Kirsty and I go on vacation to South Africa tomorrow. It’s our last vacation for a while so we better enjoy it. Like not enjoying is even a possibility. I’m really looking forward to this trip; more so than any of the other vacations we’ve been on. 

We’ve both been flagging out here. We’re struggling to find any motivation at all at the moment. I know that I, and I alone, can alter this for me and I will. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my lack of get-up-and-go and I need to change that. I’m hoping this trip will help re-charge my batteries and make my task when I come back easier. And that last sentence tells you all you need to know about what has been happening to me over the last few months, if not entire year. 

I said “task”. There was a time when writing didn’t feel like a task. I miss that. And it will stop being a task at some point. There were days when I would write for hours; nothing could stop me. On most of those days I wouldn’t have a single usable sentence to show for it; but I was writing. I need that again. Writing shouldn’t feel like a chore. I shouldn’t have to wrestle with myself, the television remote control, or any other thing to decide to write. I’m better than that. Not sure my writing is; but I am.  

I don’t know if I’m good enough to be published, but the truth of the matter is, I don’t really care. I never wrote for publication before. I wrote because I wanted to. I wrote because it gave me the voice I always craved. It gave me a chance to look back and try and make sense of all the things that have helped define and shape my life. Knowing that some people want to share those experiences is all the better. Life is about learning and growing, and through my writing, I have done just that. That is why I need to start again. That is why I was proud to call myself a writer. 

Some changes are coming once I return from South Africa. My cats will have more space on the couch to curl up as I’ll be upstairs, working away at the computer. Oh yeah, the upstairs will be converted into the writing room (about a year after the original plan for this to happen was hatched). Subtle changes I know, but hopefully ones that lead to the all important change – my renewed commitment to writing, to sharing, to learning, and, possibly most importantly, keeping tabs on my friends and peers on Open Salon. 

Hopefully you’ll still be here when I get back from South Africa. Keep safe and keep writing. 

Cheers