The famous Los Angeles Mexican Restaurant El Coyote is at the center of directed anger over the passing of Prop 8. It seems the manager and owner's daughter, Marjorie Christoffersen, donated money through her Mormon church to Yes on Prop 8. For those who don't already know, Prop 8 bans gay marriages in the state of California and was passed in the November 4th election. Sad but true. As word got out about Ms. Christoffersen's donation, many in the community talked of a boycott. In an attempt to get in front of that potentially disastrous demonstration, El Coyote held a press conference today. There, the floor manager stated that "El Coyote DOES NOT share the same views as Marjorie." He also stated that 89 families would be effected if the restaurant were boycotted to which a community member responded, "18,000 families already HAVE been affected!"
According to shutupiknow.blogspot.com, Ms. Christoffersen came out and spoke to the crowd. She asked for forgiveness and said that "El Coyote is as diverse as its clientele. Customers are considered part of the family and I responded to the call of the Mormon Church to donate." She continued, "It saddens me that my faith keeps you away from The Coyote. I can not and WILL NOT change my lifelong commitment to the Mormon Church. I can not and will not change my commitment to you." Another community member asked her if she was willing to donate to No on Prop 8 and Ms. Christoffersen apparently started crying and said, "I will not." That's when the place went wild. One of Ms. Christoffersen's daughters stepped up and said, "The church just tells you when to donate, it doesn't tell you how to vote. It very, very rarely tells you how to vote. Marjorie is your friend-" at which point someone yelled, "SHE IS NOT MY FRIEND. FRIENDS DON'T HELP TAKE THE RIGHTS AWAY OF OTHER FRIENDS AND THEN BLAME IT ON THEIR CHURCH!" People applauded. When also asked if she would do anything to counteract what she had done, Ms. Christoffersen replied, "No" at which point the place went wild again with calls of "This is Bullshit!" and "Boycott El Coyote!"as Ms. Christoffersen was escorted out of the room.
While I am actively opposed to Prop 8, voted against it on November 4th and hope to see it torn down, I have mixed feelings about boycotting El Coyote. Well, let me rephrase that: I'm already boycotting El Coyote, but only because the food sucks. Not for Ms. Christoffersen's unfortunate views. And while I find it sad that Ms. Christoffersen and her church have such backward views of people and the world, I don't think the restaurant itself should pay for her personal beliefs. There are many staff members at El Coyote who are gay and many others who I am sure voted against Prop 8, maybe even donated their hard-earned money to the cause. To ask Ms. Christoffersen to choose between her beliefs and the success of her restaurant and its employees seems somehow unfair. Unless I'm missing something. Emotions are high and Prop 8 is a big deal as it limits people's rights and will amend the Constitution to NOT allow someone to have the same rights as another, as we once did when it was illegal for a black person and a white person to marry. Shameful days, indeed. However, I support Ms. Christoffersen's right to have her own opinion and make her own choices. This is America. And Ms. Christoffersen and the Mormon church are NOT El Coyote and its employees.
And while we're on the subject, if there's anyone left out there who hasn't already seen Keith Olbermann's take on Prop 8, you can watch it now. I will say that I sometimes find Olbermann to be a bit overdramatic and slightly self-righteous in his commentaries. Even though I often share his opinions. And here he makes quite an impassioned commentary on the sad state of affairs that allowed Prop 8 to pass. Very worth a listen. But I still don't support a boycott of El Coyote. Unless it's for the bad food.
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And thanks for the Olbermann insert. That's the best thing I've ever heard him say.
Every El Coyote patron is going to have to decide whether their support for same-sex marriage is worth throwing the already-low-income families of 89 workers into poverty, but there are ways to mitigate that somewhat. How many would consider helping those employees find new jobs? Or making sure they had food and housing?
Several years ago, a similar conflict faced a proposed boycott of fast-food restaurants that buy from vegetable producers that pay their pickers extremely low wages. What if nothing was accomplished but to put a whole bunch of people out of work? Do we have a different responsibility to people in our own communities than to people farther away?
Hard questions, but seeing the nuances certainly helps in the decisions.
You seemed to miss the point of what I wrote. or perhaps I wasn't clear. I, too, hate that anyone has to wait for equal rights. And I would never ask anyone to support a restaurant that does not support equal rights. And I'm not asking you personally to support El Coyote. However, what I am saying is that the manager of El Coyote gave money privately through her church to support her personal belief. It was not done through the restaurant or any corporation affiliated with the restaurant. And the restaurant staff and floor manager have publicly stated that they DO NOT share Marjorie's views. Had this been done as El Coyote, then the boycott would be fair in my eyes. As it stands now, you are asking others, beyond yourself, to inflict damage on an establishment that does not, itself, support Yes on Prop 8. I understand that the money Marjorie makes in her life comes from her job at El Coyote, but I have to support EVERY individuals right to make their own decisions about what they believe in politically, socially, financially and religiously. Even if I find it sad and unfortunate and extremely closed-minded. In my opinion, we must all be careful to not discriminate against other people's beliefs and their right to have those beliefs and express them in their private lives. If Marjorie had hung Yes on Prop 8 signs up at the restaurant, or had made a donation to that cause through the restaurant, that would be a whole other situation, But that's not this one. This is a slippery slope and, I believe at the moment, one that has more to do with hurt, betrayal and anger than with reason. I do not see ANYTHING POSITIVE coming from this boycott. What I see is a widening of the gap of understanding. We should all be more evolved than Marjorie. And in doing so we should understand her in a way she seems unable, currently, to understand you and your rights fully. However, with a different approach, one of education and understanding, she may have come around, or a nugget of truth may have been placed in her heart and mind that may have manifested into something wonderful. Remember, many of her favorite customers are gays and lesbians. She is someone who has real faces to place on the choices she is making; she has people who could directly express their hurt, sadness and sense of betrayal to her directly. People she sees as human beings, despite her inability to currently comprehend what her actions mean to your life. This was a wonderful opportunity potentially lost in a maelstrom of anger and disappointment. What has been achieved, most likely, is a deeper rift. Marjorie will most likely embrace her church and its community even more deeply now. When I learned my sister was going to vote for McCain, I called her up and, instead of yelling or accusing or telling her she needed to change her views, I told her I was here to answer questions she may have and to help her understand exactly what she was doing so that when she voted, no matter who she voted for, she would be voting from a place of understanding and not just blindly hearing talking points and/or misinformation. We then talked for an hour and a half. She thanked me for this approach and shared with me that when our father had gotten angry with her and had thought her crazy for voting for McCain, that reaction made her want to vote for McCain even more. Not a very logical reaction, but a strong emotional one. And an understandable one. My instinct was to get upset and rant at my sister, but I refrained, asked myself what I wanted the result of my conversation with her to be, and changed my approach. I respected her. And she listened and engaged. That does not mean she voted for Obama, I truthfully don't know who she voted for. But there's a chance she did, where before there was none.
So, while I do understand the emotions at play here and mean in no way to diminish or belittle them, I do believe that what is happening over at El Coyote is not something that will help the cause, but simply help fuel more anger, hatred, resentment and, ultimately, result in more people taking a longer time in coming around to understanding this. Marjorie is not a villain. She is a human being. And right now she's one of those people who will soon be relegated to those unfortunate few who can't let go of their frightened beliefs, like those who still maintain that blacks or women should not share equal rights. But Marjorie is also one of those people caught in a very confusing and difficult position. She is being asked to choose between her church, religious community, and lifelong beliefs and her friends, patrons, and public community. This is not a choice that most people will be able to make overnight. It's confusing and frightening. It requires a complete reworking of how you see the world,who you trust, what you've believed in the past, what you feel in your gut. Given time, patience and understanding, Marjorie COULD become one of your greatest supporters. But that will never happen if you force her or try and punish her for her personal beliefs and her right to engage them. Again, I'm talking personal not professional here.
No one can stop gays and lesbians from attaining their equal rights. It's happening. Here. Now. The fact that this was even up for a vote, the fact that there are protests, the fact that stars and newscasters and journalists, mothers, fathers, kids are all speaking out publicly against Prop 8 is momentous. And growth and change is painful. And that's where we are. In the midst of growth and change. And all I ask is that we find ways to embrace that which will move us forward quicker, that which will educate, that which will close the divide and the misunderstanding. And not that which will fuel the hate and sense of victimization. That is too easy a path to go down. And that will make the whole process longer and even more painful. Ask what you want your end result to be. And then ask what is the best, smartest, most evolved way to go about attaining it. If you think boycotting El Coyote is the way, then it is your right to do so and I support your right. However, I will be taking a different path.
Why do you keep referring to Marjorie as the manager? Her family owns the restaurant!
I too feel sympathy for the workers there but is it our responsibility to continue to patronize a restaurant where we feel unwelcome?
STOP ASKING A MARGINALIZED GROUP TO BE LESS ANGRY!
You don't even like the food there so what are you talking about?
People have been boycotting businesses for years for various reasons. I've always respected them. It's one way we express ourselves in a capitalist nation.
You're patronizing posts show me the kind of person you are. You can marry the person you love, I can't.
You think boycotting a Mexican restaurant that gay people thought was gay-friendly is counterproductive, I think it's our way of saying we're not going to give you our money for you to use against us.
You're a straight person lecturing gay people. You're just rubbing salt into our newly re-opened wound.