1. Don't go to the mall. If you are at the mall, go home.
2. Don't watch TV unless it's about wild animals.
3. Swing your arms vigorously. Turn your palms up.
4. Say 'sunny-side' until you are sick from saying it.
5. Never grimace from pain if you can sigh with resignation.
6. Never sigh with resignation if you can rise up and fix it.
7. Love horror movies when young, then switch to documentaries.
8. Learn to ask: What do you want?
9. Read 'The Annals of Imperial Rome' by Tacitus. Don't give up on page 17. Read until the repetition speaks to you -- the endless parade of pro-consuls and praetors, sullied by the occasional tyrant. Read until you are gobsmacked by this: we were always this way.
10. Before sleep each night walk out into the velvet dark and fly up under the make-believe moon, soar over the dark sussurating trees, and zoom away. Leaves should rhumba in your wake. Watch over lovers on a hilltop, wreak bloody vengeance, rescue a chained dog, collect all those Congolese Uzis and drop them into an Icelandic volcano, scoop the salty South Pacific into your cupped hands and carry it all the way to Kansas.
11. Stand still when things collapse.
12. Listen for melody in laughter: at work, on the street, at parties -- and if there is only one note? flee for your life, run like the dickens until you hear music.
13. Admit your cruelty, then show it the door.
14. Walk into town each spring, and sit where everyone passes. Tell yourself a story about each one. Ask: are they real? are they sad about their grades? determined to recover? hungover? in hopeless love? just hurrying to get home on time? ready for death?
15. Feel all grief.
16. Feel just enough terror.
17. Foreswear indifference.
18. Forgive those who do not, who shrug and choose to ignore what you remember. They are happier than you, and happiness helps.
19. Set it all aside when it's time to teach someone how to tie their shoes.
20. Teach someone how to tie their shoes.
21. Love the struggle, not the pain.
22. Suffer fools only if they suffer first.
23. Doubt everything except kindness.
24. Allow for pretense as a temporary measure.
25. Do not feed the beast.
26. Compare notes.
27. Encourage discussion.
28. Risk suicide.
29. But don't, unless absolutely necessary.
30. Wrestle with the Bull of Heaven. Avoid being gored or trampled.