I haven't posted in a while. Hell, I haven't even written in a while. What's up with that? Well, like my friend, Sally Swift, I've been cranky. So, hopefully, with Sally's blessing, I write my own 5 Reasons Why I'm Cranky, 5 Reasons I'm Not. (Before reading this sad homage go read Sally's post: http://open.salon.com/blog/sally_swift/2010/01/21/5_reasons_im_cranky_5_reasons_im_not)
Five Reasons I'm Cranky:
1. Heart Attacks/Strokes and Worry.
My brother in law (my beloved sister Deb's husband) had a heart attack and a stroke last night. His name is Gene and I can't even begin to tell you how wonderful this man was to me when I was growing up. My sis, Deb, and Gene have been married for forty five years. That's right! I'm forty nine and they have stuck it out, through thick and thin, for almost as long as I have walked this earth. I seriously don't know what would've happened to me without this man and his generous ways. All the open doors, the dinners, the nights spent on his porch, strumming guitars...all the rides in the back of his truck on star lit nights. Don't EVEN get me started on WHAT THE HELL WILL MY SISTER DO WITHOUT THIS MAN? He's only 65.
2. Finances.
My damned old house is falling down around us. Where the hell am I going to get the thirty thousand dollars we need to fix this place? That's right, I said thirty freaking THOUSAND dollars. We can't re-finance...the market has driven real estate prices down so far in our area that refinancing is out of the question. Should we borrow from the 401K? I always swore we'd never do that.
3. Back pain. 'Nuff said.
4. Cancer.
My mother's little sister, the last one, is dying. Breast, lung, brain...she's got it all. I love this woman. All my old people are dropping like flies. I am the old people now. That in itself is depressing. I can't bring myself to go see her. Scott, my sweet brother, flew to Cincinatti to say his goodbyes. I, like the chicken shit that I am, send a card every other day instead. I have seen too many people I love dying lately. I'm so over death.
5. I miss my mother.
I've been sorting through her boat load of family photographs. It's been almost two years now since her passing and I've just worked up the nerve to dig through her personal collection of cards, letters, photos...the testament to her emotional life. I miss my mother, damn it!
Now that the pity party is over I can move on (thank YOU, Sally Swift) to THE FIVE REASONS I'M NOT CRANKY:
1. The husband.
I have the most wonderful husband in the world. Period. You can put yours up against mine, if you wish...but for ME, he's the BEST. 'Nuff said about that too. I'm lucky, so sue me.
2. Facebook.
All the sorting of Mom's photos has led to a wonderful thing! I started posting old family photos on facebook and my cousins have had a hay day with them! Who would have thought, just a few years ago, that I could connect with my cousins (from Canada to south Florida) in a blink of an eye? Our connectedness (if that's a word) has been re-ignited! I started with posting hilarious old photos I found in Mom's stuff. That led to fun conversations...nostalgia, and then? Then all of them started searching through old boxes, slides, newspaper articles, etc. and we began to really SHARE. Fun! We are now planning a reunion. Our last was in 1996...too long ago.
3. Children.
The kid thing has, in the long run, worked out pretty good for me. My adopted and biological kids are good, solid, people. The fosters are (all but one) moving forward in their lives. They call just to say hi, how ya doing, Mom? I just feel so full. So rewarded. Big sighs of relief...after all the struggles, the challenges, the heart aches, the hospitals...all that stuff. It was twenty five years worth it.
4. Optimism.
Life, is open. The next great thing is around the corner. I can feel it.
So, thanks Sally! This has been fun. I'll leave you with one old photo I found that never fails to crack me up. Much love and many kisses to you all. XXXXOOO
5. Humor.
Me, acting all innocent, and my friend, Maria, obviously a child prostitute.
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Comments
As screwed up as many things are there's plenty of bright side (#1 being the kid of course).
PEACE!
But you do have a Lot of blessings to count. The most important, lasting kind. So glad you shared them with us. Yea! And re Humor, the most important of all. Love the pic, are you the pimp?
I am so sorry to hear about your B-I-L. I will add him to my thoughts and prayers, and you as well. Just take it one thing at a time, one step at a time. Think of all of us here sending you the best possible thoughts, sending you as much strength as we can muster.
That last photo, though, Gracie - I gotta say, I saw that and started hearing the dialogue from "The Deer Hunter". Sincerely.
Rated.
Rated.
And good job on rehabilitating your child prostitute friend - that, in itself.....
I don't know what's wrong with the house, but try this: look for an apprenticeship training program - construction trade unions run them all over the country - and offer your home as work site to help them train their cadres. If the unions are recalcitrant, look for trade schools, high school or college.
Most times, people are looking a roof work, termite damage, or mold. I'm working on the mold problem, a way to kill the mold without having to tear the house apart.
Look for the extraneous solution.
I saw this posted on a wall years ago, and never forgot it:
10% of life is what happens to us; 90% is how we react to it.
Stay positive!
This will be just a quick response. Thanks for all the comments boys and girls.
mypsyche: same boat for certain BUT rehabbing an old friend really does make a person feel complete. LOL!
DY: If you only knew...one reason this photo is so hilarious to me is that I was NEVER that sweet.
Sandra: thanks. The news this morning is about as positive as it can be, under the circumstances. So, that's good.
trig, buddy: #1 for certain. Always #1.
pk: I hope all is going well around your place.
Ms Swift! Always so generous with your self. You just don't know how much I appreciate it. My bro, Scott, took this picture...and, as I recall was THE PIMP! Ha ha ha hahhhh... He just didn't have that photographer's eye for framing yet. Thank God. This photo makes me laugh every single time I see it. Humor, the gift from the Gods, no?
Lisa: just to be grateful...that's the key. I learned along the way that getting grateful is the best step for me. I've missed sooooo many of your posts...when I have a bit more time I'm gonna go back and read every one. Looking forward to it!
Owl: Ha ha ha hahhhhhhhh....still makes me giggle EVERY time!
Robin: hope all is well in your world! xxxooo to you too. I hear you're on the prowl again? Roowaoooowwwwwlllll.
Spudman! I too am thrilled! Maria, I believe is living in a convent now and goes by the name of Sister Knowsmorethansheshould.
tink: you need to know this...your wife would probably enjoy that polyamorous thing...just sayin'....ha ha ha.
Lea: a longish time on earth! I'm stealing that. I love it when you visit me.
skeletn: it's overwhelming but very enjoyable! Sometimes though I get just a bit too sentimental.
Thoth: smooooch!
Karin: I understand that's it's all a part of this circle of life shit but, damnit it, doesn't mean I have to like it! And, yeah, doing good makes my life complete. LOL
Love that photo. So cute!
Your post is lovely, and yes, life is such a mixture of situations and sensations, and through them we go slowly ahead... as you say "the next great thing is around the corner."
A big kiss to you,
Marcela