Reader's Note:  This is the continuing story of "The Rodeo Clown."

Michelle Obama Medical Center

Washington DC 

Patient:  Ambo Parsons Jr.

Height:  6’ 2”                             Weight:  235 pounds

Age: 49

Occupation:  Rodeo Clown

Physique:  Good/Average/Poor  EXtraordinary                             

Blood Pressure: 118/80         

Heart Rate: (Resting) 35 beats/min; (Following Exertion) 36 beats/min 

Laboratory Examination:

Tests conducted: Complete blood count; Blood group ABO, RH and Kell and blood group antibody screening; Urinalysis; RPR/VDRL; Hepatitis B antigen Hepatitis C antibodies; HIV antibodies; Mantoux test for TB; ECG: Exercise Stress Test

Report:  CONFIDENTIAL   Evidence of sustained use of Androstenedione5 (Andro5); muscular density and strength is disproportionate to size and age of subject; possible evidence of extreme behavior and emotional side effects

 Physicians Report: 

This is an extremely sensitive case and merits careful handling.  After the disastrous results of the 2012 Summer Olympic Games in London, new testing and new rules governing the use of Performance Enhancing Drugs has been mandated throughout professional sports.  All competing collegiate and professional athletes now submit to greatly enhanced and more thorough testing measures.  

This is particularly true in testing for the newly refined anabolic steroid, Androstenedione5.  Following the deaths in London and particularly those tragedies associated with weight lifting, Andro5 has now been deemed illegal to use for any reason, including medically motivated reasons. These new measures have been adopted and rigidly enforced by the World Anti-Doping Agency, International Olympic Committee, the NCAA, the NFL, the PGA, and the men’s and women’s tennis tours. 

The Professional Rodeo Association has been slower to adopt these provisions, but today it submits routine reports of testing measures conducted at every sanctioned rodeo event.   Unfortunately, these measures and urine tests have only been conducted on the rodeo riders and competitors.  They have not required the rodeo clowns to submit to testing.  

Personal Notes and Observations 

Mr. Parsons displays marked physical and behavioral evidence of prolonged Andro5 abuse over a period of several years.   This is a 49 year old man with the superior, physical characteristics of a man in his early twenties.   As a result of his substance abuse, his body exhibits a lean muscle mass and strength that is almost freakish in context.   He is faster and stronger and more durable than a normal man.   He also apparently heals faster than would be considered normal.  (The severity of the current injuries to his face and hands apparently happened early during the initial stages of his exposure to Andro5. It is further apparent that Andro5 has no regenerative capabilities.)   His treatment here under my care after being severely mauled recently by a stampeding bull, should have required no less than six weeks of care.   Mr. Parsons exhibited no further need for physical treatment, or therapy, after just 9 days.

I am taking extreme steps in filing this report because of my well-justified concerns for the mental and emotional stability of Mr. Parsons.   The cyclical aggressive episodes that are the direct result of prolonged Andro5 usage are well known.  For whatever reason, it appears that Ambo Parsons has been taking Andro5 longer and in greater doses than any known subject on record.   While in our care he exhibited extremely aggressive and violent outbursts in a manner that was disproportionate to the stimuli.   We have recorded instances of delusional behavior and extremely violent mood swings.  Both employees and other patients are afraid of this man.  (I am afraid of this man.)  In consideration of his accelerated physical attributes, I believe it is appropriate to report my assertion that Ambo Parsons is an extremely dangerous entity.

As he has broken no laws, I can only appeal to the Professional Rodeo Association to take urgent steps to curtail the usage of Andro5 by Mr. Parsons and other clowns who might also abuse this dangerous substance.  It is believed that he is currently residing here in Washington DC.  I truly view this as the proverbial bull in a china shop.  (No pun intended.) I am convinced that Mr. Parsons cannot safely function in residential or urban settings without endangering the public.  This man is a walking time bomb ready to explode.

Stephen Saunders, MD

Director, Laboratory Services

Obama Medical Center

Washington DC

  To Be Continued