whuffle-hiss-thumm-tick of machines continue
but I stop. I am another one gone.
I am another one gone; I know
before the monitor knows
panic, my ears emptying, sounds relocate
except for a new one: the dweeeee
of my homeless heart.
I give up on breath, the jitters, I let go of sinews
and jaw; my chest tears; are my arms rising?
I am not ready; copper mouth, burned pallate
no feet, no hands, no lungs; just split trunk and spilt me:
release later and after and them and next
and seconds on sweet pie and wonder and
I want to move my head I want to change focus
from hole-y tiles to the green line to steel lights
om omigod omgod is this am i the last longest line
i fail i give up move i give up want and change
and focus and hole-y and green and light
now jostle now voices now one gleam now wall now light
i live light live sound live darker now live
live losing him live pain live her salt live children
o precious live children live ready not ready!
live focus live dark live
ready live i love
live ready i