Editor’s Pick
MAY 6, 2010 9:08PM

Survivor: Might As Well Eat Fried Worms

Rate: 8 Flag

Note: I may be extra grumpy because I have not yet had dinner because my DORM WAS ON FIRE. You know, God forbid they replace the 40 year-old air conditioners.

Stupidest Tribe Name Ever, night 30. The Heroes are most displeased with Candice's flip. No one has anything nice to say about her. It's all very amusing. Rupert says, "Colby and I are standing on a sinking ship. There are no other Heroes." Dun dun dun!

Seriously Rename This Tribe, day 31. Napoleon is incredibly pleased with himself, completely ignoring the fact that absolutely nothing he did has anything to do with why Candice and Sandra voted with him last night. I mean, of course, the world revolves around you, you special snowflake! Rupert notes that Napoleon is slime. They both have a second grade fight over the fire. Delightful.

Immunity challenge. It's that one balance challenge where you're chained to a bucket. After one minute, Jeff decides to offer them something to tempt them down. Before even seeing it, Napoleon and Sandra step out. It turns out to be cookies and milk. Next up are donuts and iced coffee. Colby steps out. 35 minutes later, Candice asks Danielle if Parvati can hold out because someone needs to beat Rupert. Whatever, Candice, I am so done. Jerri, Danielle, and Candice drop out for PB&J sandwiches. Rupert slips and Parvati wins. Jeff reads the clue to the hidden immunity idol out loud to everyone. Something about a burning bush. They don't pay the clue-writers enough.

Back at camp, everyone looks for the burning bush. Short of a sign from God, nobody knows exactly what they're looking for. It's hilarious. "Isn't a burning bush red?" "I dunno." Sandra finds another clue but she hides it somewhere else, planning to read it later. Rupert sticks a rock in his pocket hoping it looks like he has the idol. Napoleon plans to get rid of Rupert anyway. Oh, Sandra says she has the idol. Did she get it? Okay then. Scrambling commences. The Villain girls talk about getting rid of Candice. Colby and Rupert discuss saving themselves and getting rid of Candice. Ooh, this would delight me.

Tribal. Wow, we're twenty minutes in. This is going to be fun. Amanda joins the jury, still looking like the biggest whiner ever. There's some bitching about Candice and strategy. Napoleon basically flat-out says Rupert's going home tonight. Colby says, "I can say I'm proud of the way I played this game," flips over his vote for Candice and says, "Can you?" BAMF! I forgot how much I like Colby. Rupert makes it look like he's going to play an idol but he doesn't. Napoleon looks kind of upset. Votes: oh, we're going to commercial. Fine. I'll go reheat some chow mein.

Om nom nom. Okay. Votes: Rupert, Rupert, Rupert, Candice, Candice, Candice, Candice, Candice. Bye, Candice. Colby grins, Amanda grins, Danielle pouts, but I think her mouth might be stuck that way. Jeff sends them back to camp, but we're only halfway through the hour.

Also, I wasn't paying attention to the first part of her sentence, but Candice said something upon being voted out about karma being a bitch. Isn't it just, sweetie? Isn't it just?

Napoleon is once again shocked, just shocked that things didn't go his way. Sooner or later he's going to need to stop being shocked. The girls tell Napoleon that Rupert must not have the idol. Napoleon is worried that he has to share control of the game with Parvati. It's so precious how he thinks he's still in charge at all. Live the dream, cupcake!

Next immunity challenge. Race to get a peg to maneuver through a maze, then use more pegs to climb a wall, then solve a puzzle. Rupert, Sandra, Napoleon, Parvati, and Danielle get through the maze. Napoleon, Rupert, and Parvati make it up the wall. Sandra puzzles as to how to get down. Napoleon wins immunity.

Symbolic rain back at camp. Parvati giggles that there will be "noooooooooo Heroes left" after tonight. I...sweetie, you only get to vote out one of them. I'm not that good at math, but I can count to two. Napoleon says he wants to get rid of Parvati. Danielle doesn't want to do that. Also, her silicone is rippling and it's really weirding me out. Napoleon tells Parvati to get rid of Danielle. I'm beginning to wonder if Napoleon remembers there are other people in the game. Parvati...no way. Parvati believes Napoleon when he says that Danielle's saying she wants to vote her out. She says she's going to talk to Danielle. Napoleon flips and tells her not to. The girls talk to each other about what Napoleon said to each of them. WOW, WHO COULD HAVE FORSEEN THIS HAPPENSTANCE? I will never understand the people that think Napoleon always plays a perfect game, because this? This is ENTIRELY PREDICTABLE. They are BESTEST BEST FRIENDS. OF COURSE THEY'RE GOING TO TALK. THERE WAS NO WAY TO PULL THAT OFF AT ALL EVER. You muttonhead. Anyway. Napoleon tells Colby to vote Sandra. Rupert axes a tree and sadly not Napoleon's head. Jerri says she's voting for Rupert no matter what anyone else says. Napoleon tells Jerri to vote for Danielle. Jerri says she won't, and Napoleon tells Jerri she's next. Rupert overhears.

Tribal again. Dragon Slayer is wearing a shirt that says "Dragonz." Candice is wearing her best bitch face. Rupert says Parvati and Napoleon are running the show. Napoleon gives the jury a look like he expects them to worship at his feet. They are having none of it. Parvati and Danielle tell Jeff what Napoleon tried to pull with them today. Jeff says, "So, Russell, you got caught." He denies it. Danielle calls bullshit. Napoleon says he was just trying to see where she stands. It's so cute how he thinks he's smart at all. Danielle is crying. Someone on the jury says, "Boo-hoo." Napoleon thinks he could've gotten away with this Danielle/Parvati thing. Danielle goes, "Uh, no." Seriously. He's rivaling JT for Stupidest Move Ever. Remember that time I told you to get rid of Napoleon early? I.E. Every week? But what do I know. Votes: Rupert, Rupert, Rupert, Danielle, Danielle, Danielle, Danielle. Bye, Danielle. Parvati is displeased. JT winks at Rupert.

Next week: Sandra is a badass and I sincerely hope Rupert is playing Napoleon.

Also, regarding next week, as we'll have just moved, I don't know what the internet situation will be, but my campus is wireless so I might just run up to campus the next morning. All that means is I'll be a wee bit late on posting, but there will be a post!

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You need television - is it cable now? I can't keep up with you kids and your wacky technology. Find out and I'll sell some plasma to keep my Survivor blog fix going.
BEST.EPISODE.YET. If only, if only, Russell can be sent home next week. Sandra + Colby + Rupert + Pavarti = WIN. Oh, PLEASE let Rupert and Colby play Russell. Please. That's what I want for Mother's Day, albeit it will be a little late.
Excellent, as always. Don't be late next week. r.
Mom, it's a network so we can just plug the TV into the wall and get Survivor. No Mad Men this summer, though. :(

Jeff, thanks! I'll try not to be.
Thank you. I too noticed the rippling silicone and I'm like, wha...? Thank God I stayed natural.
Sandra is turning out to be a smartie pants.
This episode definitely made up for last one. Though I'm feeling a bit bad for Amanda. She was really settling in nicely to Ponderosa and now she gets stuck with both Candice and Danielle. Must have felt good, though, to watch them get booted off. Rupert can't really be bonding with Napoleon, can he?
I hate that rotten little weasel. I don't know if it is how they cut the shows or what, surely no one is as stupid as the people left on the Villains . I mean really? Did he think that they wouldn't talk? The stupid comes in to play when you realize that Pavarti didn't just keep her mouth shut to see what the weasels plan was from Danielle. Next week, Why on earth would Russell want to go to the end with Rupert, as it stands the jury spits on the ground every time he opens his mouth so even if it goes to a final two no one will vote for him AGAIN. Rupert and Colby and Sandra will fry the worms next week, so long Russell, so long Pavarti. On to the finale.
Where's aim and her celebratory cocktail? No pressure, aim - ! But this week SCREAMS for a really good drink!
Bobbot, there's no way Russell would bring Rupert to the final. He doesn't stand a chance against him. The problem is whether Rupert is smart enough to figure that out, and whether he knows Sandra's handwriting well enough to know she voted him out this week. Because Russell is going to gun for Sandra next week and then try and re-establish his alliance with either Pavarti, figuring she's the only one they all hate more than him. Or take Colby to the final because he's been so lame all season, could every one really vote for him. But if Rupert falls for that, then there really are no heroes. Sniff.
Is there ANYONE Napoleon could bring to the final who wouldn't get more votes than he? I don't know - depends if they buy into his "But I played the game so well" line, which as my eldest child has pointed out, is a bit of a stretch. He keeps forgetting the social aspect.
Deborah - Yay for staying natural! And I'm beginning to love Sandra, I don't even know how that happened.

Juliet - Now Amanda has something to actually whine about! I'm reeeally hoping Rupert is playing Napoleon. There's just no way Rupert would flip like that. He's too much of a man of principle.

Bobbot - I've been wondering the same thing. The stupidity boggles. I hope that turns out to be the pecking order, it would please me.

Mom - Also the Don't Be A Complete And Total Dumbass aspect. Subtle but crucial.
Wow. Congratulations. One of many "idiot" syncretist habits that I claim ...
I'll follow someone who I bumped into on the feed. Julis reminds me of Wa/Po's food critic, Ms. Black. She's great. She is in NYC, but takes a train ride nto DC. Hi You. You deserve a monetary raise for eating good food and giving great food critiques.
I reread this and hope I don't miss the future post.
Alexander Pope (not Roman Pope Bendedict) wroye in Nature;s vast Plan that even the maggor serves a clean-up purpose. The worms will clean the inside of cranial skulls.

Learn from both death and Life. W.H. Auden wrote:`

Death is the sound of distant thunder at picnic.
Henry Miller wrote:`

I have always looked upon decay as being just
as wonderful and rich an expression as growth.
Swami Vivekananda wrote:`

Death is oly change of condition:`
time and space are in you:`
You are in time and space.
Congrats on a good Editor Pick.
You deserve a green jade toothpick!
Who said?
The leaves move in the garden, the sky is so pale.
And I catch myself weeping. It is hard -- it is hard.
It's hard to make a good day when there's the war.
OMG - you got an Art James comment! You so totally rock (as does Art James).
He's bacccccccckkkkkkk . . .the spam kitty!