Sarcasm Alley

In the Land of Milk and Honey when you die they think it's funny

cheshyre grin

cheshyre grin
Location
Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come
Birthday
January 01
Title
The One True
Company
An ill-favoured thing, sir, but mine own.
Bio
Quit your snooping, bitch.

MY RECENT POSTS

MY RECENT COMMENTS

Cheshyre grin's Links

Fort Worth Japanese Gardens
My Opus
Lives Fallen Through The Cracks
Goupil, The Assassin
Meta Movies
Oda Nobunaga, Warlord of Japan
Photo Essays
Sei Shonagon & The Japans
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JANUARY 15, 2009 10:12PM

They Tried To Give Me A Pill

They tried to give me a pill.
When I told them my soul was dying
They tried to give me a pill.
I was in a place of neglect,
Old linoleum and ripped apart furniture
Told you all you needed to know.
It was the Official Place for help,
A place for Sterilization.
I sat listening to a… Read full post »

4 Comments
JANUARY 14, 2009 4:03AM

Great Films of The Japans

My dear and beloved Japan stirs ancient feelings in me that echo across the centuries. My time there was during the Sengoku Jidai, the Era of Warring States in the 16th Century - a time of chaos, cruelty and cunning. However, in the end it left me with a revulsion for/… Read full post »
4 Comments
JANUARY 13, 2009 8:27PM

So Lord, Won't You Buy Me A Lexus SUV?

I see this is some sort of oh-fish-ill contest so I'll guess I'll have lay off the dirty words like shit, fuck and Republicunt. Just let me spit out my cigarette, tuck in me shirt and straighten me back so I can writes me a proper essay out here on the… Read full post »

6 Comments
JANUARY 13, 2009 3:17PM

A Darkie In The White House!

"Tuesday, Nov. 4, 2008, is a date that will live in fame (the opposite of infamy) forever. If the election of our first African-American president didn’t stir you, if it didn’t leave you teary-eyed and proud of your country, there’s something wrong with you."
-Paul Krugman (wh… Read full post »

2 Comments
JANUARY 13, 2009 1:49AM

Hell's Laughter

one of the things i did to drive people away was to pour gasoline on myself and now i can't get it off...dear god in heaven, somebody please help me...it's crawling on me like ants and I'm going out of my mind...these fumes are clouding my head - i can't think… Read full post »

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JANUARY 13, 2009 1:10AM

Supermarket Superstars


I was standing in line in the grocery store the other day, holding my usual piddling amount of provisions ("Why don't you ever buy a full basket like everyone else? Freak.") I never have any patience stuck in a line, waiting for the spotlight of fraud to shine upon me. Even/… Read full post »
2 Comments
JANUARY 11, 2009 1:13AM

"Jimmy our busboy is a director."

Ignominious (Ä­g'no-mÄ­n'Ä“-os) shameful; dishonorable; disgraceful; contemptible; despicable; degrading; humiliating

The title of this post is a quote taken from "The Big Picture". The protagonist has graduated from film school, signed a deal and bought a Porsche… Read full post »
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JANUARY 10, 2009 11:40AM

You talking to me, boy?

"This guy was ridiculous! He was like, "Who the fuck are you to tell me anything? Huh, fuckwad? What makes you so goddam smart you can tell me what to do in my life? Just what exactly is it that makes you so f'ing qualified? I'm sick of you goddam

… Read full post »
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JANUARY 10, 2009 12:12AM

Kakushi-toride no san-akunin

The title of this post is the Japanese name for Akira Kurosawa's favorite film he made, Hidden Fortress. It's my favorite film of his also. It's the most life affirming of all his efforts. In the chaos of ancient Japan, the Akizuki clan has been destroyed. All that remains is the… Read full post »

5 Comments
JANUARY 9, 2009 11:40PM

Bring Me the Head of Harry Homeless

I have never believed I was meant to be happy. Oh, I know philosophically speaking God wants everyone to be happy and blah, blah, blah. It just doesn't mean anything in practical terms. Jesus wasn't meant to live happily ever after but I am?? Come on. We kill happy people in… Read full post »
5 Comments
JANUARY 9, 2009 12:56AM

The Obituary of Harry Homeless

"Whatch writin'?"
"My obituary."
"Bitch-you-airy? You gonna die or sumpthin'?"
"Most people do."
"I mean, whatcha writin' it now fer?"
I lifted my eyeballs to stare into his. "Because if I don't, who will?"
That he understood.

--------------------------------------

She spoke to any who would l… Read full post »

6 Comments
JANUARY 7, 2009 10:45PM

Hug A Terrorist Today

PRESIDENT NOT TO SEEK TERRORISTS

(AP) President Igor announced today he will not seek out the terrorists responsible for the recent spate of bombings killing many innocent lives.
"They are probably just misguided, not knowing what they are doing," he symapthized. "Let's just leave them be. I/… Read full post »

1 Comments
JANUARY 7, 2009 10:17PM

Oda Nobunaga's Great Moment


From the Asian point of view a sword fight is a mental battle as opposed to the western idea of it being a physical confrontation. The physical aspect of the fight is merely a playing out of a mental battle already fought. I remember watching a Japanese film once where two… Read full post »

6 Comments
JANUARY 7, 2009 2:09PM

Church Pees On Jobless, Tells Them It's Raining

"Dear God, please let me keep my money -
oh yeah, and them other fuckers' too."

At first I thought it was a Monty Python skit:

Church Of England Publishes Prayers For Those Being Made Redundant

But no, 'tis real life satire. Read it and weep:

The Church… Read full post »
2 Comments
JANUARY 6, 2009 9:40PM

The Closed Eye Sleeps Well


Yes sir, I am a Trusting Soul;
You've come to do me right!
You're not like the evil mole
Stealthing in the night.

You brought me lovely flowers -
So what if they are wilted?
Forgetting me for hours,
At least I was not jilted.

For no future can ever be
If my life is not a dream;
Why should/… Read full post »

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JANUARY 6, 2009 9:27PM

Show Me What You're Made Of, Madoff

I saw this funny headline on MSN: What punishment could fit Madoff? Here's a little taste of the article:

Media accounts immediately labeled the disappearance of $50 billion, masterminded by Bernard Madoff, as the largest fraud in history.

It is a greater wealth loss than having

… Read full post »
1 Comments
JANUARY 5, 2009 10:39PM

Tom Bombadil Ate Fruit Loops For Fun

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I thought I'd make the world a better place - for him and me and all of us. But mostly for me. His words were acid and his deeds bent. What was I supposed to do? Love him? So I shot him down to watch someone else bleed like… Read full post »
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JANUARY 5, 2009 10:48AM

The Sinking of the S.S. Capitalism

The glorious ship was sinking. Blindly sneering at all obstacles, it hit an iceberg and - they said - was mortally wounded. The riders had had the good life on board (at least those not toiling in the furnaces below) but now it was time to head to the life boats… Read full post »

1 Comments
JANUARY 4, 2009 2:02PM

Her Moral Affair

"If he touches me again, I'll kill him." Her chest was heaving with anger as she drove the familiar route back to the house. Wrapped in an up-model SUV, a cold mid-winter light shone through the tempered glass giving the surrounding world a surreal patina. It disoriented her, feeling as… Read full post »
7 Comments
DECEMBER 29, 2008 11:14PM

New Year's Naked Run

Hey, gang! Gather up the kiddies and Fido and Fluffy cuz I got a heartwarming tale of family fun for you! It's all about my most memorable New Years! One year, bored with the usual routine of jetting to Switzerland to ski the Alps, I decided to absorb the local nightlife… Read full post »
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DECEMBER 29, 2008 10:33PM

Of Mortification and Sarcasm

Before I made my appearance on the Letterman show I was asked if I could tell a funny story about myself to which I thought, "Oh goody! I get to be homeless and funny." But my verbal reply was to merely squirm and say, "Oh, sure." I guess my act/… Read full post »

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DECEMBER 28, 2008 4:16PM

There Are No Economic Problems, Only Moral Solutions

I saw a posting by Arianna Huffington (whom I love) on Huffington Post calling for the death of laissez faire capitalism. She joins a chorus of other voices with similar calls for a nice tight regulation of our greed. But don't not nobody see what wrong wit dat picture: "See,/… Read full post »

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DECEMBER 23, 2008 6:39PM

R.I.P. New York Yankees

 
All my life I've been a Yankees fan and today they are dead to me.  They have become a team run by those who spit on the pinstripes and their heritage.  It's not just a matter of winning or losing, it's a matter of respect.  The Yankees have lost all self-respect… Read full post »

10 Comments
DECEMBER 22, 2008 12:56AM

The Final Argument

"Look, you sorry fuck, I know what the truth is. Everyone around me knows it too and they all agree with me. It's been voted on for Christ's sake. You want to tell me everyone is wrong and you're right? You want to tell me my whole life has been a/… Read full post »
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DECEMBER 21, 2008 2:03AM

I'm optimistic! Are you??

"Thinking of you, GW" 

[Ac·count·a·bil·i·ty] n. Accountability is a concept in ethics with several meanings. It is often used synonymously with such concepts as responsibility,answerability, enforcement, blameworthiness, liability and other terms associ/… Read full post »

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