When your stuff is stolen and you want some compensation for your loss, because that’s what you pay the insurance company for, it becomes your task, your problem, to prove that you actually had some stuff and that it mattered.

In presenting a claim it is the responsibility of the policy holder to prove ownership and value. 

Occasionally this is difficult.

Occasionally this is difficult.

When you have lost more than  just stuff what do you use as proof that you ever had such things? How could you be compensated for its loss? What was its value, really?

In descending order of importance we suggest the following:

The hierarchy of bullshit.

original receipts

The general lack of crime on my street bought me a false sense of security. I didn’t get a receipt for that.  Would the fact that I never fixed the tear in the screen door for over three years suffice as evidence of my false sense of security? Can I expect the false one to be replaced with a real one?

cancelled checks

Complacency didn’t take checks, I paid for it in years of isolation and sloth. I think I got enough out of that anyway. I won’t miss it.

photographs/video. Frequently, in taking photographs around the home the item will be shown in the background. 

Procrastination, like a vampire, doesn’t show up in photographs, and yet drains you of your vitality. How about the facts that I never backed up the files on my now ex-computer, or took those jars of quarters to the bank? Now that I think of it, they didn’t take my procrastination. They didn’t take my TV either. Can’t have one without the other.

We suggest you review your family album and supply copies. We will return the photographs at your request.

Well thanks for that suggestion but I don’t think any of them were involved. I mean, they were all involved, but not in any direct way. Perhaps photos of the indoor landfill in which I was raised would at least advocate for my being compensated for having survived. 

Original boxes

You mean like the one my self esteem was put in back when I was little and helpless? I think I lost it a long time ago. The box, I mean. My self esteem was hiding under the couch with the cats. It’s of no use to a thief anyway.

If the item was inherited, Probate records

Probate doesn’t account for inherited habits. Sadly, they didn’t take any of those either.

Affidavit from friends or acquaintances not related to you

How could they possibly be my friends if they were related to me? 

The thieves were the only people, other than me, to enter the house for the last year. I’m not well acquainted with them but I’ll bet they can vouch for what was taken.