“That shit’s gooder’n HELL!!!”

Say you’ve been driving eight, maybe nine solid hours from Connecticut, Michigan, Missouri, or some godforsaken place or other. You are now in North Carolina and you just have a hankerin’ for something (Hankerin’s is what’cha git when y’ pass thru them Smoky Mayntins an’ breathe thet good ol’ Carolina ahr.). You are not quite hungry as all hell, but you just gotta smooth over that hole in your gut. Trust me, I know how it goes. Your pain is mine. It’s all good. No worries. You have been listening to the books on tape version of “Atlas Shrugged” by Ayn Rand and hate on what a selfish bitch she was, and how schmucks like her and L. Ron Hubbard are responsible for all the cracked-out whack jobs who think they know how the rest of us should live. That’ll get me going off on a tangent… just screw ‘em. So, the creature of habitual ceremony that you are, you yank the goddamn tape out of your old-school Pioneer deck that you received as one of your graduation presents back in 1986. The tape is what some glassy-eyed, hard-nosed Objectivist “friend” gifted to you a couple years back because she was yet another who so kindly treated you like your life was going down the shitter and her universe was so friggin’ perfect.