I say unto you --I had to do this as an exercise years ago, and it was grave fun. What have you to say, my flock? Do we have any spontaneous sermonettes to add?

“You have heard it said that it is a good and worthy thing to volunteer for a nonprofit organization but I say to you if it is only to enhance your resume and not out of genuine concern for those you are “helping” then they will likely not benefit from your empty actions and you will end up with a great job and an empty heart.

You have heard it said that a man shall buy his wife diamonds which are a girl’s best friend and take her to candlelit dinners and gaze into her eyes but I say to you if you have not heard her through her tears and loved her when she’s ugly and disheveled you have not truly loved at all and when all is said and done you will have diamonds and candles and no warmth of human flesh and no body beside you when you sleep.

You have heard it said that parents should love their children and guide them in the pursuit of perfection but I say to you if you have not shown your children how to love imperfection then they will be without love for the world as it is and themselves as they are and they will grow up in despair and die in grief.

You have heard it said that good taste is admirable but I say to you if you lack the courage to admit less elevated tastes you shall find yourself surrounded by people just like yourself and the conversations will echo with emptiness and be competitions and everyone will wear layers of armor lest they be discovered for who they truly are.  

You have heard it said that it oils the wheels of society to do and say what is expected and not rock the boat but I say to you if all that you say and all that you do is mere lip service to an order you believe supports you than you will wake up one day to find the ground gone beneath your feet and your mouth in the shape of a scream. "