for now. for now.
not later. late bloomers.
you know this.

nobody with emotional hypersensitivity will fail
unless the lie is taught to them
that it is somehow
not marketable.
they will
be
fine.

Absolutely fabulous post. I relate on so many levels. I live in a city where, it seems, everyone's kid is "highly gifted." My kids are both pretty average academically and I wonder if I hadn't been so distracted with a messy divorce and having to reinvent my life, and I'd been more helicopterish with the flash cards, would they be farther along? You can torture yourself as a mother. In the end, what I want more than anything for both of them is that they're happy, they feel at home in the world, they find something they love to do that will support them, and people to love. Talented and gifted doesn't buy that.

Jane--I'm a bleeding heart commie pinko too--and I'm the one signing up for every advantage I can find. And yes, I wish they all got Shakespeare.

James--I know you're right. I know it. It's why I forget the flash cards. Not just for me. Thanks for reminding me.

pauline--yes... I've often wondered why all the Talented and Gifted kids tend to congregate in the mid to high income neighborhoods. And you're right. I want them to be happy and loved more than I want them to achieve great things.

You have great empathy, but I certainly would do what you did. Life is not fair, for sure.

Thanks Lea. And no, it's not fair.

Ok, so, this may not be popular. But... Every kid is NOT talented, nor gifted, nor motivated, nor interested. They really would NOT all like to dissect a squid and learn Shakespeare. Many would call that "torture" and "ruinng my summer." Yes some others are arts stars and some are sports stars. But there are a whole bunch who just, well, "are." And they're fine. It would be wonderful to expose them to many many things so they can find an interest, a spark, a niche - but camps like you describe - it's not gong to be there. They are for the ones with brains that work "like that", just as audition-in music and/or sports camps are for those who specialize and have some innate talent in those areas. And even the most brilliant may hate it as well. So, please don't fret that everyone can't go to the camp.

All the rest ride bicycles to mini-hipster camp where they learn to weave porkpie hats from wool they shave from organic goats. :)

keri--of course, you're right. It probably would be torture for some kids. But the point is that the door isn't open to those who want it, it's only open to those who test into it. And the tests don't always predict who might want to dissect a squid.

(and where do I sign up for mini hipster camp? My husband won't let me get a goat.)

In a perfect world, ALL kids, regardless of their race or their parent's street address, would be encouraged to excel, cheered on, and given the very best teaching whether they were TAG or otherwise. And all kids should be able to learn and excel at their own pace without ever being made to feel bad about it or about who they are.

Alas, here we are on earth. And education repeatedly keeps getting gypped. And already underpaid teachers have to buy basic sanitary supplies out of pocket.

I call that crazy.
rated

Shiral, I'm with you there. But our national priorities are seriously out of whack. We would rather blow stuff up halfway across the world than fund our children's future. We would rather put people in prison than build and fund adequate schools.

You are doing fine with your kids. Watch what happens when they get older. I bet they kick in at about 17. I know so many people who did.

Thanks for hitting this nail on the head. I was told ( lo these many years ago) in 4th grade that I couldn't take the TAG test because people of my color (brown) just didn't do that. That was from my 4th grade teacher Mrs. Dillion. Thanks, you witch. I believed her then, didn't tell my parents and went on to test into Mensa later in life. I hated Mensa but at least I found out somewhere along the line that I did have a brain and I didn't get it from the Wizard of Oz.

Opportunities have a way of presenting themselves and nobody said life was fair, but you did the mom-thing right and I'm sure will continue to do so.

Linnn--you're right. I think there's a lot to be said for late bloomers. I think our system has a lot of expectations of kids, like expecting 11-year-olds to be mature enough to deal with changing classes and keeping track of stuff in middle school. Some can. Some can't.

Lizzy--that stinks. I can't imagine a teacher saying that to anyone but I know it happens. Good for you for proving them wrong.

Aaargh! I agonized over this when my kids were in school (1 TAG, 1 not). I found a charter high school that didn't have TAG in its vocabulary - all opportunities open to all students, who either rose to the challenge or didn't--so after 8th grade the problem went away in our household.

What I really hated was the sense of entitlement the TAG label created in parents and kids in my competitive neighborhood. It was sickening.

My observation: as kids I know moved on to college, the sense of TAG entitlement and specialness didn't serve them well when they were either dumped into big public colleges where they had to swim with all of the other fish, or when they went off to elite schools where everyone was just as special and twice as smart.

Wow, this was years ago and I still get angry just thinking about it.

Good post on this issue. You did the right thing.

I agree and see it all the time at my school but you did nothing wrong. It is a sad fact of life but still should your child not get to play to prove a point? To whom would you prove it? See I 'm glad you let her go..our 1st graders every year dissect squid and it stinks and they squeal with delight. I bet both of your children enjoyed camp and you did good!

AZ Girl--I think that's what's bothered me so much in the past about the TAG label. In my neighborhood, it's yet another one of the "my kid is more wonderful than yours" discussion points that people like to drop into conversations. And now that one of my kids is on the other side of the fence, I realize it doesn't change anything. She's still the same kid, she's had a door opened for her. And I truly wonder why it was closed in the past. It's not really about this particular day camp, it's about the label that one gets and the other doesn't.

Lunchlady--thanks so much for reading. I only thought for a couple of seconds about saying no before I said yes. It's a door that's been opened, I'll take advantage of it. It just bothers me that there's a door at all. And she loved the squid. She got ink all over her shirt and thought it was hilarious.

Great post and great POV but ultimately I think we all would have made the same decision.

And by the way I liked the way you tagged Indians with Whites and Asians as opposed to the Blacks and Hispanics. I always thought we were tagged in the latter category. Times change I guess.

Interesting post here. I think part of the problem is that TAG has strayed from its origins, as Just Thinking indicated in comments. I was a TAG student in the early '80s and it was geared toward harnessing creativity and sort of...diagonal thinking? As opposed to just learning vertically. Thinking out of the box, if you will. When I entered high school--and, actually, moved from the midwest to the Portland area, so maybe PDX is the problem, ha!--there was a shift from that way of treating TAG to more of the academic treatment. We still did some out-of-the-box stuff but it was more along the lines of progressive education and not stuff geared for students who reason quickly.

Now, part of that was because what's appropriate for a gifted 7-year-old is not what's appropriate for a gifted 15-year-old. But it seemed to me that it was really that one system understood that being "gifted" wasn't so much about being academically strong as it was about the reasoning process. Basically: With the sort of gifted I think demands special education, you can't flash-card your way into it, nor can you get rid of it if you tried. The one year I was in a school system that didn't have a gifted program, I was bored, miserable, and disruptive, racing my way through reading comprehension class and then reading the primers backward because I didn't know what else to do. (Normally I was not a smug little brat, I assure you.) So I'd say part of this is the shifting role that TAG has occupied both in the school system and in the higher-ed entry process and the way parents will grab onto TAG as a line for a kid's resume. I've heard stories of parents making their kids take the test over and over, which is just so heartbreaking to me.

On a more personal level, my mother was on a related line of thought as yours. She would say "every child is gifted" like it was a mantra--and, yes, every child has gifts, and perhaps the term "gifted" to mean a quick reasoner and sharp mind is unfortunate. And, of course, my family was much like yours: I was in the TAG program; my brother, who is plenty smart and was a math whiz whereas I was above average at math but not great at it, was not. So my parents enrolled him in classes that targeted his strengths and interests in order to sort of encourage those areas. But I kept hearing "every child is gifted" as "so don't think you're so special, little lady." And maybe it kept my head from swelling up! It also helped me feel like it was just luck that I had been hand-picked as gifted, that it could have been anyone, and that I shouldn't really think I had special needs. But I *did* have special needs academically, and I'm glad my teachers saw that early on.

I dunno, it's difficult! And it doesn't sound like you're drilling "hold on little lady" into your daughter or anything. But just speaking as someone who has been the "gifted" one in the family, it's not always a piece of cake, and I'd just encourage you to think about--or ask her--what she thinks TAG means, what it signifies to her, etc.

Oh your last line speaks volumes. Your so good.

Great story. I understand your points and ambivalence.

As one who has spent most of my career in higher education, I can tell you that this country, and indeed, this world, has great need of the talents of those who are truly talented and gifted. It is they who will help solve many of our planet's problems (if solutions are indeed possible). We must find a way to help them reach their potential and their goals. Maybe camps are not the way to do it, nor are labels maybe the best path, but great intellect combined with great application of that intellect must be nurtured.

Froggy~ I am afraid that all the accolades I could heap on you and this post would topple the TAG and any other testing charts. You've expressed so much more than the logistics of the system. Just thoughtful and smart and heartfelt sharing here. This should be read in a major publication. (r)

You're a kind soul for thinking about the kids who don't have the opportunities that yours do. As you said, it will probably always be this way. The way of the world as we know it.

Froggy, normally I like to read all the responses before I say anything, but I think it would be counterproductive here. I feel ya.

I was an MGM student in the 3rd grade, way back in 1968. MGM stood for Mentally Gifted Minor. I had to take an IQ test to see if I qualified. I managed at the age of just turned 8 to score 183 on my IQ test. The highest score in the group. WOW!

I cannot tell you how I empathize with your son's dismay. Because of one test, I was now officially the smartest kid in class, maybe the whole school -- and you can bet my 3 older brothers made sure I paid for the distinction, sometimes in blood. Fortunately, there were few other kids that knew of my condition and so only the normal amount of bullies came my way. If word had spread, I dunno, I might not have made it to the 5th grade.

My test score didn't suddenly mean I was really smart -- I'd always been. For me, that was really odd man out. I had perhaps only four of five kids I could really talk to about stuff I was interested in at school. My brothers and sister were not included in this bunch.

Even so, I managed to be a pretty happy kid. I had the Encyclopaedia Brittannica at home and a Webster's Unabridged Dictionary of the English Language to read during breakfast. I can't tell you how many times my Corn Flakes got so soggy they couldn't be eaten, because I'd gotten lost in reading instead of eating.

I agree with you. The TAG activities should be the kinds of activities that any kid should and could be able to do if they expressed interest or showed a talent for something, anything, other than taking the tests that kids now have to endure to ensure the schools keep their Federal Funding.

My only MGM trip that I really liked was a trip to the San Francisco Bay Municipal Water District, where we got to see how water treatment plants work and how clean water was tested, etc. In addition to that, though, they had this HUGE physical model of the entire San Francisco Bay and estuaries and they showed how they can track pollutants and how fast they spread with the model.

Other than that, I can't recall anything that was all that exciting or brain challenging by being an MGM student. Once we made "secret messages" with lemon juice. Whee. For me that was already old news and seemed a waste of time.

I do, however, fit that TAG description, still today. I think you shouldn't worry so much. Kids grow into and out of things beyond just their clothes and shoes, their toys and past times. I think if they're happy and well adjusted, then you should be a happy parent.

Oh, the flashcards? The piano lessons? Screw those. Take them to the Aquarium, the Zoo, the Natural History museum, to the beach so they can play in the sand and collect shells. Have a good time with them and take them to places that can unlock their imagination and creativity without it feeling like you're doing extra credit.

And another poster talked about doing things that make them use their imagination. I never went to camp. Of any kind. Most of my school chums did and they came back and said, "Yeah, it was okay." They didn't sound all that jazzed by the experience.

What I did while they were gone -- they were usually jealous. I went to the pond and caught tadpoles, went hiking in the woods looking for snakes and spiders and stuff like that. I crawled beneath the streets of my home town of Napa, with a flashlight, rope and extra batteries. I took swimming lessons.

They were jealous of my fun and they went to camp. Your kids don't have to feel like they missing a thing. And your son's sense of things being unfair? I don't think that's that big a deal. If it were you treating him unfairly, or if the system excluded him on some other basis that wasn't equally available to him, then yeah, that's unfair. If your daughter gets to do something and he doesn't?

He needs to learn to deal with that sort of disappointment and you're on the front line. I know how hard it is, because my step son knew no end of "that's not fair" whenever someone got something and he didn't. I went out of my way to make things better, but you know what? He was just never satisfied and never ever expressed any shred of gratitude for what he got -- all he could ever see was what he didn't get. I sure wish I could have been there for him when he was an infant instead of stepping into the role of Stepdad when he was nine. What a different man he'd be today, I bet.

Hang in there Froggy and don't let your past geeky lonliness make you do too much for your kids -- more than they're really interested in having (like music lessons, though I think every kid should have the chance to learn to play an instrument, they may not appreciate being forced to do so,) I was a geek then and I'm a geek now. And like you, I didn't find my geeky clique until I went to college.

I think I did okay and it sounds like you did, too. Your kids have an obviously caring mom and I think you'll find that's more important than any other tags you can find for them.

rated.

I remember those days. There is a distinct divide between the gifted and the ordinary, and once you're labeled the adhesive is really strong! I think you have to do what's best for your child, however problematic. You can always work for more inclusion in other ways -- participating within the school district on volunteer parent committees for example, or for non-profit organizations within the community. When I started our humane society junior volunteer program, it was parent/child, but once my children aged out, I acted as the "parent" for a few children whose parents couldn't/wouldn't participate. I think those small things make a difference.

Why don't we do these special programs for all kids? Shouldn't they all get a chance to learn Shakespeare and dissect a squid?

NO!! And here's why. Most of those other kids would be all "eeeeewwww - it's slimy, I'm not cutting into that thing." And "Shakespeare? Eeewww, wasn't that like a hundred years ago, who cares now? I can't understand any of this anyway and it's borrrrrring." And then they'd be all talking to their friends about their new shoes and swimsuits and being all pouty and whiney because why can't they spend summer at the pool and they have to work soooo hard and go to school everrryyy day when it's not summer and they shouldn't have to work in the summmmmerrrr, too, it's just not fairrrrr. And they'd all laugh at your kid for being such a geek.

This is the key in all you wrote: It would have been heaven to be with other geeks like me

Here's one of the stories from my life: One day in high school, maybe 11th grade, my second daughter came home with a report card and a C in some science class. My response was sort of, "WTF?" She had been moved out of the accelerated class (I don't remember what it was called, the smart class) that year because of her grades. In an easier class shouldn't her grade have been better? She complained that she needed to go back to the smart class, she couldn't stand where she was so she just zoned out, the teacher gave all her attention to the cheerleaders, no one did any science in that class anyway and I HAD to go to the teacher and get her back in the smart class.

I was skepitcal. I suggested that she take the next semester to get her grades up and we'd work on changing classes next year. She continued to insist and before I knew it I was walking into her science classroom for a meeting with the teacher. (That daughter always was and always will be way smarter than I and a better negotiator.) So the teacher says to me, "Oh, you're that daughter's mother! Yeah, she should be in the smart class."

Turns out the teacher spent most of her time keeping order in that class and saw my daughter zoning out. Zip, zip, she went right back to the smart class. With her friends. Grades magically became A's.

Now, she is probably around your age and I know things have changed since then. The people around us were like the people around you, Ivies, PhD's, blah blah blah, but in DC. We weren't pushing like they do now. I remember having conversations early on with other parents along the lines of recognizing our children had special needs just as much as the kids with learning disabilities and we had to advocate for them. Often the really bright kids languished in school. I, myself, didn't learn to study until I went back to college at age 30. It was a skill I hadn't needed until the last year or two of high school, either it had come to me without effort or I was able to fake it easily. Suddenly it all came crashing down on me and I blew many years of schooling. I was determined my own kids wouldn't make the same mistake and was thrilled when their second elementary school principal told a parents' group that our kids might get straight A's once. After that their work would get harder. That system didn't accept that daughter into what passed for their gifted system in middle school because she wasn't neat with perfect handwriting.

My kids had plenty of opportunities, plenty of help other kids didn't but there were also many, many kids with more opportunity who didn't do as well in school as they did, didn't care as much, didn't love it as much. (One girl who wasn't even in the top academic elite didn't apply to a single safety colelge, only ivies and didn't get accepted anywhere. So she went to community college for a semester and then did the very same thing all over again. My kids were so sympathetic I had to suppress my scorn.)

I was always very egalitarian with them. My first daughter learned as slowly as I did that this wasn't always the best thing. After college (in her barrista phase - she was an English major) she found she had friends who didn't understand why she read books for entertainment - I mean serious books - and had no interest in intellectual pursuits. To the contrary, they scorned them. We had several long conversations about being who she was and seeking friends with interests similar to hers. It might have been better for her to have learned this lesson earlier and I thought she had.

Different people have different brains and need different things.

I'm sorry this is so long and rambling, it's a subject that's been important to me, you're nearing the end of your comments lifecycle (congrats on the EP) and I see there are some long comments. Tomorrow I'll read them!

Moana--In my neighborhood, Indian families always have one engineer, sometimes two, so they tend to be academically-driven, medium income, highly educated. So where I live, Indians, Asians, and whites tend to occupy the same categories.

Autumn, I can't imagine parents making their kids take the test over and over. That's just cruel. I like your mother's mantra of "every child is gifted" and I think I'll steal it.

Algis--thanks so much. You are very kind.

Mary--thanks for your perspective from higher ed. It is hard to know how to nurture truly original thinking and creativity, especially when you have to pass (yet another) standardized test to get the opportunity to think creatively. I don't know if camp is it. I didn't turn it down, and she's certainly having fun, but I'm still skeptical of the process.

dirndl skirt--thanks so much for the kind words. I actually think of you now and again, and your career in the arts, and I wonder if my quirky and creative daughter could do that some day too. It's nice knowing it can be done.

Erica K--it is sad. I wish it wasn't. I wish all kids could have what mine do, but they don't. (Did I mention I'm a bleeding-heart liberal?)

dunnite owl--thanks so much for your reply. I agree about so much, like screw the flash cards and take them to the beach. That's what I've tried to do--have lots of unstructured time when they can just hang out and find their own things to do (this week of camp is only one in the summer, the rest is a lot of hanging around). And TAG is just a label, it's a door, that's all. It's easy to get hung up on.

Bellwether--I agree that the adhesive is sticky! It's hard to take off. Good for you for volunteering... I do too and it's a whole 'nother post which I may write soon. Good for you for volunteering for those kids who have parents who can't or won't. Those are the kids I worry about, not mine who have someone keeping up with them (me). I worry about the ones who are on their own.

nerd cred--excellent points, all of them. I agree that everyone's brains work differently, and I'm hoping my kids will find their way somehow or another. I guess the whole TAG thing just has me a bit flummoxed. Now that my kid is allowed in the club, it makes me think the walls are kind of arbitrary. And yes, I know exactly those kids who would say "ewww" to a squid and complain about Shakespeare. (Too bad for them.)

Intellectual talent deserves to be cultivated. Is the writer just as upset that not every kid gets to go to football camp?

Not that... just that I could sign my kid up for football camp if I wanted to. The door is open. In this one, it's shut in a kind of arbitrary way.