As of today, my son Finn has officially been in the world for four years, just forty-eight months; I have had car payments that lasted longer than this. I was in college longer than this. His whole life has spanned the length of a presidential term, and yet, his presence inhabits… Read full post »

“What did he die from?”

Why does anyone ask that question? No matter the answer, it resolves nothing. Cancer? Horrible. Car accident? Tragic. Suicide? Um. Oh. Gosh.

Suicide is the ultimate buzz kill.

Nine years ago tomorrow, my father took his life in a motel room in Pismo Beach and I still… Read full post »

As usual, it was nothing like I planned.

I'd showed up at Finn’s school, bright red soccer ball in the crook of my arm, ready for a little outing, just the two of us. Finn greets me like he always does, as though I’m a movie star and he’s a tourist on… Read full post »

Woke up Saturday morning with a patio set on my mind.

Momentarily money conscious, I garage sale it, my mind focused down like a clamp: four black iron chairs, one tiny table.

Four black iron chairs, one tiny table. Four black iron chairs, one tiny table.

Do not be distracted by… Read full post »

This is what it is to have a son, I think. A three-year old son. Or maybe even a forty-year old son.

When I put Finn down for bed tonight, we were kissing good night and he instructs me to fill my mouth with air, cheeks puffed out,… Read full post »

My son got married today and I wasn't even invited to the wedding.

Granted, it was at pre-school. Finn married Stella, a brown-haired sweetheart of a three-year old with a older brother named Gene who is five. The whole thing happened this afternoon and somehow, Finn ended up with the ring.… Read full post »

In Lorrie Moore's short story "People Like That Are the Only People Here" there is a passage:

"...Sitting there, bowed and bobbing, the Mother feels the entirety of her love as worry and heartbreak. A quick and irrevocable alchemy: there is no longer one unworried scrap left for happiness. 'If you go,… Read full post »

I wanted to know more about marriage, about couples who've made it work for decades. I wanted to write about it. And I was lucky enough to be introduced to my dear friend Kim's grandparents: Earl and Geneva Ringness. They astounded me with their humor, their insight, and most… Read full post »

"Can you believe it, Mom," my six year old asks me, rhetorically, "can you believe your little baby is losing her teeth already?"

No, I can't believe it, Reese. Really, I can't.

This tooth thing came up unexpectedly. OK, it had been loose for weeks but then the actual coming out part happened… Read full post »

Dad,
You are at the Shore Cliff Lodge in Pismo Beach, California, which is in San Luis Obispo County, which, as far as I can tell, is really nothing other than a beach town and perhaps not even a spectacular one at that. Certainly not Miami or Santa Barbara or Maui. It… Read full post »

Read full post »