I keep hoping, and waiting, for the American Medical Association to declare procrastination a disease and to accord it a proper and legitimate place in the annals of medicine. I’d even settle for psychiatric institutions to classify it a behavioral problem with a possible chemical imbalance in the brain worthy of research and medication.

With a legitimate stamp of abnormal approval, procrastinators would then be eligible to petition the government for equal-right status. This silent disease would be out of the closet once-and-for-all. Support groups and clubs could form: Parents of Procrastinators. Television specials: “I Was the Child of a Procrastinator.”

Procrastination has biblical roots, I believe; and, instead of being shunned, it should be seen as a traditional, even evangelical, trait. Why, after all, seven days to create the world? One would think God could have done it in one. And roaming around the desert for 40 years to find a Promised Land is every procrastinator’s dream of putting off anything and everything.

But one should not confuse indolence or laziness with procrastination. I often tell people that I work best under pressure. It sounds so corporate. I have literally scrubbed every pot and pan I own to avoid grading a stack of papers. Procrastination takes a lot of work.

Procrastination has many symptoms, anxiety being one. In many ways, we are addicted to time the way gamblers are to money or alcoholics to liquor. We love time. Why waste it doing something we don’t want to? Our motto is “If you can do it tomorrow, why do it today?”

I also believe there is an inherent link between creativity and procrastination. “Time on Task” is not our maxim. We tend to abhor the mundane and the tedious. I haven’t balanced a checkbook in decades. It’s against my creative, intuitive nature. I now do it by Karma. And it mostly works.

Both government and corporate America discriminate openly against procrastinators. It is because of us that the term “late fee” was coined. It is my understanding that credit card companies now actively solicit procrastinators to take advantage of their weakness. They rake in billions off of our infirmity. I want a Senate investigation. A class-action law suit.

As a life-long procrastinator, I refuse to feel a sense of shame or guilt. I once watched a television lecture about procrastination that even spelled out the steps to “cure” it. Oh, I was so excited! I watched it twice and wrote down all the major points. I even typed them up and hung them in a prominent spot where I could see them daily.

But I am who I am. Eventually it came down. Stored away and forgotten. Some other day, perhaps.

People are always apt to point out traits of highly successful people. Procrastination is not one of them. But successful people can afford to pay people to do all the things they usually procrastinate about. And while people are quick to see the vice in procrastination, isn’t retirement just a euphemism to procrastinate daily until death?

Every procrastinator’s worst nightmare is April 15. I am already planning what things need to be done to avoid doing what should be done. Closets need to be cleaned and organized. Not to mention the car. I have paintings to begin. Window designs to finally get down on paper.

In many ways, procrastinators are essentially optimists. There is always tomorrow…