Note: I may be extra grumpy because I have not yet had dinner because my DORM WAS ON FIRE. You know, God forbid they replace the 40 year-old air conditioners.

Stupidest Tribe Name Ever, night 30. The Heroes are most displeased with Candice's flip. No one has anything nice to say about her. It's all very amusing. Rupert says, "Colby and I are standing on a sinking ship. There are no other Heroes." Dun dun dun!

Seriously Rename This Tribe, day 31. Napoleon is incredibly pleased with himself, completely ignoring the fact that absolutely nothing he did has anything to do with why Candice and Sandra voted with him last night. I mean, of course, the world revolves around you, you special snowflake! Rupert notes that Napoleon is slime. They both have a second grade fight over the fire. Delightful.

Immunity challenge. It's that one balance challenge where you're chained to a bucket. After one minute, Jeff decides to offer them something to tempt them down. Before even seeing it, Napoleon and Sandra step out. It turns out to be cookies and milk. Next up are donuts and iced coffee. Colby steps out. 35 minutes later, Candice asks Danielle if Parvati can hold out because someone needs to beat Rupert. Whatever, Candice, I am so done. Jerri, Danielle, and Candice drop out for PB&J sandwiches. Rupert slips and Parvati wins. Jeff reads the clue to the hidden immunity idol out loud to everyone. Something about a burning bush. They don't pay the clue-writers enough.

Back at camp, everyone looks for the burning bush. Short of a sign from God, nobody knows exactly what they're looking for. It's hilarious. "Isn't a burning bush red?" "I dunno." Sandra finds another clue but she hides it somewhere else, planning to read it later. Rupert sticks a rock in his pocket hoping it looks like he has the idol. Napoleon plans to get rid of Rupert anyway. Oh, Sandra says she has the idol. Did she get it? Okay then. Scrambling commences. The Villain girls talk about getting rid of Candice. Colby and Rupert discuss saving themselves and getting rid of Candice. Ooh, this would delight me.

Tribal. Wow, we're twenty minutes in. This is going to be fun. Amanda joins the jury, still looking like the biggest whiner ever. There's some bitching about Candice and strategy. Napoleon basically flat-out says Rupert's going home tonight. Colby says, "I can say I'm proud of the way I played this game," flips over his vote for Candice and says, "Can you?" BAMF! I forgot how much I like Colby. Rupert makes it look like he's going to play an idol but he doesn't. Napoleon looks kind of upset. Votes: oh, we're going to commercial. Fine. I'll go reheat some chow mein.

Om nom nom. Okay. Votes: Rupert, Rupert, Rupert, Candice, Candice, Candice, Candice, Candice. Bye, Candice. Colby grins, Amanda grins, Danielle pouts, but I think her mouth might be stuck that way. Jeff sends them back to camp, but we're only halfway through the hour.

Also, I wasn't paying attention to the first part of her sentence, but Candice said something upon being voted out about karma being a bitch. Isn't it just, sweetie? Isn't it just?

Napoleon is once again shocked, just shocked that things didn't go his way. Sooner or later he's going to need to stop being shocked. The girls tell Napoleon that Rupert must not have the idol. Napoleon is worried that he has to share control of the game with Parvati. It's so precious how he thinks he's still in charge at all. Live the dream, cupcake!

Next immunity challenge. Race to get a peg to maneuver through a maze, then use more pegs to climb a wall, then solve a puzzle. Rupert, Sandra, Napoleon, Parvati, and Danielle get through the maze. Napoleon, Rupert, and Parvati make it up the wall. Sandra puzzles as to how to get down. Napoleon wins immunity.

Symbolic rain back at camp. Parvati giggles that there will be "noooooooooo Heroes left" after tonight. I...sweetie, you only get to vote out one of them. I'm not that good at math, but I can count to two. Napoleon says he wants to get rid of Parvati. Danielle doesn't want to do that. Also, her silicone is rippling and it's really weirding me out. Napoleon tells Parvati to get rid of Danielle. I'm beginning to wonder if Napoleon remembers there are other people in the game. Parvati...no way. Parvati believes Napoleon when he says that Danielle's saying she wants to vote her out. She says she's going to talk to Danielle. Napoleon flips and tells her not to. The girls talk to each other about what Napoleon said to each of them. WOW, WHO COULD HAVE FORSEEN THIS HAPPENSTANCE? I will never understand the people that think Napoleon always plays a perfect game, because this? This is ENTIRELY PREDICTABLE. They are BESTEST BEST FRIENDS. OF COURSE THEY'RE GOING TO TALK. THERE WAS NO WAY TO PULL THAT OFF AT ALL EVER. You muttonhead. Anyway. Napoleon tells Colby to vote Sandra. Rupert axes a tree and sadly not Napoleon's head. Jerri says she's voting for Rupert no matter what anyone else says. Napoleon tells Jerri to vote for Danielle. Jerri says she won't, and Napoleon tells Jerri she's next. Rupert overhears.

Tribal again. Dragon Slayer is wearing a shirt that says "Dragonz." Candice is wearing her best bitch face. Rupert says Parvati and Napoleon are running the show. Napoleon gives the jury a look like he expects them to worship at his feet. They are having none of it. Parvati and Danielle tell Jeff what Napoleon tried to pull with them today. Jeff says, "So, Russell, you got caught." He denies it. Danielle calls bullshit. Napoleon says he was just trying to see where she stands. It's so cute how he thinks he's smart at all. Danielle is crying. Someone on the jury says, "Boo-hoo." Napoleon thinks he could've gotten away with this Danielle/Parvati thing. Danielle goes, "Uh, no." Seriously. He's rivaling JT for Stupidest Move Ever. Remember that time I told you to get rid of Napoleon early? I.E. Every week? But what do I know. Votes: Rupert, Rupert, Rupert, Danielle, Danielle, Danielle, Danielle. Bye, Danielle. Parvati is displeased. JT winks at Rupert.

Next week: Sandra is a badass and I sincerely hope Rupert is playing Napoleon.

Also, regarding next week, as we'll have just moved, I don't know what the internet situation will be, but my campus is wireless so I might just run up to campus the next morning. All that means is I'll be a wee bit late on posting, but there will be a post!