Gail Walter

Shall I say what I mean?
MARCH 2, 2010 12:14AM

Seventeen: Under The Bed

 

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 We were both seventeen, both the eldest child in our respective families and both careering towards one another with a kind of cosmic momentum that we were at first quite unaware of.

When my friend Susan told me she had another crush, this time, on a new boy at… Read full post »

This groundbreaking interview took place over three days on the careworn green sofa in the  livingroom of the home where GW lives and writes. The interviewer is the esteemed Salman Rushdie. The following is a gently edited version.

Interviewer: You were about to tell us when you started to… Read full post »

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I didn't want to do this. She forced me. She said 'that piece of crap house' again. I thought she was talking to me. I thought she was calling my name, challenging me. So here I am.

Above is my piece of even crappier house. This was the one we could… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 5, 2010 3:07PM

Losing My Mind In Toronto

I have been trying not to think about it. I can forget everything else, but this, this just keeps on cycling round and round my brain. Sometimes it seems to be the only thing there. What if? What if I? No I won’t finish the thought. I am full of fear.… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 3, 2010 10:28AM

In The Dark

My dad is sitting there in the dark, still, absolutely still, like a part of the furniture. I don’t see him at first. I’m trying to feel my way without banging into anything. It’s late and I don’t want to wake anyone.

I don’t know what makes me stare into… Read full post »

JANUARY 23, 2010 4:52PM

Where The Wild Things Really Are

 Scenes From A Long Marriage -- Part 3

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When you’re young you’re more immortal right; immortality measured on a continuum from bulletproof to just a tinge.

I thought so when I got the job: get thee on a very exclusive safari for 7 days. Take thee upon thy nubile… Read full post »

JANUARY 20, 2010 5:45PM

The Empty House Of Me

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I have thought about what an empty house feels like, when it has been full. Like an empty stomach, growling in places. There is such a silence.

It made me think of emptiness, this feeling. I didn’t want to. It was enough that I was being in it without… Read full post »

JANUARY 17, 2010 12:15AM

What's The Matter With You?

Here’s what I told my daughter about Thailand.

It smells of jasmine, I said. Dreamily.

Mom, she said, three months later when we met at her uncle’s expat compound in Bangkok,

“It smells of poop”.

Thailand: poop and jasmine. It took awhile to process that. I’m embarras… Read full post »

Running Away…And Towards A Wedding

Part 1 is here

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We tried dancing, but we both led. This meant we needed a morning wedding where everyone stayed in their seats, a sort of garden party with the kind of restrained sophistication that… Read full post »

JANUARY 14, 2010 12:34PM

Halong Jasmine 'Junk'

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I’m trying to conjure visions of Halong Bay hundreds of years ago, even decades, before tourism got it. I think I glimpsed it tonight when we motored way beyond the madding crowd and floated, blessedly alone, past island after fantastical island thick with green and secrets.

I could st… Read full post »

engagement color

When everything was fixed. See miniscule ring on wedding finger.

In the beginning…

 I’m 52, I’ve been married since I was 20, same man, same marriage, same me. I got married five years after we fell in love despite my parents’ outspoken objections and despite th… Read full post »

JANUARY 3, 2010 6:34PM

My Naked Parent Problem

Repost (by request) 

Parents. We all had them. I was born to a pair myself. I came from a conventional family, whatever that is. My dad, a journalist, devoted himself to his work and my mother concentrated on bringing up what she thought of as three budding “Shirley Temples”.

We… Read full post »

JANUARY 2, 2010 9:33PM

Thin Friends With Clothes

I was never one to socialize en masse, one or two good friends was all I needed. In fact, one is what I had…right through high school. That’s five years where I come from.

When I think about Susan, hmmm… yes, what do I think? Well, firstly, and inadvertently I… Read full post »

DECEMBER 22, 2009 8:23PM

To My Children On Sanity

…And the possibility of peace

Anxiety is often the result of trying to hold something down, trying to suppress it. Imagine using both your hands and all your strength to keep something that you imagine is unacceptable in its box. The more you push down, the… Read full post »

DECEMBER 15, 2009 2:05PM

Goodnight My Magical World

I am looking at the things on my bedside table before I go to sleep in that poignant time when I don’t want to go to bed. I want to move around and treasure everything in the lamplight and the silence of being alone after everyone else is sleeping.

I… Read full post »

DECEMBER 14, 2009 3:30PM

The Little Girl Who Saved The World

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Sometimes she didn’t mind it when no friends came. She had a bright orange plastic record with the soundtrack from The Music Man. She’d march round and round the living room chanting “76 Trombones in the hit parade”. She loved the sound of the deep masculinRead full post »

DECEMBER 11, 2009 4:52PM

How Fragile It All Is

I remember being sick in that bedroom with the jewel casket bay windows looking out onto the garden.

I remember the raw sound of my daughter’s voice from the bottom of the garden. The way it sounded like keening, like the sound of mortality. I could hear death, loss. I… Read full post »

DECEMBER 3, 2009 6:56PM

I'm Throwing the Mouse Away

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That’s it, I’m done. This mouse has been with me for too long. Don’t get me wrong, I‘m not against the small furry ones that sneak into my home in winter and urinate in the cupboard under the sink, not those cute, Disneyish things. I’m talking about… Read full post »

DECEMBER 2, 2009 9:38PM

Hanoi: Miracle At The Lake

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I was feeling a little sorry for myself, a little lonely as I watched the moon rise over the Hoan Kiem Lake this steamy Wednesday evening. It wasn’t anything specific, nor too extreme, more a lostness, a kind of ennui. Most travelers have it some time or another. You’re watching… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 23, 2009 10:49PM

Where The Driven Go - Repost with pic

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To hell it is, I think... 

Marriot has proudly launched a new advertising campaign: wwwforthedriven.com.

I want to see the meeting where this slogan was approved. I want to see the people round the conference table, what they were wearing, what their facial expressions were,

Read full post »
NOVEMBER 9, 2009 10:33AM

Not a popular girl

In grade school the teacher called my mom to class:

‘It’s almost like she’s not really with us.’

There were these layers of thick gauze between me and my world, I could hardly make it out. I didn’t care to, not really. The gauze was white and quiet. It… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 6, 2009 4:16PM

The Great Unshop

Today I head to the mall to make some money, spending in reverse. Unshopping smacks of forgiveness. It gives me a chance to rescind, to regret and go back and make good.

Everywhere I go today will put money back on my credit card in return for something I… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 3, 2009 3:53PM

Here we go again: The Mystery...

It's probably not worth the effort but I'm doing it again; reposting this. It got lost. Is that where the mystery went?

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Where Did the Mystery Go?

In the great clamor of our efforts to communicate I think we made a mistake --a really big one. We tookRead full post »

OCTOBER 21, 2009 1:29PM

Waking Up Again

 

I’m having a really difficult time doing what I say I’m going to do. Not for others, I’m still relatively on track with that. Not perfect, far from it, but better than I am with myself. I never do what I promise myself.

Me and myself, we’re always… Read full post »

OCTOBER 20, 2009 12:15AM

Help I'm in China! Repost

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Your email found me here in deepest China where even an innocent chicken can be transformed into your worst nightmare. Am still in recovery from the light exotic Thai stir-fry I thought I ordered, desperately, in a "western" restaurant that arrived sinister, oily, yellow and boiled. Ugh.

We hRead full post »