Sometimes, I want to believe, our children need to blame someone. When they blame us it is because they know we will forgive them someday when they ask us to.
At least that is what I want to believe....Someday my daughter may forgive me...

I try to find forgiveness and compassion all the time..
That is all you can do.
rated with hugs

That's a heavy riff. Children's recriminations are especially painful because as parents we have our own list of mistakes we made so every accusation FEELS true - but keep in mind that's not always the case.

Actually, "hiding" is another form of "flight," that is "fleeing to a hiding place." Your switch to "compassion" is a true alternative: not putting your dukes up, not running away, but turning TOWARD the person who seems to want to hurt you and listening with as much of a loving heart as you can muster. This is very very hard to do. But worth it, and most likely the only way to heal, either your own hurt or the relationship (no guarantees though). We also need to remember that "our children are not our children" (Gibran); that is, they are themselves and come from a myriad of places and influences. Their feelings toward us may have, oddly enough, nothing to do with us. Compassion would really be a feat to extend to someone who is all snarled up - about us. (And it might not be appreciated!) Love this post.

Lunchlady 2, Linda, Bellwether, Alison: With our children we don't have a choice. There is no purpose in fighting, and no place to run or hide. They are in pain, and all we can offer is compassion, which they may not want. Children have unique responses -- there is no way we could know how they will respond to anything we say or do. I read somewhere that NO parent gets up in the morning and thinks "how can I make my child miserable today?" It just happens. So, we need our own compassion, too. That's one thing that works well with OS.