Getting those Christmas lists ready? Here's a little something for the paranoid parent in your life:

The Little Buddy Child Tracker:

Keep tabs on your child at all times with this small but sophisticated device that combines GPS and cellular technology to provide you with real-time location updates. The small and lightweight Little Buddy transmitter fits easily into a backpack, lunchbox or other receptacle, making it easy for your child to carry so you can check his or her location at any time using a smartphone or computer. Customizable safety checks allow you to establish specific times and locations where your child is supposed to be — for example, in school — causing the device to alert you with a text message if your child leaves the designated area during that time. Additional real-time alerts let you know when the device's battery is running low so you can take steps to ensure your monitoring isn't interrupted.

Yours for just $99.99 from BestBuy.

Where to start? Well, how about here: if you stick a GPS tracker in your kid's backpack, you've just paid $100 to know where your kid's backpack is at all times. Or their lunchbox. Unless the "other receptacle" is their rectum, or you've somehow figured out how to staple the device to their forehead, you're not actually tracking your child's person.

And what happens if you kid wanders out of his or her "designated area"? Do you call the police? Drop what you're doing and race across town, only to learn that Junior traded backpacks with a classmate? What happens if the transmitter stays static for longer than it expect? Do you assume your child is lying dead in the schoolyard -- or that Princess left her kiddie lojack in her locker to go grab an unauthrorized latte with friends after school? The tracker gives you information without context, rendering it useless.

Devices like the "Little Buddy" play into the worst fears and darkest instincts of parents. This is essentially the same thing people attach to their dog's collar in case Fido jumps the fence. If a government agency were tracking your movements, you'd call it a violation of your civil rights; if a stranger or a pervert was doing it, you'd call it stalking. But a loving parent? No, you're just "monitoring" you child. You're just making sure they're safe. 

It's tempting to launch into a diatribe about how, when I was a kid growing up, we didn't wear helmets or have cell phones or routinely wear seat belts, and we spent most of out time outside, frolicking like free-range squirrels. That's partially true.

The flip side of the story is more important. The spring before I turned 10, two 12-year old girls in a neighboring town were raped and beaten by two teenage boys as they walked home through a wooded area. One girl died that day, and her friend survived with horrible injuries. Two years after that, my former sixth grade teacher was shot and killed by her husband. A year after that, I was hit by a car while crossing a busy street to my bus stop.

These things mark us. How could they not? I internalized my parents' fear of what happened to those poor girls in the woods that day. Nearly 30 years after the fact my classmates and I still mourn the passing of our teacher. I still freak out a bit when I have to cross a busy street. But I've come to understand that a big part of growing up is learning that we are fragile and we are mortal. My father once pointed out to me that if we stopped to think about all the bad things that could happen to us on any given day, we'd never get out of bed.    

In the spirit of full disclosure: no, I don't have children, and yes, if I did, maybe my perspective would be different. I don't think so. The loss of a child is awful even for us childless folk to contemplate, and it's natural to want to do everything you think you can do to prevent it. But since perfect safety is impossible, it makes more sense to teach our children to be aware of their surroundings and their limitations, say a prayer, and allow them to experience life in all its joys and all its tragedies.