I heard some news the other day and I don’t know if I should be disturbed by it or not. JK Rowling, inventor of someone called Harry Potter, apparently a boy wizard and money spinning 7 book series (did that sound right with my tongue planted firmly in cheek?), has a website, www.pottermore.com, that hints that something is in the pipeline. Why I am letting this bounce around in my head I have no idea, it’s just doing it on its own free will at the moment. You go on to the website and you see in a nice script the message “coming soon”. 

Kirsty has guessed, more out of hope I think than knowledge, that Rowling will be writing more books but before Harry’s time. I could probably live with that as there are a number of characters I think would have excellent opportunities for great stories. My fear is though, she’ll pick up where she left off and continue to pad her bank account by flogging a dead horse. Don’t get me wrong, I wish I had the bank account she does to pad, and I’d flog dead mutated chickens if I needed to, but I would be as disappointed in myself as I will be with her if this is the case. 

The timing of course, just before the release of the final movie, is impeccable. In comedy, timing is everything. The same can be said for advertising, marketing, and self-promotion. Millions upon millions of people around the world are expecting the movie to be the best one yet; how can it not be when Harry and He Who Must Not Be Named finally square off in spandex wrestling shorts knee deep in KY Jelly. Wait, that’s the movie I’m writing for Scarlet Johansson and Anne Hathaway.  

I won’t spoil the ending for those of you who haven’t read the books. I will say I hated the ending. I hated the ending almost as much as I hated the ending to the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer. Seriously, what a fucking let down that was. I read a lot of cross-over fiction, the kind aimed for teens and adults, because most of my ideas fall into that category as well. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that despite what the 2000 plus pages before the ending has been like, a shit ending will leave a mildly intelligent reader trying to wash the stink off himself for months. But, let’s get back to Rowling for a minute. 

My hope is that she’s re-writing the ending to the Potter series. As far as I’m concerned, it needs a re-write. With a few tweaks it could have been one of the greatest endings in literature. I’d love to re-write it, but seeing as though she’s still alive and holds the copyright, I’ll have to wait for 50 years after her death before I can think of doing it. She’s only a few years older than I am so I’m not liking my chances either. Oh well, I guess I’ll have to write my own semi-successful seven-part series that leaves mildly intelligent readers pissed off at the ending. 

My big complaint, I suppose, is that life isn’t neat and tidy, so the ending of any piece of literature (yes, even fiction) shouldn’t be neat and tidy. Maybe I’m being too nitpicky, but it’s just the beef I’ve got. The completed children’s novel I have been working on (I say completed but it probably needs to be edited yet again) does not have what I would call the Hollywood ending. The protagonist, while victorious, doesn’t ride off into the sunset as the new sheriff of the town. Nope, he is left with a bigger dilemma than he could have thought. Yes, it sets itself up for a natural sequel, which I am actually trying to plan out, but it is also the type of ending I like to read. 

The Lord of the Rings is my favorite book (technically it was supposed to be written as one book with one parts and I’m currently reading it again for around the 30th time), but the more I read it (and watch the movie) the more I think Samwise Gamgee should have tossed Frodo Baggins into the fires of Mount Doom along with the ring. Good triumphs, but the ending is deliciously more unappetizing. It could have been Sam’s little secret; and wouldn’t it have been fun to imagine what was going on in that gardener’s head of his knowing that only he knew what had actually happened. I’d love to write that book as well but again, stupid copyright regulations are preventing me from that one as well. 

I did like the ending to Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck. He could have had George and Lenny keep on running, eventually hopping on a train into Mexico, and all would have been fine and dandy, and believable, but he opted for a stickier ending, but an ending just as believable and one I wish I had thought of. When George pulls the trigger, giving Lenny the “dream” you know at that moment there was not another way that book could end. It was perfect. George makes the ultimate sacrifice for his friend, and even though Lenny dies, I had a smile on my face knowing that his best and only friend George had given him what he had always wanted. And they made two movies out of it. And the remake wasn’t half bad either (but maybe because I like both John Malkovitch and Gary Sinise). Nope, I wouldn’t touch that ending. 

So Ms Rowling may be back at work (probably could be at work as we speak) and I’m apprehensive as to what the outcome will be. If it picks up from Harry, there’s money behind the pen. If it goes somewhere else, there’s creativity and a love of storytelling involved. I’m definitely hoping that is the case. But the ending to this one better not be sunshine and fucking rainbows.