I am unworthy to take such liberties with Ulysses but someone had to do it.

June 16, 1904, Dublin

Feeling a bit peckish? Tea and toast should hit the spot, for her, of course. For yourself, perhaps a bit of the inner organs of beasts and fowls? Maybe giblet soup, nutty gizzards, a stuffed roast heart, liver slices fried with crustcrumbs, fried hencod's roes? Ah, I know, a grilled mutton kidney. It will give your palate a fine tang of faintly scented urine.

 Set the kettle on the coals to boil. Get the toast ready, four pieces, she doesn’t like her plate full. Don’t forget to give that cat a saucer of milk. You know how vindictive they can be. Cruel. Her nature.

Maybe not the best day of the week for mutton. A pork kidney from Dlugacz? That’s it

 Better ask her if she wants anything else for breakfast before you go….

Keep your mind on your business. Don’t let the shiny links packed with forcemeat or the lukewarm breath of cooked spicy pig's blood distract you. For that matter, keep your eyes off the vigorous hips of the woman ahead of you. Pleasant though to see her moving hams first thing in the morning. Make hay while the sun shines.

Slide the moist tender gland wrapped in butcher’s paper into a sidepocket and hurry back home. The tea water will be boiling by now.

Hurry up with that tea. She’ll be parched. Don’t forget to scald the pot either! Use four full spoons of tea.

 

Prod a fork into the kidney and slap it over. Fit the teapot on the tray. Now get that tea and toast up to her. Everything on it? Bread and butter, four, sugar, spoon, her cream. Yes.

Mind that you don’t let the kidney burn!
Turn it over and let the scanty brown gravy trickle over it. Toss the bloody paper to the cat. Sop up the gravy with bits of toast. You’ve a long day ahead of you yet.

Metempsychosis indeed.

 Here's a link to a brilliant NYT piece about Bloomsday :NYT OP Ed piece

 Read Psychomama's great post about Bloomsday here! psychomama Read it right now!