After I dropped off my 3 year old at preschool, I headed down to the dog beach with our dog, Bowie. It’s his favorite place to frolic and work that chubby ass of his.

Upon arrival, I saw two men enter the dog beach with their dogs. Suddenly, I heard one of the men say, “I feel sick.”

As I always try to avoid making awkward convo with dog owners, I walked past these men. A few minutes later, I found one of them laying on the ground in pain.

“Is everything okay?” I asked.

“I think this man is having a heart attack and I can’t get my cell phone to work. We need to call 911.”

I whipped out my phone, dialed 911 and gave all the necessary information. As I was on the phone, all the dogs proceeded to encompass the incapacitated man and suddenly, I saw Bowie lifting his leg. 

“BOWIE! GET AWAY!” 

As we waited for the ambulance to arrive, Bowie proceeded to pee on the man’s head several times. I had to put my dog on leash.

“Do you think you can take my dog and I’ll pick him up later?” 

This was what the man’s biggest concern was over. Who would watch over his dog. Since it was his dying wish and my dog tried using his head as a toilet, my only response was, “Uh, okay.”

Luckily, by the time the fire department arrived, they contacted animal control and informed the owner his dog would be well cared for, while he headed towards the emergency room. Had this man not been lifted onto a stretcher, my dog would’ve continued to pee on the poor man’s head.

Later that evening, the man called me.

“I wanted to thank you and let you know that I did have a heart attack, coincidentally during my visit at the ER.”

“Oh my, you’re okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine and the police are watching over my dog right now.”

“Oh, good. He wouldn’t take his eyes off of you. Your dog sat by the gate until animal control came.”

“Thanks for waiting with him. He’s a good friend and I’m looking forward to picking him up.”

After I hung up, I told my husband he had called.

“Did you apologize for our dog trying to pee on his head?”

“No, I didn’t want him to relive that. He has been through enough.”