DUBITO ERGO SUM

I DOUBT THEREFORE I AM (PIDGIN LATIN)

roberto luigi

roberto luigi
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Tuscany, Italy
Birthday
September 11
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signor
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Born in Croazia ( then Dalmazia a province of Italy) and raised in Florence, Italy. Did university work in the USA with a master in semiconductor physics. Worked in hi-tech pretty much everywhere with long stints in the USA. Now living in Tuscany in the florentine hills with andrea, my american wife.

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Salon.com
OCTOBER 30, 2011 11:17AM

What's in a word , new or old?

Rate: 6 Flag

As I continuosly try to keep up with the evolution of my second language, I came across a number of new words and their meaning on the Washington Post  as part of their Mensa Invitational which, once again, invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners: 

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus (n.): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxicaton (n.): Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation (v.): Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy (n.): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti (n.): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm (n.): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte (v.): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis (n.): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon (n.): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido (v.): All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect (n.): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beezlebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are:
1. Coffee (n.): The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.): Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate (v.): To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.): To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.): Impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.): Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.): To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.): Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.): Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.): A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.): A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.): The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n.): A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.): A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.): The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.): An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

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Those are great. Thanks for sharing wordplay by some of smartest people on the planet.
As an intellectual, I just pissed myself!!!

ᴼᴥƪ
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Thanks for passing these along, Roberto. What sort of ignoranus wouldn't find these funny? Maybe one with a degenerate disease.
Oh, I love these! Definitely bookmarked.
My own favorite: glibido.