It's spring, and there's a recession on, so it seems like everybody's getting it on. What else is so fun for so cheap?
But there's always a downside. Bodies attach to mouths, which often disconnect from brains. For example, my hub and I have been trying to get pregnant. After one such "time to make the donuts" session, we were still entangled, blissed out on love hormones, and I said, "Gee, I think I could use a cork. Y'know. To keep the good stuff in."
Smooth.
My husband groaned and rolled away. I started giggling, wishing I had a cork for my mouth-end too.
So, how 'bout it? What's some of the dumbest, weirdest, disturbingest postcoital pillow talk you've heard (or said)?
Don't worry, I won't tell anyone.
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Lisa Kern
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Comments
Soon you can buy a discount used pillow.
A Memorial Day Mattress sale is coming.
Buy one bed pillow, mattress, a headboard,
and get the dust, peanut, and crab shells, huh.
Ya, all is swept-up by`umps with thistle brooms.
Best Buy? Shoplift two pillows and two clean sheets
So, on sweaty summer nights, IF you are too grouchy,
or you smell like a Chesapeake Bay dog retriever, huh.
You can browse the yellow pages in the phone book.
You do random speed dials in the moonlight? Hello!
then whispers:`Howdy bedbug Pat'nerd! Pardon me!
Ya got a meeting with mead. We can be merry till daybreak.
Ya a part of my universe. Ya a human humanist. Whoopee!
Merry Merry Merry. How does Ya garden grow? Ya tell me?
With honey, herbs, spice, rain, sunshine, cocklebur shells,
Wiggle worms, bluebird, redbird, red-tail hawk, screeches.
Worries wander off, and we hush to know a inner knowing.
One thing I love to whisper during pillow chat. I sound humph?
No. I no doubt love's moods for too long. I say loves enormous,
and if bottle in (impossible) a 3/4 pint with a cork? Pop a cork!
I don't no what I will say?
Be careful 'inn' universe?
Soar~Sure Ya come agin?
I think I vote for, "Baby, do you think these underwear are clean enough? I was wondering whether I should change them, or if I should go eat a deviled egg."
aphrabehn, thanks for the compliment, and for the support. I hope your battle with infertility had (has) a happy ending.
Arthur James, thanks for the delightful inscrutability.
Dea-dog, ooh, that's a rough one!
Leeandra, you know I share too much even stone-cold sober. I may never look at a deviled egg without thinking of your boyfriend's dirty underpants again. Gaaahhhh...