Admittedly, I haven't been here very long...but I was reading for months before I created an account.  I tried to know what I was doing ahead of time and  pick up on the unspoken etiquette of OS.  And I think that in many ways, I've done okay with that.  But there a… Read full post »

Sunday 

Disturbing dreams last night; so much so that when I remember bits of them, my stomach tightens and I will myself to think of something else.  I've been feeling invisible lately, hovering around the edges of my life, and today isn't helping.  I'm home alone, it's stopped rainin… Read full post »

I'm listening to the rain.  I was just outside, under an enormous golf umbrella, juggling that and a glass of Spanish red wine in a crystal glass that a couple of goldfish could swim in comfortably, a cigarette, and a 1953 paperback copy of The Great Gatsby. 

(I'd forgotten how gorgeous… Read full post »

I was just eighteen

love in an elevator

hadn't heard the song

Bigot: a person obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices ; especially : one who regards or treats the members of a group (as a racial or ethnic group) with hatred and intolerance

If you believe that marriage in this country should be… Read full post »

The Monday after the whole your-job-is-being-eliminated chat, I met with our team lead.  She informed me that all of my responsibilities had been transferred to someone else; I stared, puzzled, wondering what I was supposed to do instead.

The answer, apparently, is to hang around the office for… Read full post »

I often wonder what my life would've been like if I didn't spend the last twenty years or so trying desperately to ignore the signals that flashed: Houston, we have a problem. 

When I was seven or eight years old, I would lie in the dark, listening to the radio, unable… Read full post »

The first time a friend of mine told me that she and her husband had an open relationship, I was outwardly interested and supportive.  Inside, however, I was shocked and repulsed.  How could they do that?  How could anyone say they loved someone and then go sleep with someone else? &nb… Read full post »

I have a garden.  That's unusual enough here in the city; what really sets it apart is the high brick walls which surround it, and the trains which rumble and squeak by just behind it.  The garden is what I first fell in love with about this place, and where I… Read full post »

my darling, your tongue

makes me writhe and pant, then there's

a flood of sweet juice

You're always around, and have been for some time now.  You have spent days at a stretch with us, lounged around, dropped by, slept over, house-sat. 

You are shy, sly, hilarious - I love the look you give me when you say something that hits my funnybone just right and I… Read full post »

Thursday, April 2: I wake up early, make some coffee, check my e-mail.  I'm more awake and alert than usual this morning; knowing that I have a meeting with my boss, who flew in last night, tends to do that. 

 Shivering a little inside, I shower and dress.  I pull… Read full post »