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Introspection on Healing, Vegetarianism, and Life

Hayley Rose

Hayley Rose
HayleysComments.com, Connecticut, TheVeggieStand.com
December 31
I was born when Halley’s Comet last appeared overhead and named accordingly. Since then, I've become a writer, artist, and columnist. In addition to Open Salon, my work appears frequently in The Huffington Post, All Things Healing, Gender Across Borders: A Global Feminist Blog, and several other publications. I blog daily at my site HayleysComments.com I recently published my first book, "I Know Why They Call a Shell a Shell." The book is about domestic violence, a topic that I am very vocal about. It chronicles my journey away from tumultuous love affairs by weaving stories of her past with stories from literature, music, and visual art of both modern and classical significance. Find me on Twitter @HRoseStudios


JANUARY 18, 2013 2:39PM

Internet Courage

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Internet Courage  [in-ter-net  kur-ij]


1. (see liquid courage) Bravery leading to a form of brazen expression, often offensive, enacted over the world wide web

2. Typically much more intoxicating and ballsier than liquid courage

3. Shielded by a computer screen and readily accessible forms of anonymity, it leads (sometimes) sane people to do or say things they wouldn't typically do in real-life interactions

Example Sentences

If it wasn't for internet courage, he wouldn't have sent Jane those unsolicited picture-texts of his pecs.

Whether it's unsolicited pictures of penises or disgusting naughty little descriptions of what they'd like to do to you, over the internet many men experience super-human increases in gall. This is especially true of the online dating paradigm. Internet courage is much worse then its evil cousin liquid courage. It can be off-putting and offensive. It can make the already exhausted 20-something, 30-something, and especially 40-something-single who is looking for love even more exasperated. It can make their attempt at a virtual love connection seem more fruitless and futile than they were felt when they first decided to try the online dating thing.

Internet dating is supposedly the new norm, but with some of the people on there, you have to wonder: is it just for the rejects? I admit. I am on there too. When tiring of the bar scene, it seems like the only outlet for which one can turn to after being asked "Why are you single"by your married yet toothless cousin for the 17th time.

Internet dating can bring you a sense of comfort. Especially on a night when the judgmental glare from the cashier at the McDonald's drive-thru is really starting to get to you. You lie to yourself as you wait momentarily in your car all alone at 11:30 on a Friday night. These aren't  for me lady. You think to yourself as she hands you a warm paper bag containing five dollar menu double cheese burgers with extra mac-sauce. They are for my kids. You tell yourself, now feeling vindicated. Yes, not for me, for my kids. You say to yourself realizing you have an empty car. Yes... My kids that I left at home in order to drive out to McDonalds at almost midnight to get them some cheeseburgers. How irresponsible though, your conscience says. They are fine home alone. You argue now trying to justify your actions. They aren't old enough to walk, so I know they won't go too far, and I left the TV on for them. You cry as you drive, stuffing fistfulls of french fries into your mouth as tears stream down your cheeks. I'm not even a good imaginary parent!

Once again safely hermitted-up  in your lonely apartment, you check your email and run through the day's messages. Ooh. You perk up. Somebody sent you a message on OK Cupid. Quickly you one-handedly type in your password while still trying to feed yourself a burger with the free hand. You open your inbox and read:

"Hey, I'm new to this online thing and looking for some adventures. Interested in meeting up this week for some fun?"

"What did u have in mind," you counter unbeknownst to you that you're about to get hit by a deluge internet courage:

"I'm looking from anything from a long term sub/dom relationship to a fling. We're going to sit down and talk about what we like and what our limits are. But to sum it up I'm going to put you on your knees and make you service my big dick, and if you can't satisfy me I'm going to put you over my knee and spank you hard. Then when my hand gets tired I'll put your legs over my shoulders and pound you until you can't speak. Plus there are some handcuffs and whips in my closet if you're feeling adventurous."

Lost for words you shoot them a quick response before blocking them,

"I was thinking something more along the lines of bowling."

But before you can block them, they've already messaged you back,

"You can use my balls ;) "

The above banter was an actual conversation someone had over the internet with me this week.


The things I subject myself to for a good story! But really, this had to be one of the worst examples of internet courage I've ever experienced! Got an "internet courage" story that tops mine? Please share in the comments!


Anyways, more to come-in the meantime pick up a paperback copy of my first book "I Know Why They Call a Shell a Shell: Tales of Love Lost at Sea" is now on sale for $9.99 ! Get your copy today by following this link.


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I guess I was lucky- had two idiots that are still my friends and then hit a gold mine. But you are right.. lots of crap out there.
I think the bad ones are fascinating. Bowling sounds pretty tame to me. I love taking the internet and making it REAL. There is anything you want out there and you just have to be clear what it is you want and not judge people when they want something different. Just move on.
When I was young we were told there was someone out there for everyone. Oh good. What a relief. But they didnt say that the prince charmings were few and the jokers were many. When I cruise the internet ....and I still do at 66 yrs old....I go fishing. The little ones get put back in to mature. The ugly ones are usually the most interesting. Lots depends on what YOU look like - inside and out - yourself.
Loved this post. Thanks. More More
I haven't quite succumbed yet but since my marriage broke up a few years back, i haven't felt so desperate to get into anything serious. Internet dating sounds like it should work well in theory, but from the accounts I read you have to separate a hell of a lot of chaff to get to the wheat. Amusing account Hayley.
Well you could look at your potential beau's response another way: the direct approach works on the right woman. :) If you know what you want, say so. It saves time and disappointment. Life is short after all.

Personally I think internet dating is risky - it's too easy to mislead and be misled. I don't have a story for you but I love the term internet courage. But I love this even more: "I'm not even a good imaginary parent!" Great post.