Yet another day in the life of Alexander Cheney first introduced in Cheney's Gift.  The narrator is Alexander Cheney himself.  

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I can’t say that I ever heard the old girl say a blessed word.  Not one. 

Then today as we were leaving the dining room I could suddenly hear that little white-haired honey from the North corridor, complaining about her meal.  

“But I don’t like thpinach,” she was saying. 

She was talking to “Genghis,” the Asian man who worked as a nurses attendant here at the Nursing Home.  I called him Genghis cause I’ve seen him running around here flirtin’ and messin’ with the others attendants. And I just knew he had some conquering in mind. Hah!  But the boy must be blind.  He was even talkin’ up old "Barney Rubble" with her bad face.   Hee hee.  Boy must be blind.

But that woman spoke with a lisp!  Serious lisp too. Probably spittin’ all over herself. 

I immediately craned my neck to look over at her now because this was new information.  When I could finally see her... my gift took hold. 

These folks don’t understand what happens to me at times like this.  They think I am having a blackout.  But what really happens, is that my gift allows me to recognize a single trait or behavior in one of these "old girls" here in the Home with me and I can immediately see what she used to look like back in the day.  If they are in their 90s, then my gift will likely associate her with one of the golden stars of the 1930s.  If she’s 80-something, she will likely be one of my dream girls from the 40s.  The youngsters in their 70s, and there are only a few of them in here… well, who knows who will show up.  (There’s one chickee in here who becomes Lizzie Taylor every damn time.  Hee hee.  That Lizzie was sumthin’ I’ll tell you.) 

But when my gift brings back one of my Cheney Girls… I can’t hear or see or feel anything else, and everybody thinks I’m having a blackout.  But what I am really having is the time of my life… and I never know in advance which Cheney Girl is hiding inside. 

But the lisp was familiar.  I couldn’t place it until I looked over to find the owner of that speech implement…. uhhhh speech immediate…. errr… speech impeccable… ahh hell, the woman who was talkin’ funny.   And then I saw her.

Now I was still in my chair but it seemed like I was floating more than rolling….and I was floating down a wide center aisle toward a massive and ornately decorated stage.  I knew there was music playing but I could not hear it.  The elegant theater was packed with people, men and women but mostly men.  Some of them were looking at me, fully recognizing my right to be there.   The rest were looking at the magnificent woman on stage.  Sally Rand.

I’d first seen Sally at the Chicago World’s Fair in 1933.  She was featured in the Streets of Paris concession doing this amazing “Fan Dance” that was unlike anything we’d ever seen at the time.  The rumor was that she was probably wearing some kind of skin colored body stocking the whole time… but damned if it didn’t look like she was buck-ass-nekkid behind these two big seven-foot ostrich feathers.  That chile would dance around, flippin’ those feathers this way and that way and we’d be praying that she’d drop them both.  Hee hee ... just drop em. 

She was a short and truly beautiful woman with a perfect body.  Perfect! And this was just about the time that the silent films were giving way to the talkies.  But I’d heard Sally speak once in an interview at the fair... and that girl had a lisp that was all to be damned.  Girl couldn’t buy an “s.”  Funniest thing you ever heard.   I told her… I said you just stand there with your little nekkid self and look pretty.  But keep your damn mouth shut!!!  Hee hee… said it to myself see.  Hee hee. 

Aww that was funny.

But the woman standing on the stage in front of me… was my Sally Rand.  My Cheney Girl… and she wasn’t wearing no damn body stocking either.  She was positively gleaming… with the most luxurious looking ostrich feathers imaginable in each hand.  Unlike when I’d seen her at the fair… she wore pretty little jewels on her boobies and her privates … but more than covering her up... they seemed to emphasize and highlight her charms.  She actually seemed more incredibly nekkid with them on than she would have without them.

And she was looking directly at me. 

Now it was obvious to all that she was dancing for me.  Aside from being the envy of every man there… it’s as if I was part of the show.  I floated directly up and onto the stage now… allowing her to incorporate me in her performance. 

It was like the most elaborate lap dance the world has ever seen.  From my perspective, however, it was like making love to an angel among the clouds.  It was hard to believe that there were only two feathers because they seemed like they were everywhere.  They seemed to float around to provide us with a bit of privacy while she kissed me deeply, exploring my mouth with her tongue and biting me gently on my neck.   Then it was as if I could feel the feathers across areas of my body that I thought were clothed.

But I was now as nekkid as Sally. 

You would think I’d be unhappy about all of this … being up on stage in front of people in my altogether and such … except that I couldn’t see anyone else any more.  The feathers completely screened us from onlookers so that I couldn’t even be sure they were still there.   I was looking to see if I could see anybody now… with both hands covering up my privates just in case.

Then Sally reached around from behind me and pulled me close to her.   I looked down and could see in her hands, she was holding the pretty nipple jewelry that she had been wearing before-hand.  That meant that the pointy-things that I could feel pressing into my back… were the pointy-things she’d been born with. 

She was reaching around my body with both hands and pushing the jewelry into my hands.  Then she began gripping my John Henry with both of her now empty hands and stroking it to full length.  I looked down in wide-eyed wonder as I watched her stroke and grip me, feeling her rubbing herself against my back.  I could tell from her movements that she was getting exciting from the feel of rubbing herself against the skin on my back.

Then as I began to….   ARRRRGGGHHHHH!

I could suddenly feel the cold ridges of the bed pan beneath my bony ass.  “Genghis” and “Barney Rubble” were standing on either side of my bed watching me expectantly. The hand I’d envisioned from Sally was actually “Genghis” directing me into the bed pan.

Well ain’t that a damn shame?