My Heart Speaks Here
- April 02
- I'll tell you about my journey while I'm telling myself, rereading and saying aha! yes! and that is what it was like!
Words have magic feet. I like to see them dance.
The rest is to be kept quiet because it is sacred. How I watch people and love them never wondering if we'll agree. I love them because they are.
I believe in words but they aren't everything. I'll take harsh speech and good deeds over eloquence and little helpful action in the world.
There's shades of gray through everything which is one of many reasons I pray, "Thy Will not mine be done," trying not to cross my fingers but keep my eyes and heart open.
MY RECENT POSTS
- What's New & Where I've Been
September 17, 2013 03:32PM
- Could be...
August 19, 2013 08:10PM
- A Gift
July 23, 2013 05:46PM
July 18, 2013 07:52PM
- Vegan, Gluten-Free,
Almond-Butter Brownies- Recipe
June 30, 2013 09:44PM
MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “Being close and knowing
so well many of her struggles,
never thought of my
September 17, 2013 12:42AM
- “A few years ago I tried
to read Walden. I wasn't
post is calming.
August 19, 2013 08:39PM
- “Marty's Husband, Yes,
the silence among company. And
those books instead of
June 25, 2013 10:48PM
- “I felt this
June 14, 2013 04:39PM
- “You've put something
almost indescribable into
April 24, 2013 06:10PM
Fifteen years ago, about the time I was, as a single twenty-something woman, finding my authentic voice I wrote, “My name is Heidi Beth. My favorite color is purple and I like green too. I like to sing 'cause it stirs my soul… Read full post »
Could be the angels who sway a tree’s leaves,
reminding us we are together,
the ones we see and the hidden others.
The gift bearers, silent drifters,
anonymous assistance, miracle bringers,
inner stillness singers whispering peace,
the waiters for us to be qu… Read full post »
The grassy lawn, with her little uneven rises and tiny yellow wind-seeded flowers beneath my feet, reminds my calves of being at an age of not knowing much more than to look long at the small flowers growing everywhere over a wandering-way through an everyday place more beautiful than the sidewalk.… Read full post »
When you know your life is your movie
the swaying leaves in two tall trees
next to a mid-summer corn field keep time
with the beautiful music you chose
for this very reflection.
The sunlit scene framed outside
your window is perfect
and all the memories… Read full post »
I tried to make Almond-Butter brownies vegan once before, with sucanat as the sugar. It didn't work out. The sucanat granules were crunchy and the brownies didn't rise as I would have liked. So I gave up the idea. Until today. Just as I began making the standard… Read full post »
I had forgotten how it stays cold for days in Illinois, even when it’s warm. Invisible droplets hang on everything and when it finally rains, each air conditioned haven that is not home is an ice box. If we have two jackets for four people, David and I air dry and… Read full post »
Shortly after my mom passed away, both my husband and (I swear to it) my mom encouraged me to begin publishing my writing. As in, "Stop talking about it and just click Submit already!" So I did. The response has been wonderful! Below is one of the pieces in the For… Read full post »
I open myself to write and a space
spreads out around my being.
It is large enough to turn
my sighs into a whisper and my thoughts
into a gentle rain landing on everything,
no center, nothing to hold onto.
I don’t mind, yet the p… Read full post »
I always see her hands. They are slightly larger but otherwise just like the ones I am using to type this memory. She turns a page of her brown hardcover prayer book, preparing for her turn to pray. A cell phone is perched on one of our legs. We are at… Read full post »
a warm gratitude flows
through my body when I sing to myself
so softly in a crowd and begin to see
in the eyes of passersby
a beauty ever present
seldom loved without cause
loved just because we breathe
the same air
began in the same helpless
impressionable w… Read full post »
If I had ten quiet days alone,
would I open, wade into
all the waiting inner journeys
I haven’t made
room for in the doing
Or would I wander still
the confines of time,
practicing a two-step
with illusion, squandering /… Read full post »
I like to eat cookies, especially with my morning coffee. I sit alone outside our RV in the day’s first light, listen to the birds sing, stare off into my thoughts and eventually pick up my laptop and begin the new-age conversation that has become a near-necessity… Read full post »
Out here in the desert, land crunches beneath my feet. I hear it amplified in the vast space on every side. Once, not long ago, that hollow sound of walking on dry stone and sand would haunt me, remind me I am far away from my… Read full post »
We played catch in the only square of grass in the whole big campgrounds. Fortunately it is right next to our RV. Lucky us! “Play catch” was actually an item on our to-do list. My husband and I realized we'd been on a streak of… Read full post »
I'm angry (finally), unable to "let it be what it is." Tears stream down my cheeks. I'm pounding the steering wheel, grateful the grocery store is only a few blocks away. Damn it! I want my mom to tell me it was okay how everything played out even though I… Read full post »
Mid December we left central Illinois and went on a seven day trek across the country, landing in our Southwestern camping spot where we plan to spend at least a few weeks.
My younger son was truly sad to miss out on snow, but lucky for him we… Read full post »
I folded my hands, closed my eyes and whispered, “Mom, I know poetry isn't your thing, or at least the non-rhyming stuff I write, but if you're able, can you help me with a title?”
Less than a minute into the silence that followed, the words,… Read full post »
I remember her coming in the front door, a full bag of groceries in each arm. Not the plastic kind that hangs off your wrist and leaves a long red mark dent in your skin. No, they hadn’t been invented yet. She carried the big paper sacs, celery… Read full post »
I have held her after midnight while soft music rocks us back in time to the hiding places, the quiet spaces, the hours in contemplation and the cradle of no-mind as she creates word designs and curving colors formed into patterns, the… Read full post »
I came here to write. I said that's what I was going to do, for the first time in weeks. I would sit alone at the spot (a cafe, small wooden table, the shuffle of casual doing all around, passing by, speaking in soft voices) holding still for long enough… Read full post »
Laundromats and libraries, grocery shopping and sitting down to eat. Life carries on. Worry or intense presence with very little middle ground today. The happy holding place of gentle rightness has not landed.
Except when I held the door for the woman who carried a large basket of clothes, or… Read full post »
This cookbook, or more accurately "bakebook" as it is recipes of baked goods, has been mostly written for a couple years, in recipes I wrote down so that I and those helping me bake for the Farmer's Market could follow them and make a consistent product, but not in a form… Read full post »
I visited her grave yesterday, a brown rectangular mound, stoneless and new. She was in the damp, cooling wind and the sway of the old tree's leaves, the gathering dusk and blanket of clouds moving north above my head. Just as we parked, alone in the small cemetery, the rain… Read full post »