Look at my Happy Rainbow!

My journey as a male kindergarten teacher

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Salon.com
APRIL 5, 2012 5:00PM

Jobs.

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Today, Mrs. D. and I were chatting about the many, many, MANY jobs we have as kindergarten teachers.  We had a little fun and brainstormed a list:

  • Parent – Like it or not, we spend more time with some of our kids than their parents do.  We give more hugs, hold more hands, and wipe more tears than anyone out there.  It’s wonderful.
  • Police – We enforce the rules.
  • Detective - We investigate all the time… many mysteries go unsolved and I’m not ashamed to admit I’ve thrown the custodian under the bus on more than one occasion… “I don’t know, I guess Mrs. R. threw it away!”
  • Social Worker – I’m lucky our school has an amazing social worker, but I find myself dealing with kids and parents in crisis all the time.  When you’re trusted and loved, it’s part of the job.
  • Nurse – I have no actual medical training, but I can slap a band-aid on like a serious professional.
  • Hairdresser – Not my area of expertise.  Lucky for me, my clientele is not so discriminating.  I’ve had many an adult laugh at my attempts to pull a girl’s hair back with an elastic, but the child is always pleased.
  • Comedian – Nobody in the entire universe is funnier than me when you’re five.
  • Singer – The folks at American Idol, The X Factor, and The Voice should be knocking down my door… well that’s why sprouts would tell you anyway.
  • Dancer – Again, no professional training, but my kids can all do The Robot and Sprinkler so how bad can I be?
  • Counselor – Really, half the time, just listening does the trick.
  • Dresser – I don’t dress kids, but I do tie shoes, zip zippers, and snap a ton of buttons.  
  • Saint – Really, does this one need an explanation?

This is by no means an exhaustive list.  I’m sure some have been forgotten… can you add any?

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