Warning: This is not a modest proposal along the lines of Jonathan Swift’s famous “solution” to the Irish potato famine.  Nope.  This proposal is real.  Let’s get Wall Street into the “game” and get them to bail-out New York!

Shoot.  For Wall Street’s legendary Goldman Sachs, the present estimate of ONLY $50 billion dollars damage as a result of non-existent climate change’s effect on the Gulf Stream is like chump change to Goldman.  After all, even Goldman Sachs claims it is they who rule the world. 

Let’s get that leadership to work! 

What?  You’re laughing?  You’re thinking, like, what’s in it for Goldman Sachs?  Where’s the benefit to the cost?  Ah, we all know those frauds are as innocent as little lost lambs.  While it’s estimated that approximately one percent of the general population of Americans are psychopaths, it’s been pointed-out that, among hedge funds and their Masters of the Universe managers, the percentage of psychopaths is much, much larger.  Yes, it is definitely time to get those psychos to work on something more than their caviar and Chivas. 

Think of the gratitude Jamie Dimon of J. P. Morgan-Chase will glean at dinner parties and soirees among the patrician classes and the equestrian set!  All he has to do is drop a fraction of his offshored wealth and WHAMMO!  Problem solved! 

Or how about the hedge fund called Black Rock.  Black Rock is richer than the United States of America. 

Hey Black Rock!  Time to pitch in….

Furthermore, the U. S. government estimates that a whopping $223 trillion—yes, trillion!—is stashed away overseas by individuals and corporations seeking to avoid U. S. taxes.  So why not a great, big charity write-off?  Time to pitch in….

People reading this may believe I’m not serious.  It’s a self-evident truth, some seem to think, that we’ll never get the commercial sector to ever step in to what author Naomi Klein calls “disaster Capitalism.”  But wait.  Just yesterday, Jeb Bush, the “other Jesus” of the Republican Party, announced he is starting-up a disaster Capitalist venture so he and his buds, all of them very Christ-like, can cash-in on the suffering of people. 

Wonder what the “added value” to $50 billion is once we add-in the profit that will be demanded when such firms decide to go whole-hog after the federal government and FEMA. 

No worry!  They’re eager to step-in, and it’s gonna be freedom, baby! 

Yes, our intrepid commercial sector is going to do a bang-up job profiting off people floating around on motes of flotsam and jetsam, aren’t they? 

Think of the feeding frenzy Hurricane Sandy represents in terms of sheer dinero, buddies!  It’s amazing. 

Yes, it is amazing.  And that’s the only reason the private sector wants in on the deal.  Pay less taxes, make more money.  Honesty is the second best policy.  Public expense for private gain. 

Sending in the commercial sector for disaster control evidently works.  Just look at Mittens Romney Schmomney’s canned goods drive yesterday during a campaign photo-op in Ohio.  But oops!  He didn’t check with Red Cross.  Red Cross doesn’t want canned goods.  Red Cross has its own food warehouses and needs the cash to buy more from their usual ones. 

Yup, asking Mitt Romney to deal with catastrophic disasters like Hurricane Sandy is like sending-in Walmart CEOs to replace U.S. Navy Seal Team Six.  Hell!  We could have sold Osama bin Laden.  That lousy government: They dropped a “cash cow” into the Indian Ocean.