Füsun A.



Montréal, CANADA
January 12
Freelance Writer - jack of all genres;master of none.
warm and genuine
I divorced my full time career of teaching after 25 years, because meanwhile I fell in love with freelance writing. Ever since, I decided to legitimize my ten-year fling which started in the new millennium. Author of: "WILL OF MY OWN - A Memoir" Available at all major book outlets. For a preview please visit: http://www.dictionmatters.com/


JUNE 25, 2012 10:00AM


Rate: 66 Flag




He doesn't sleep in my bed like my first love did. I do wait for a while anticipating his warm body jump in and snuggle next to mine. Sometimes he comes by and we exchange affection in the late hours of the night. When he feels he is satisfied, he leaves – just as he came – unceremoniously, unannounced. I've grown to accept that it's no use waiting, so I close my eyes and try to fall asleep – remembering him.

First loves are special. Even long after they leave us, we betray our present ones with the remembrance of our first touch, first wet kiss, first eye contact. My heart contracts momentarily with the memory of his beautiful face. He was my boy. We were a team – he and I. He never left me alone – when I wrote, when I cooked, when I read. He met me at the door every time I came home, after seeing me off at the bay window when I went away. Like a marble lion at the gate, he stood guard when I took my bath, and then the evenings were ours. But then, he knew me as his only mother since he was barely six months old when I held him in my arms. We weathered the biggest storm of our life together in 2008 – we had a history. He adjusted well to becoming a single-parent cat.

I don’t know about OSman. By the time fate introduced us, he was already two years plus. His history is a mystery to me. No one else knows much either – except that he was found wandering, cold and hungry on Christmas eve, around a convenience store. I'm sure he was frightened too; who wouldn't be? No one claimed him during three weeks he stayed in the shelter, not very sociable.

“Rather quiet and introverted, he prefers hiding under chairs or on top of cabinets,” I was told. So he really needed to get out of there and find a home. And I, to love again. The invisible hand which had led my first love to me, pointed me to OSman this time.

I believe in serendipity. My life is full of serendipitous tales. I am still learning, however, not to project my experiences, and expect similar behavior from OSman. He was a frightened feline who jumped up when I turned on the music, or punched in the alarm code at night – which used to be a cue for ninni time, and I'd always be greeted at the bedroom door.

He was terrified of the pet cage in which he had to travel four times already since entering my life and having to visit a cat doctor. Exposing him to two different antibiotics didn't make me too popular with him either. He is very bright, though, as he knows the exact time to approach me to gain favors, for which he had started leaving surprises around the house. I was assured that he was house trained.

I took that as a sign to consult our cat doctor who suggested that he may have gastrointestinal problems. We tried three special formulas but didn’t care for any. OSman appeared to be more of a McDonald's burgers and chips sort of a fellow, whose bad diet had caused intestinal inflammation and incontinence. I was bemused by the irony of it. . . here I had a preteen in human years, whom I was trying to toilet train all over!

My baby finally accepted one last kind of food available, and he may have to take Prednisone. He has been eating normally for a year now, and sleeping a lot wherever he fancies. He learned his coordinates, memorized sounds and interpreted his new home's history through his little nose. He has picked a corner in the hall outside my room where he prefers to sleep. Not with me but within my vision. He has a comfortable cushion. After he gets his belly rubbed and his ears scratched to his satisfaction, he jumps off my bed and saunters to his own, on his cat paws.

As the little jingle on his collar bids me goodnight, I bid him the same.

"Night, night, OSman. Sleep well my darling. Mommy loves you."

OSman cerceveli




Füsun Atalay ~ Copyright © Will of my Own - 2012


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We're still breathing. :o)
I am told that animals come to us (and with their problems) not so much because they need us-which they do - but because we need them. I, too have a little friend with similar issues, which we happily resolved with diet and giving him a room (our bedroom) all for his own. Secure and cured of his illness, he misbehaves no more. He is serene... But when there is a loud noise, his background horrors, at which we can only guess, come back, and he hides deep, till his own All Clear. OSman is gorgeous, by the way!
Are you sure that's not Tink?

@Spike - Your special friend sounds like mine. I don't know his past, but he needed a very secure home which he found with me fortunately.
@ Cheshire - Indeed they are.
@ Sky - Tink? No way! :o)
Of course my TabbyCat, Ms Miryam Gumdrops, assumes I am "staff", but I adore her anyway.
What a handsome fellow he is! And what a charming love story!
Please give him my best, along with a good ear scritch from his "Auntie PW".


PS The 4 Hour Feed has gone away.
I recommend we all head for Lezlie's if we haven't already been and rate her post till it hits the "Most Viewed" status.

Cats are so different. I love them so much but have terrible allergies just terrible so I can no longer even go somewhere that has a cat.
What a precious... He loves you lots.. just in his own wee way..:)

Hugs to you both.
I have a cat with GI problems. He's on special $25 a bag cat food, and he still throws it up. Maybe because he supplements his diet with chipmunks and grass.
What a beautiful boy!! I love my kitties too. My cat Quincy is like your OSman, follows me from room to room, and rests his paws on me when we sit on the sofa to watch TV and gives me love bites. xo
@Jonathan- As they say, we don't keep our pets, they keep us.
@PW - OSman thanks for his ear scratches and all the love from Auntie PW.
@Linda- Sorry for your allergies, my daughter is allergic to cats too.
@Mary - Thanks for dropping by.
@Con- OSman's food is very costly as well, but I don't let him out. He was declawed when I got him.
@Erica- Oh, those love bites! Aren't they precious?
You have a heart as big as the great outdoors.
Nice looking cat you've got there.
Gorgeous... and touching.
Just like people, they each have a unique "personality." Isn't it upsetting when they are ailing and we can't figure out why?

So glad to read this update. He's gorgeous and this is a romantic tale. The tag about this maybe being your last past filled me with ANXIETY.
@Scanner- So do you, my friend.
@bobbot- Thank you. Good to see you.
@Princess- He's grown on me a lot.
@Lezlie - Very true. They have mouths but cannot tell us what ails them.
@Fernsy - I hope it's not the last. I was thinking if OS closes down, it may be the last. But we keep hoping, dear.
Kudos to you for taking in OSman. We're on our third rescue dog, and have found they all have issues of one kind or another based on their life experiences. We still badly miss our first two, especially Jo Cocker.
Fusun, what a sweetheart you are!
I'm glad OS is still alive today -- maybe it's all Kerry's way of teaching us to live in the moment : )
OSman is a beautiful cat, those eyes!
-- I can't remember what color your last cat was, was s/he orange? My old orange cats, Spicey and then Mr. Magoo, were more aloof than other cats I've had until our newest cat, Santa Paws, named by Youngest. She is mostly orange also, and was not given much affection before we got her -- only now at a year and a half later will she be remotely cuddly. OSman may just be that way, but he clearly loves you if he sleeps by your door to keep you sight, what cat does that? I find that just adorable...he may warm up even more once you've had him longer than two years and his past is more remote. I hope so, for you are a dear softy.
(ps -- every black cat I've ever had has been neurotic with the softest fur and very little meowing too -- has there been a study of cat personalities by coat color?? : ))
: )
OSman is a beautiful boy! I have a cat named Little Guy who follows me everywhere. Even though I have five cats I love, he makes sure he's first in line with me! I so relate to your first love. I love them all so much, but I still miss my first kitty Charlotte who died a couple of years ago at 18 years old.

I hope this isn't your last post! Are you going to join the Facebook Orphans just in case?
He looks healthy and happy. I do love those orange guys...
He learned his coordinates, memorized sounds and interpreted his new home's history through his little nose....

so then: she is there.
what this means to the most uncanny beast in God's creation,
the cat,
is unknown but..
one must assume.
@Boanarges- I miss Selim too and I hope OSman lives longer.
@Just Thinking - You can see pictures of my first cat here . I have a soft spot for orange tabbys. Thank you for your nice wishes. I'd imagine there must've been studies on cat personalities. :o)
@Joanne: I hope so too. I am on OrphansofOpenSalon on FB. Thanks. I know your love of cats.
@Islandtime - Nice to see you. I love them orange kitties too!
@James - Yup, but it's a HE. He has arrived and finds his way around. Knock, knock - on wood.
Fusun, Selim's photos are so adorable, I see why you miss him.
...and there goes my 'aloof orange cats' theory...
I have a fondness for those orange tabbies too -- I officially amend my theory: those orange cats are the smartest! : )
"“Rather quiet and introverted, he prefers hiding under chairs or on top of cabinets,” I was told.

ME TOO!! ME TOO!!! Except I hide under the bed.....:D

RATED!! But of course....
Osman is gorgeous and I'm sad to hear of his fears. I really understand what you're saying here. My little Haley has had too many ups and downs and started her life as feral. She doesn't yet tolerate being carried, but we are well suited. The wildness in her remains and she has fears I don't understand but like you, I honor her need for space. She won't sleep with me or sit on me but will sit at my feet. The former owner had a small dog so Haley taught me to play tag with her as we chase each other in and out of rooms. She has two beds, a pedestal and a comforter she favored on the back of the sofa. It has taken almost 5 years but now if she is on one of her beds I can pet her without being bit.

I admit I miss the closeness I had with Mimi cat but I love Haley and in her reserved way, she loves me. I have been blessed because as I honored her boundaries knowing they came from hard times, I've learned to set some for myself and honor my needs as being valid too. She's the first pet I've had that doesn't need anything and it's freeing not to be needed. It was only this year that I realized I had the right girl for me. I bet you have exactly the right boy for you.
Good looking cat you got there. When we got our littlest kitty (and her sister), she was a paranoid kitten. It took awhile, but she finally learned that petting feels good. Years later she snuggles on the couch or on the bed. However, only on her terms. The paranoia hasn't completely left.
Fusun, a beauty both in images and words. I strongly believe in fate, and then on character and the building of love. Fate has its work in here OS as well, and we all meet and like each other by as you wrote

""By the time fate introduced us...""

I am wishing we will all be here in OShome again...

Thank you Fusun, so glad to meet and read you !!!!
I love seeing photos of OSman, he looks so much like my Reggie w/ the white front and the golden eyes. My experience has been just the opposite, my first cat, Ziti was a stray who found his way to our yard and stayed out there most of the time, he only came in for food and a little affection. Reggie, who came from the local shelter, is a snugly, affectionate, boy who loves attention and is my lap the minute I sit down. They all have different personalities but we love them just the same.
Awww. He is adorable! Love how you write about him - so affectionately.
@ Tink - I thought you'd understand, but OSman cannot go under the bed - there's no oprning, thankfully. :o)

@ Doris - Each pet has an individuality we must get used to. We miss the ones we lose dearly, but the ones we have are sent to us for a reason as well. In a was I like the feeling of " it's freeing not to be needed" as much. OSman is more of an independent and loner cat. But he is affectionate when he wants my company.

@ Stim - Your kitty and her sister soundlike mine. The paranoia may never leave; it lessens. Who knows what the poor animals have gone through to get them that way. We are lucky they found us and make our lives richer with their presence.
@ Stathi - The feelings are mutual. Thank you for your kind words, and I sincerely hope that our wishes about OS will come true.
Approriate name for christening him here. ;-)
I always had a special place in my heart for Cats! Oh if I could only be the cat women...but you got there first FusunA. Have a great summer and more.

Awww....I love this, a portrait of a pet filled with such affection but at the same time such honesty. Being a pet owner is never easy, and cats rarely do exactly as we wish, but you show here a perfect devotion, respect, and love. You're a model pet owner, and OSman sounds like a great cat.
Awwwww....so kewt! Scritchy scratchy, Osman.

BTW, when crushing my mom's pills in her pill crusher, the light bulb went on, and I tried same with her cat's high blood pressure pills. Stirred into a spoonful of delicious canned salmon kitty food, he thought he'd scored a delightful treat. For once, I was smarter than a cat!
Handsome cat
I love cats, sadly can’t be around them I get so sick
Lovely read
:) hey good kitty, you have a momma that loves you lucky man
Fusun, is this an allegory by chance? Is OSman OS in this story? Charming in any case. And Algis's graphics (above) have outdone themselves.
Love it. My cat went missing a couple weeks ago. I mourned bitterly. Then, after posting flyers in the neighborhood, she came back even fatter and smelling like someones else's house. I took her back anyway. Love of felines is unconditional.
@ Shutterbug - I like the names you gave your pets. It's true how each has a different personality.

@Trudy - Thank you. OSman is an affection bug.

@ Provemewrong - I won't. OSman is a Turkish name, but there's a story behind naming him just that.

@ Algis - I know how much you love cats. Pistachio in Bitez? You have a great summer too, my friend!

@ Alysa - Thanks. As a cat owner, you know we do our best to keep our babies happy and healthy. :o)

@ Greenheron - That is an excellent idea! I hope I won't need it, but I'll remember it if I ever do. Thanks for dropping by and have a wonderful summer.

@ M.C.S. - Thanks. I'm sorry that you get sick around cats. They do make good company.

@ Julie - Thank you, my dear. My son and daughter do regard him as their "Bro". :o)

@ Daniel - No allegory. OSman is the answer to a sad story which I lived through with my OS friends and their support in 2010. Osman is also a Turkish name, so I decided to capitalize the first two letters of his name to honor both. Algis certainly did outdo himself with his graphics ! Thanks for dropping by.

@ Maureen - I cracked up reading about your cat's return "fatter and smelling of other people's home". There's a cat in my neighborhood who comes to the door and I'm torn between ignoring him and feeding him. I'm glad yours came back though.
LOVE ME SOME KITTIES. He is beautiful!!!! (AND he DOES look like Tink, but I don't think Tink is allowed to leave the country, let alone the state.)
Esteemed Colleague:

I am not a pet person, but you won my heart with this one. Well done!
Funny how they're so different. My cat that looks like yours is more independent than the others. He disappeared over the weekend because I had visitors. Many days he sleeps in the attic of the garage where no other cat has ventured. He doesn't come to bed with me, but often comes in the middle of the night and claims the behind-the-knees area. He doesn't care for a lot of affection, but every once in a while leaps onto my lap (and he's BIG) and demands some concentrated attention. But since I have several, there's very few nights that nobody comes to bed with me...
What a beautiful Dude. I'm so glad you found each other!
What a beautiful Dude. I'm so glad you found each other!
Such a handsome boy...I know what you mean when mine come to snuggle at night I feel for them. I move over to make room and sometimes I even turn my light on so they can see each other under the blanket so they can fit together as brothers should. I seem to sleep better. I really enjoyed reading this...
@ Amy - You're so funy! Tink's not allowed to leave the country? I'm sure dffhij dffhij or mary lin will be right unto him! =o)

@ Esteemed Colleague - Not a pet person? OSman would probably change your mind. Thank you for your kind visit.

@ Myriad - Lucky you! You always have a warm, furry friend in bed, eh?

@ Eva T. - Thank you. I feel blessed that we foud each other too.

@ Lunchlady- Cats do have a calming effect on people - often. You are always kind with them too. I remember reading all that you've done to feed the feral cats around the school yard. You\re such an angel.
His white gloves and boots are adorable.
Nothing like a red head ... what a lover, and what a lucky kitteh.
Oh Fusun, he is lovely! He'll warm up in time, he will surprise you some morning by waking you up. i had a feral cat that did thaat after 5 years!
I want to reach right through the screen and rub that irresistible cat tummy. OSman is a very handsome, lucky cat. Apparently, he's starting to realize it, Fusun!

Rated with an ear and chin scritch for OSman from me!
Those orange kitties are suppose to be more affectionate by nature I read somewhere. He's a handsome fella.
He's beautiful in every way. I love having a cat in my life even though he escaped last night and I spent all morning trying to coax him back inside.
Fusun, perfect timing for this great story on OSman to appear yesterday! It looks like he is thriving in a huge way and from one cat person to another I say "thank you!"
He really is beautiful. I love that each animal like humans have their own personality./r
[r] Fusun, I so relate as a fellow cat woman! well done! I have lost two precious cats so far and it broke my heart to lose them. Such an intimate and special relationship. When they pass on no one can adequately grieve with us, except maybe a fellow cat sibling. I do have one now, and he does his best and I cherish him but the differences in specialness of his sister does haunt my heart at times, not unloyal to him, just wanting the gifts of both, as your heart is haunted by your lost cat love.

Better to have loved them and lost as they say. Glad OSman is there for you and you for him.

glad I caught this!

best, libby
He has such nice amber eyes to go with his coat. I'm a dog person but I could change my mind. ;-) r
I love this post and learning about your OSman. I have never been able to have a cat, due to allergies, but think they are wonderful and beautiful and like reading about other people's cats and also seeing their beautiful photos. Thank you for sharing!
I believe my animals have been sent to me specifically to help me through unique life situations. When I need a lot of "paws on" affection and dedication, they were/are in my face. When I need to get on my feet and carry on, they lead the way out the door into the world.
he looks very much like my cat but has no white. orange cats are very affectionate
Lovely. Beautiful cat. I have adopted four this past year and you've inspired me to write about each one.
We have a cat-centric abode as well. Cats like ours know they have it good.
What a handsome fellow; he must have you wrapped around his impeccably white, furry paws. R