Sometimes, when I step back from my day-to-day routine and think about who my child is, his potential to do amazing things in this world, and how truly special and important it is that he can freely express himself, I’m literally overcome with emotion. I catch my breath and tears flow uncontrollably. I’m especially overcome when I’m surrounded by these awesome kids and their loving families at, for example, picnics and gatherings.

This Labor Day weekend, our family will be attending a weekend-long conference that promises to be a modern-day love-in. In store at this event are workshops and seminars connecting parents and support groups for transyouth and their siblings. Most of all, however, this event promises a weekend of being in the company of other families who “get it.”

Before having a gender non-conforming child, I’d never really had cause to join a support community. Alcoholism and other mental ailments run in my family, but the diseases have required, to a certain degree, strength and independence on a personal level to get through life. I was never really able to connect with others going through the same thing I was. Although I tried not to be, I found myself struggling to not judge people dealing with the same issues I was. Get OVER it! I did! I always seemed to say to myself. In the end, these groups always felt like they were way more effort than they were worth for me.

This support community is different, though. These parents are truly are just like me. They love and accept their kids unconditionally, and wish we lived in a world where we didn’t have to worry about how they choose to express themselves. I believe that majority of us provide that acceptance in our homes, but the minute we step outside, for the sake of our kids, we have no choice but to raise our guards. Even in familiar places, our children have a social responsibility to define who they are so that everyone around them can understand how to relate to them. While it may be part of human nature to need this definition, for kids that are still exploring the definition themselves, it’s a lot to ask.

It’s this notion—the extra burden of defining their complex, creative, beautiful, non-conforming little selves for the benefit of society—that overwhelms and tears start to flow. That they come through it with such grace, offering such a simple message: I just want to be me.

Really, it’s so simple, and yet we complicate things by asking “Are you a boy? Are you a girl? Who are you?”  Honestly, it truly doesn’t matter. They are them. Each unique, creative, capable of things you never thought possible, and full of unconditional love when a gesture of acceptance is given to them.

The Gender Spectrum Family Conference offers families who experience this awareness an opportunity to share this understanding and acceptance with one another. It’s a chance to tell all our kids, “Hey, you’re GREAT for just being you!” It’s a chance to celebrate their differences and recognize similarities. It’s a chance for each of these children—who, after this weekend will go back to their labels of “boy wearing a dress” or “a girl named Max”—a few days to feel safe and proud of being who they are in the company of others who recognize their individuality.

~*~

One woman in our group created a beautiful song, that really sums it all up perfectly. I encourage everyone to give it a listen: http://www.alliwanttobeisme.com/www.alliwanttobeisme.com/Home.html

 (scroll to the bottom and click the media player)

If you can get through it without needing a tissue, please..... share your secret with me.