exercise junkie, married to the best alien on Earth, four grandchildren, ornery dog who is not house-trained, if it's legal, I've probably done it -- for pay


Geezerchick's Links
Nobody wanted the job.  

I threw down the gauntlet.  I’ve given two speeches about why I think the Pledge of Allegiance is unpatriotic, untrue, and a violation of free speech when it is coerced.  

Other Toastmasters members have thanked me for my courage in stating my opinion,… Read full post »
JUNE 27, 2011 11:46AM

My Mother Fell for a Scam

My 88-year-old mother enters sweepstakes, trying to win money to pay tuition for my sister’s youngest daughter to go to college.  That’s sweet and harmless and only costs a few stamps. In theory somebody might win one of these sweepstakes. Maybe even my mother.  It’s not a… Read full post »
Young PT was showing me a safer way to do Circus Bears – an exercise where I balance on my shins on top of a balance ball.  He says he’s seen a man stand on a balance ball and catch a medicine ball without wobbling.  He also knows my left leg… Read full post »
JUNE 21, 2011 2:34PM

Yoga With My New Hip

Yoga has become such a part of my life that I’ve missed it dearly for the past 4 months.  One month because I really couldn’t do it with my old hip joint. 3 months because my surgeon restricted my range of motion so I wouldn’t dislocate the new hip gadgetry. He’d… Read full post »
JUNE 15, 2011 1:16PM

Look – No Hands!

I feel like a two-year-old.  My latest trick is walking down stairs without holding the banister.

This has been a 3 month long project.  Right after the hip replacement surgery, the hospital therapists instructed me to use a technique called “step-to” in which going down stairs… Read full post »
JUNE 13, 2011 11:46AM

I’ve Become a Writing Snob

I just took a web class on writing dialogue.

It’s an email class. The teacher doesn’t read any of the assignments, but the other students can.  Students post their writing on a web forum site and for the final assignment, they are supposed to give each other feedback. The feedback… Read full post »
JUNE 7, 2011 3:55PM

Swimming With My New Hip

First of all, I now look like one of Frankenstein’s monsters when I wear my swimming suit. I’ve got a scar across my left collar bone and another one on the front of my left thigh.  This is all that shows when I wear my one-piece modest swimming suit.  But so… Read full post »
JUNE 1, 2011 11:31AM

Taking a Break from Exercise

The day after Memorial Day, Young PT asked me, “What did you do yesterday?”

I knew he didn’t mean, did you write anything? Or, did you fix any computers?

So, I answered, “You would be proud of me. All I did was I bike to the pool and swim… Read full post »
Lately I can see that I’ve missed two opportunities to be mediocre.

I attended two plays that were not ready for the stage.  

The first was by a man about my age. This was his 50th play to make it to full production.  His was a variant on… Read full post »
MAY 27, 2011 2:26PM

TSA Responds

Last month, after being sexually molested by a Transportation Security Officer, I wrote to John Pistole, head of TSA, and to the TSA Office of Civil Rights and Liberites and the Department of Homeland Security Privacy office, and all of my congressional representatives, and to President Obama, object… Read full post »
MAY 24, 2011 1:08PM

Hula Hooping With my New Hip

The last time I went to Hula Hoop Class was before my hip replacement surgery. Foolishly I stayed for the whole hour, hobbled home, and soaked in the bathtub. I was sore the whole next day.

Hula hooping is fun. It creates endorphins. When the endorphins wear off,… Read full post »

MAY 20, 2011 2:23PM

Pelvic Clocks on a Balance Ball

Last week, we did pelvic clocks while lying on soft mats on the floor.  This week, we did them while sitting on balance balls.  

The floor can’t squirm away from you and go rolling across the room. The floor doesn’t care if you pick up one foot,… Read full post »
MAY 18, 2011 12:41PM

Fake Protest Rally

I’m on the local theater email group list. As such, I get free and discount tickets to many local theatrical productions.  Yesterday I volunteered to be a recorded voice for a local play in which only two women appear on stage.  Since the play has yet to be performed, I can’t… Read full post »
MAY 16, 2011 6:12PM

Gross Looking Exercises

Sometimes the most effective exercises look gross.  Okay suggestive. And I don’t mean belly dancing.

Balance Guy showed me an exercise to help free up my left hip which is restricted by scar tissue.

There will be no photo in this essay because the words are revealing enough.
MAY 12, 2011 12:10PM

Dealing with Copyright Thieves

Google Alerts notified me that two notorious Torrent sites are giving away copies of my copyrighted books.   A torrent is a stolen copy of a copyrighted work – usually a song, book, or movie.  I contacted both of these torrent sites.  One immediately removed my books. The other i… Read full post »
MAY 9, 2011 2:22PM

Of what use is my opinion?

I’ve messed up twice, recently.

A man who did repairs on my house happily told me that he was marrying a woman and getting an instant family because she already had a daughter.  A voice in my head told me to say, “She’s lucky to find a man who won’t… Read full post »
MAY 6, 2011 11:22AM

Pelvic Clocks with my New Hip

Pelvic Clock

Every Thursday morning, my gym has a Feldenkrais class. One of the lessons that the teacher likes to repeat is thee Pelvic Clock.  Here’s a website with instructions:

The basic exercise is to imagine a clock under your pelvi… Read full post »
MAY 3, 2011 11:17AM

PT Has Its Own Rewards

You know what happens if you are good in PT and actually do your exercises?  They strap weights on your ankles to make the exercises harder and they give you more exercises to do.
My new exercise involves slow low marching while sitting on an exercise ball, trying not to… Read full post »
APRIL 27, 2011 3:45PM

Balance Guy as Guru

My Balance Guy asked, “What’s new in your life?”

“TSA molested me at the airport.”

“That’s good,” he said.

I looked at him as if something in his face might tell me if he had correctly understood what I’d said.  I couldn’t think of a… Read full post »
APRIL 26, 2011 12:37PM

Taking My New Hip for a Bike Ride

Last week I took my new hip for a quick bike ride to the gym. That’s only half a mile from my house. No biggie. Biking was less work than walking there.

Yesterday I decided to take the hip for a real ride – one of the reasons I got… Read full post »

It’s been months, maybe a year, since I’ve climbed stairs like a normal person. I’ve been doing what my PT calls “step to.”  I step up one step with my strong leg, bring my weak leg to the same step, and repeat.  For going down, I step down with my… Read full post »
APRIL 18, 2011 3:28PM

Molesting Women for Uncle Sam

A month ago, right after I had my hip replaced, I called TSA both in Washington DC and in Philadelphia to find out what to expect when I went through security, now that I have a piece of metal in my body large enough to trigger alarms.  Both TSA representatives explained… Read full post »
APRIL 15, 2011 10:03AM

More Stuff I Learned This Week

1) is a good website for learning about how to give your online materials to your heirs.  Yes, they have a book, too.

2) Speaking of books, the 39 Clues series that Scholastic invented to try to duplicate the Harry Potter income stream, is more of a story version… Read full post »
APRIL 11, 2011 12:15PM

Things I Learned This Week

1) If a doctor says he’ll see you when you are in the hospital, it means he’ll listen to your heart and send you a bill.

2) When you go to PT after getting hip replacement surgery, the wimpiest exercises are hard and they hurt.

3) The exercise bike… Read full post »
APRIL 4, 2011 10:12AM

Hip Replacement Rehab Day 21

Hip Incision
As you can see by the photo – the incision for my hip replacement isn’t even 4" long.  I have no idea what they did with all my leg muscles, but the surgeon assures me that none of them were cut.  He cut off the head of… Read full post »