1. Don't go to the mall. If you are at the mall, go home.
2. Don't watch TV unless it's about wild animals.
3. Swing your arms vigorously. Turn your palms up.
4. Say 'sunny-side' until you are sick from saying it.
5. Never grimace from pain if you can sigh with resignation.
6. Never sigh with resignation if you can rise up and fix it.
7. Love horror movies when young, then switch to documentaries.
8. Learn to ask: What do you want?
9. Read 'The Annals of Imperial Rome' by Tacitus. Don't give up on page 17. Read until the repetition speaks to you -- the endless parade of pro-consuls and praetors, sullied by the occasional tyrant. Read until you are gobsmacked by this: we were always this way.
10. Before sleep each night walk out into the velvet dark and fly up under the make-believe moon, soar over the dark sussurating trees, and zoom away. Leaves should rhumba in your wake. Watch over lovers on a hilltop, wreak bloody vengeance, rescue a chained dog, collect all those Congolese Uzis and drop them into an Icelandic volcano, scoop the salty South Pacific into your cupped hands and carry it all the way to Kansas.
11. Stand still when things collapse.
12. Listen for melody in laughter: at work, on the street, at parties -- and if there is only one note? flee for your life, run like the dickens until you hear music.
13. Admit your cruelty, then show it the door.
14. Walk into town each spring, and sit where everyone passes. Tell yourself a story about each one. Ask: are they real? are they sad about their grades? determined to recover? hungover? in hopeless love? just hurrying to get home on time? ready for death?
15. Feel all grief.
16. Feel just enough terror.
17. Foreswear indifference.
18. Forgive those who do not, who shrug and choose to ignore what you remember. They are happier than you, and happiness helps.
19. Set it all aside when it's time to teach someone how to tie their shoes.
20. Teach someone how to tie their shoes.
21. Love the struggle, not the pain.
22. Suffer fools only if they suffer first.
23. Doubt everything except kindness.
24. Allow for pretense as a temporary measure.
25. Do not feed the beast.
26. Compare notes.
27. Encourage discussion.
28. Risk suicide.
29. But don't, unless absolutely necessary.
30. Wrestle with the Bull of Heaven. Avoid being gored or trampled.
|~
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Seer
daisyjane
The Good Daughter
Chicken Mãâàn
the traveler
Ashley F. Miller
Salon.com
Comments
This is the only one I would change for myself. I have learned to ask, "What do you NEED?" - of myself, and of others. :-D
Oh, and I absolutely loved #10. With spring on the horizon, it is even more appealing than usual.
Highly Rated.
M.McK: not sure it works for everyone. And I used to right wrongs by hurting people. Then i just broke all trigger fingers. Now I destroy guns. Progress. Thank you.
Dr. Susanne: I used to work in a pre-school. Sometimes we tried mirrors.
thanks.
__
(Sulla was a Roman tyrant. I am showing off sly erudition here)
But I take your point. It's making me think.
thank you
Owl: to fulfill the legal terms of my trademarked and licensed material you have to purchase and post alongside the life-size Greg Correll action figure cutout (sold separately). The adhesive does not damage most walls, but choose placement carefully. It's permanent.
(thanks)
"10. Before sleep each night walk out into the velvet dark and fly up under the make-believe moon, soar over the dark sussurating trees, and zoom away. Leaves should rhumba in your wake. Watch over lovers on a hilltop, wreak bloody vengeance, rescue a chained dog, collect all those Congolese Uzis and drop them into an Icelandic volcano, scoop the salty South Pacific into your cupped hands and carry it all the way to Kansas."
And not because it mentions Kansas, although it adds to the reverberations and tingling I feel in my spine.
Now I need to find a suitable frame for this on my wall...
No. 11 is definitely a good 'un.
The tying the shoes one should be higher on the list...aw, just kidding. They all should be higher on the list. ;-| (r)
Not sure I can do #10 but sure enjoyed reading it.
I like that a fine poet like you likes it. Thank you. (and I did finally read and commented on That Post)
Fay: for you, free. thank you.
Boan: Yeah! i really do that too. I am filled with love for human beings when I do it. and the more I do it the more i feel I can see whole life stories in a shoulder, a step, what's missing in a look. thank you.
Gary: uh-oh. Now I will do even LESS of the work that pays the rent . Thanks a LOT. ;)
Dave: thank you! love that Brailing piece. Such good prose.
R for wisdom.
Lea! thank you.
Maureeenow: thank you.
BuffyW: 15 is inevitable I guess. some resist it. thank you
scanner: For sure, dude. I've seen documentaries lately that make me not want to eat, breath, or leave the house. thanks.
donna: another vote for 10. so glad I left it in. thank you.
__
I must work now, but will return later and comment to any that follow, I promise!
r
There is never time for fantasy. It should be a required subject in any education.
Fantastic.
What can I say?
I'm in tears, truly
but these are tears of relief
for your gift
of comfort, of understanding
of beauty and grace
for the sacred and the secular,
the human and the humanist.
My words, stupid word
are inadequate; but yours
I will stitch on a pillow
And absorb fully,
I promise you
~R~
One you may have forgotten: tell your people that you love them while you can.
This nearly made me collapse. There are many things I have to work on in this list. I use my indifference as armor and I doubt kindness all the time. This is so lovely Greg, thank you.
I twirl my arms a lot. Kinda known for it. I need my upper body to feel free, like ready for take-off.
I liked that you went there with 28 and 29.
Great post.
I am Mother of One Daughter, Queen of the Shopping Mall and Adolescent Tears. I fear no Grimace, no Eyeroll, no Discussion. I feel every second of her Grief and Terror in the mythological quest for Footwear Indifference, my shield crested with Butterflies and Melodies, Tissue Paper Hearts and Curly-Q Ponytail Ribbons.
I will Risk it All and Wrestle every Beast, until Kansas is an Ocean and everyone can Loopty-Loop-and-Swirl or get the Rabbit through his Hole.
I am Mother of Five. Don't fuck with me.
;)
You are magnificent. I love your wisdom. I love your fatherly-ness. Thank you, thank you.
I kept hearing the voice of Kurt Vonnegut.
Which I guess ain't half bad!
Have a beauteous weekend, Writerman!
Everybody has said it already, but I love #10
Love this post.
Anyone have any shoe-tying teaching tips? We're having trouble with the whole concept. Were it not for velcro sneaker closures, my son would never leave the house.
Thank you for this
froggy: Thank you. imagination sustains us.
Nikki: {{{hug}}}
you rend me asunder with this. Thank you.
unbreakable: another for 10! Sheesh. What do I know, from what's a keeper? (note to self: trust all urges to retain prose about flying etc.) Thank you.
Luluandpheobe: i love that, with intention. I used to practice Kundalini yoga, so i know approx what you mean. And it means more than just solar plexus. Thank you.
greenheron: Ok, but you don't get the extra credit. And no, Suetonius doesn't count because he was just a gossp.
And the say love suggestion? that goes into Appendix 2: Morality Without Ghosts. Thank you.
sophieh: it's not easy to do. Thank you.
justJuli: it makes effective armor. and we all need a hide to hide behind, at times. Thank you.
dyno! will do. Thank you.
Pavenne: see obligatory action figure cutout purchase requirement above
(Thank you.)
Akopsa: Thank you.
mamoore: you honor me with this comment. and good point about velcro! tho convenience is inevitable. Thank you.
Beth: love twirling. close eyes, open eyes, ride bike with arms stiff, feel the wind.
Glad you appreciate 28/9. It's an acquired taste, mortality. But we must choose this life, eh? and to truly choose it means...
Thank you.
jimmy! saved marriages. a good thing. Thank you, my friend.
Karin: enter mall. brain stop. Thank you.
T. Michael: Feel free. I get lyric credit.
i hope you are serious. I'd love it!
Thank you.
susanmihalic: Thank you.
mother:
This is without a doubt the best comment I have ever received. It is the best comment I have ever read on OS. You MUST -- eheheh, I'm serious now -- you MUST post this as a standalone piece.
It soars. It is chockfull of Choice Phrases, and a lush & terrible beauty. It is pitch perfect response to the Gilgamesh-inspired urges of my piece; even MORESO, even.
It is officially Appendix 1: Mother Of Five, DFWM
Thank you, dear one.
Connie: aw, shucks. So it goes. Potooweet. You honor me with the comparison.
beauteous to you, Writerwoman. Thank you.
Shannon: eggs-ackly write about 1_I_M. Thank you.
OESheepdog: you've earned it. nite-nite. Thank you.
geezerchick: 10 again and again. Thank you.
Eden: That one is the heart of this mini-Torah, yes? Thank you.
julien: groovy. I am here thru thursday. try the veal. tip your waitress. g'night!
( Thank you.)
Blue: try a mirror? hey, velcro just works, too. Thank you.
lorelei: except when I am not. Just ask my my two teen daughters. (the one in her thirties sees more clearly) Thank you.
Elisa: pick one up for my wife, OK? I'll just sit in the car and read. ( Thank you.)
Kisses,
Marcela
I love the way the Universe puts just what (and whom) you need in your path - just when you need it.
And I really, really needed it.
Thank you.
hugs: what a fine comment. If you do try them all I will buy you a cheese sandwich. on whole wheat. plus a pickle! ( Thank you.)
nola: love your avatar name. love libraries and librarians. Put down that knife mom, we were just kidding! Thank you.
Juliet: 11 is inevitable. Thank you.
Stellaa: i love your grouchy soul long time.
Yeah, OK. I take your point. But I get a half-a-point for a non-list list, right? And an extra quarter point for am absurdly poetic flight of fancy, smack dab?
Con recently said the key to organization is to label everything miscellaneous. He's such a wise guy.
Linda: Thank you. It's an involuntary response some of us have, the mall thing. Maybe it's their air filters.
suzie: Buster Keaton, yes, I know the scene, PERFECT! If he had been one inch wrong. And he's deadpan the whole time.
Ahh. "no one-notes". That's fine praise for a writer. Thank you.
Marcela: hey how are you and is your family doing OK? ANOTHER quake. Good grief.
Oh, great. Now I have to lose weight and put the spandex on and actually make an action cutout!
-- Thank you.
rooster88: 14 is the most fun you can have with your clothes on and is deeply satisfying and exponentially increases us as writers, if we really look and have compassion. Thank you.
MJ: Thank you.
DH: sorry, times up. All the good ones are taken. I can write #31 just for you but it'll cost, big time.
Actually 10 should be free. Wait: it's all free verse, technically. Damn!
( Thank you.)
Sissy414: totally awesome. And this explains what that message was on my machine, from the Universe, earlier today. I didn't play it back, but glad it all worked out.
and thank you.
O'really: OK, now that is just way too cool. My collar feels a little tight.
I would have to add "remember to floss" if i'm going to be responsible for the kindelech getting it right.
Thank you, sweet one.
Kisses,
Marcela
I hope the mountains calm down.
femme: yep. that will undo all the rest. Thank you
Lisa: wow. I still say, though, that stuff about flossing, and perhaps don't dive into the shallow end of the pool, too. My head still hurts.
Thank you
Joan: I agree. Sometimes tho it's the prudent choice to defer, it until you have skills. Thank you.
__
In case anyone else comments: I'm a shaky old guy (OK, 55), wanna go be with my family. But I will reply to all later, and this has been an especially surprising and touching set of comments from everyone.
R
I'm sort of over #15, and might try #3 today. #17 is an every day concern.
You are a super human!
It's the sullying by tyrants that creeps up on us every time.
Great post.
BR
P. S. I cannot be trusted at the mall.
Thanks.
I haven't thought of Gilgamesh in such a long time. Thank you for the reminder...in fact, thank you for all of this. It is helpful to commune regarding our hope travels. That's what reading this felt like, communion.
sweetfeet: Thank you.
missingk8: Thank you
Bernadine: I recently read Gilagamesh, and The Buried Book/David Damrosch, and made this post http://open.salon.com/blog/greg_correll/2010/03/08/just_smoke_in_the_sky; in a way this is part two. The Bull of Heaven was sent by Ishtar to punish Gilgamesh.
rita: I try not to. My daughters think I am an alien. Thank you
aim: hey, refrigerator IS a weird word. Like it's missing a D somewhere.
Well, not super. Maybe "special".
Thank you
Blue: those darn sulliers.
The mall probably doesn't trust you. or me. Thank you
Typo: And all fools suffer. Heck, we all suffer. So I guess we have to dufer them, Damn.
Thank you
Bonnie: It sure is. That's why i garden. Thank you
anna: Thank you!
scupper: For, you, I'll give a lifetime license. Just don't e-sell it without proper attribution.
Sparking: some zoom, some thrum, some scintillate.
And it sure does feel like communion. This has been a pretty amazing experience, this post. It got a different and better response than I expected!
I'll be popular until my next post, in which I explain how there is no God, and what we should do next.
Thank you
Losing: every time someone cites a number i have to scroll back up to see which one that is. Thanks.
Thank you.
#1 & #8 made me laugh because they're true.
Read until you are gobsmacked by this: we were always this way. This is a regular and unexpected reminder for me. I've thought of it before and continue to be surprised by it anew.
Allow for pretense as a temporary measure. This graceful method of handling discomfort or embarrassment, usually of the social variety, was always practiced beautifully by my mother. I was so contemptuous of it. Silly me.
Patty: Thank you
Caroline: true for us cool kids! Thank you
susanliving: Yeah. Surely someone already said this. I MUST be "channeling" it from some Zen book. Thank you
Lainey! I love that you love the gobsmacked line. It amazes me more don't know this. Education stifles our deep appreciation of who we are and how we got this way.
And yeah, our parents were right about stuff. Silly us.
Thank you. And Thank you.
Ubermensch: Solid advice. Thank you
AJCalhoun: An elegant comment. You are first I think to comment on 18; that one took me a long time to learn. You have to love humans as they really are to get it. Thank you
The key to physical wellness: "3. Swing your arms vigorously. Turn your palms up."
The key to a successful career: "6. Never sigh with resignation if you can rise up and fix it."
The key to emotional stability: "25. Do not feed the beast."
The key to a wholesome family: "19. Set it all aside when it's time to teach someone how to tie their shoes."
The key to successful personal finance: "1. Don't go to the mall. If you are at the mall, go home."
The key to spiritual enchantment: "30. Wrestle with the Bull of Heaven. Avoid being gored or trampled."
Yep, Greg - looks like you covered all the bases!!!
~r for excellence, and for remembering what Tacitus wrote on page 17 (I had to look it up!)
McKenna: another vote for 10. thank you
Kit: wow. thanks for the close read and I like your re-org of it. Now it looks like it makes sense!
Hm.
Do I tell the truth and admit I just said 17 as a random page number?
Or do i pretend I mean page 17 of the Penquin classics translation where the numbing sensation takes effect, and one realizes it's going to be like this until Sulla?
I'll go with self-aggrandizing bullshit. 'Yep, I remembered that!'
thank you
Here's another RATING for you. Oh, I know, I know - it's not REAL - or IS it? I mean, in the existential sense, can't I give all the ratings I want? I mean, just because the software is limited doesn't mean that WE have to be limited, right? You definitely deserve more than the one rating I'm allotted - so here's a whole mess of 'em!!! And thanks, again for a great post!!!!
My grandpa never suffered fools, snakes or liars.
I couldn't agree more!
life is confusing.
Stephanie
I start to garden again next month so it will take a while for me to get trim again and for that action figure cutout to be ready. Then again maybe I should have a new one made: me, sitting, typing.
And i know what you mean. I give out WP's - writer's Picks -- and with all the new good writers I have typed in a lot of them lately
Thank you!
Kim: People like your grandpa scared us into being better people.
The problem is everyone suffers. So we suffer almost everyone. ah well...
thank you
vzn: ah those halcyon minutes of yore, when we were united and terrified together.
And the motto of those days: Stop, Shop, and Let's Roll? (or was it Shop, for Slop, Droll? Shop, Shop, and Drool? Shop, Baby, Drill? I can't remember
rachel: thanks: hey that's true! "if you can keep your head while all about others are losing theirs, you're probably the only one laughing!"
stephanie: thank you
Thank you for understanding this. Thank you. Thank you.
And the Ides of March are upon us !
03/15/2010 Burgess Dillard