Sarcasm Alley

In the Land of Milk and Honey when you die they think it's funny

cheshyre grin

cheshyre grin
Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come
January 01
The One True
An ill-favoured thing, sir, but mine own.
Quit your snooping, bitch.


Cheshyre grin's Links

OS Interview
Goupil, The Assassin
OS Meta Movies
Oda Nobunaga
The Japans
Fort Worth Japanese Garden
Photo Essays

"Sometimes I feel like I'm from another planet, sent to exterminate humans for the greater good of mankind."

The four other men in the cramped, undecorated military room looked at one another in silent disgust. But they were a unit and "The Scythe", as he was/…

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APRIL 17, 2014 9:57PM

Sobering Talk On Obamacare

If people ask me if I have an agenda I say I do: we should not be fucking people. And if someone asks me why I am appalled by Obamacare that is the reason why. In its totality it is the greatest economic betrayal in American history./…

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APRIL 16, 2014 6:02AM

I Don't Believe You

He came through the front door of the house with packages under each arm nudging open the door with his knee. "Honey, I'm home. I got you the things you wanted just like you said, even if it did take my whole paycheck."

"You motherfucker! What/…

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APRIL 13, 2014 9:17AM

I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings

I had a viral video once. I was king for a day! Praise poured in from around the world. Both left and right lauded me. "SEE WHAT YOU CAN LEARN FROM A BIRD," screamed the headlines. I was everyone's wet dream: a moral monster for the world./…

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APRIL 8, 2014 7:32AM

Weapons Of Mass Instruction

It began in the Crimea, a place of ancient wars. One of Putin's Pussies (Hint: If you want to be a real man don't let someone else do your thinking for you) raised his rifle in smirking superiority. However, when he tried to fire, the bullet went/…

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APRIL 7, 2014 1:12AM

My Job Eating Dog Food

Ever see a moneylender crucified? Enough said.

People are monsters. They think they aren't, but they are. They all think they're Jesus on a stick ready to lick. Even the people who say they hate Jesus believe that. I knew Jesus. Jesus was a close/…

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MARCH 20, 2014 4:31AM

The IHOP Incident

"All action takes place, so to speak, in a kind of twilight,
which like a fog or moonlight, often tends to make things
seem grotesque and larger than they really are."

It wasn't until we were in the IHOP parking lot/…

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He'd read about such men as a child. Outlaws on the run, living on the outskirts of society, their lives steadily withering away. Drip by drip their options dissipating until finally, they have no place left to go. In that moment they'd simply turn to the wall/…

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Mariko was known as one of the most stunningly beautiful women in Tokyo. Her smoldering eyes and winning smile charmed smitten hearts and inflamed hopeless desires. Many a soul panged how one night with her would change a life forever. Sharks and vultures, sycophants and adolescents, pinge/…

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MARCH 3, 2014 2:02AM

Jesus Commits Suicide

"You know, guys, they won't be calling this the Last Supper for nothing. Come tomorrow, I'm toast!"

"Say it ain't so, boss! Us guys will moider anyone who touches you!"

"It's no use, boys. I'm to be tortured and murdered in the most brutal way/…

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I got a hold of a documentary called "Waste Land" that was supposed to be good and socially relevant and blah, blah, blah. Vik Muniz grew up a very lower middle class child in Brazil only to work his way out to New York as a successful/…

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FEBRUARY 18, 2014 1:32AM

Piano In The Sky With Diamonds


Trees3 The sublimely serene Kimbell before construction started.

It's been four years in the making. When one is altering a masterpiece like Louis I. Kahn's Kimbell Art Museum in Fort Worth, one treads both lightly and heavily: lightly when touching the harmony of the existing building/…

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FEBRUARY 13, 2014 1:02AM

Revelation: A Samurai's Tale

My name is Mitsubishi Jiro*. I doubt anyone will ever find my name in many history books of this great warring era of the late 1500's. Though my family are famous merchants in the Settsu province along the trading seaport, I left them when I achieved manhood./…

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FEBRUARY 11, 2014 2:03AM

Eating Out (No More)

Don't come here expecting good news. There's never any good news. Sometimes in the yin and yang there may be an occasional uptick but the overall direction is still down. Life, is just shit. When fear strikes you and in sheer desperation you/…

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FEBRUARY 8, 2014 4:24AM

You Gotta Have Hope!

"Lucky" Louie isn't really lucky. In fact, he's unlucky by most measures. In other words, if you find someone called "Lucky" at a shelter, you can rest assured he was tagged with that moniker by some sarcastic asshole (*cough*). Lottery tickets are the fools' gold of the/…

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JANUARY 25, 2014 4:32AM

I Had To Do It

Warden, Polunsky Unit
Livingston, TX 77531

Dear sir, and to those of your ilk:

I'm writing in regard to your complicit treachery in the use of cruel and unusual punishment of permanent solitary confinement in your facility. Exactly whom are you protecting? Certainly not the public with these acts… Read full post »

JANUARY 23, 2014 11:15AM

Poverty Never Sleeps

"Let's admit it. At our age it really is all about the lifestyle at this point."

Her gorgeous bare foot dangled in the air in careless disregard, cocooned in a reality of her own mythmaking. Her two friends - one coiled cobra-like on the sofa, the/…

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JANUARY 22, 2014 1:09AM

There Came A Man Who Did Not Know

Nobody knew where the Stranger came from and nobody dared ask. Maybe we were afraid of the answer. Rumors naturally filled the gap. The most accepted explanation was he fell from the sky. Not that we really thought that's what happened. It's just that it so overwhelmingly/…

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JANUARY 18, 2014 5:44AM

Simon Says

Before he was Bond he was the Saint.

As a personal joke I call him Simon Templar, after the great Leslie Charteris figure monikered "The Saint". The Saint was a swashbuckler trapped in the twentieth century who, luckily for us, still found no shortage of/…

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Pan Ice 49
When I took that bleak pic above, it reminded of a WWI battlefield

I'm no WWI expert or buff. My knowledge of it is cursory. I never really understood its origins and my interest is minimal. But if I had to vote for the shittiest war of all/…

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Hello everyone, Jacob Jerusalem here to tell you all about the story catching like fire across the country. Some call it crazy and some call it as real as the sun. But I'm here to get to the bottom of it and bring you the truth! These/…

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Talk about your haves and have-nots!

Been quite a while since I watched 2007's "Elite Squad" set in the notorious slums of Rio De Janeiro. I was ambivalent when I put it in my queue but after watching the epic "City of God" set in/…

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JANUARY 9, 2014 12:17AM

"Why Did My Friends Die In Iraq?"

I don't usually post whole stories but this one really struck me. Yes, I'm still complainng about all our useless and destructive 21st century wars. I'm sure that's considered passe by now but I wonder: will that sentiment hold true when the final bill comes due? Precious few know how highRead full post »

JANUARY 6, 2014 2:32AM

The Gods Must Be A-Holes!

"Let's find us some humans to toy with and torture!"

"Did you find another one?"

"Yes! Yes! Dropped him right into the Maze!"

"Oh, goody! Let's go watch. It never gets old no matter how many souls we snatch."

Unseen and unknown,/…

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JANUARY 4, 2014 2:10AM

A Vampire Defanged

It had been five years since she and the family had moved to the Bay area. Like all the previous moves she fed off the change as a fresh distraction and energy boost. She would marvel on endlessly to anyone who would listen of the exciting new/…

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