First it was Patton slapping a soldier, forcing Ike to order him to apologize. Now here we are over 50 years later in a scandal even greater than Patton's, bringing Open Salon to the brink of crisis. Criticism of the editors is undermining the very foundation of our blogging empire and morale is suffering among the rank and file.
But in a bold decision, Zerry has put his foot down, ordering his most favorite general into the breech of apologia. The honor and reputation of OS is far more important than any one person. The Blogger Internet Complex must be contained before it gets completely out of hand. I, for one, salute Zhomas in owning up to his mistakes and standing here before us today to heal the wounds of sins past.
For the movie illiterate...
Original apology from the film:
PATTON:
At ease.
I thought I'd stand up here
and let you people see. . .
. . .if I am as big a son of a bitch
as some of you think I am.
I assure you I had no intention. . .
. . .of being either harsh or cruel
in my treatment of the. . .
. . .soldier in question.
My sole purpose was to try
to restore in him. . .
. . .some appreciation of his
obligations as a man. . .
. . .and as a soldier.
If one can shame a coward. . .
. . .I felt one might help him
to regain his self-respect.
This was on my mind.
Now, I freely admit. . .
. . .that my method was wrong. . .
. . .but I hope you understand
my motive. . .
. . .and will accept this. . .
. . .explanation. . .
. . .and this. . .
. . .apology.
At ease.
I thought I'd stand up here
and let you people see. . .
. . .if I am as big a son of a bitch
as some of you think I am.
I assure you I had no intention. . .
. . .of being either harsh or cruel
in my treatment of the. . .
. . .soldier in question.
My sole purpose was to try
to restore in him. . .
. . .some appreciation of his
obligations as a man. . .
. . .and as a soldier.
If one can shame a coward. . .
. . .I felt one might help him
to regain his self-respect.
This was on my mind.
Now, I freely admit. . .
. . .that my method was wrong. . .
. . .but I hope you understand
my motive. . .
. . .and will accept this. . .
. . .explanation. . .
. . .and this. . .
. . .apology.
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Darla Carmichael
OS Weekend Fiction Club
rmgosselin
Writer to the Stars
emma peel 2
Mission
Salon.com
Comments
And yes . . . it was funny . . . very funny . . .
Yeah, a little glitch there. You can make them walk through walls too. Still learning!
Diana, it's easy when you're stealing :)
Capn, why would anyone stick his tongue out at you?
-R-
If nothing else, we have the most creative and funny stuff that I've seen in a long time.
xl, glad you're into the spirit of things!