My Heart Speaks Here

One Realization, One Memory, One Story at a Time


April 02
I'll tell you about my journey while I'm telling myself, rereading and saying aha! yes! and that is what it was like! Words have magic feet. I like to see them dance. The rest is to be kept quiet because it is sacred. How I watch people and love them never wondering if we'll agree. I love them because they are. I believe in words but they aren't everything. I'll take harsh speech and good deeds over eloquence and little helpful action in the world. There's shades of gray through everything which is one of many reasons I pray, "Thy Will not mine be done," trying not to cross my fingers but keep my eyes and heart open.

Heidibeth's Links



Autumn is nearly here. Days are cool, nights are colder, and I’m finally making our house a home for the first time in a year. That’s how long we’ve been back at our old address, the one we thought we were going to put on the market last summer,Read full post »


Dear mom,

I was thinking back to gymnastics summer camp the other day. I remembered working out in the gym, the van ride to the beach afternoons, sand structure contests, making friendship bracelets, sunlight and shadows on the grass and sugar tummy aches, but I have only one memory… Read full post »


Growing up, I thought I’d have to order a Ginsu knife from the man on TV if I ever wanted to slice a tomato in half so perfectly I could put the halves together again and no one would know it wasn’t whole.

I was more inclined to prepare macaroni andRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 12, 2014 2:01AM

July (A to Z blog challenge day 10)


Afternoons are made of sand sculptures, 
swimming in the lake and the shivery moments  
when a cloud covers the sun 
above my wet, sandy body 
until the sun’s warm rays return.

I’m eight, nine, ten 
and not waiting for anything. 
Summer hot sticksRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 11, 2014 12:00AM

I ~ in verse (A to Z blog challenge day 9)


I have arms and legs, fingers and toes 
a mouth, two eyes and a sticking out nose

I like ice cream and cookies, laughter and kindness 
white roses in bloom and a world without violence

I listen to crickets, cicadas and frogs 
my own sweet kitties and neighboring dogs

For my chRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 9, 2014 11:58PM

Helpers (A to Z blog challenge day 8)


The buddy system, the one teachers use to keep kids from getting lost on field trips, is a good way to go through life. So long as you and your buddies are Helpers, that is. 

Life is as exciting, mysterious and full of opportunities for coolness as a great museumRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 8, 2014 11:17PM

Gratitude (A to Z blog challenge day 7)


An orchestra of cicada songs and crows’ caws accompany me past small houses on my bike ride down side streets in our small Midwest town. I pedal slowly and listen. 

I’ve found a cool, breezy spot in the shade for my writing time this afternoon. 

Though I hadn’tRead full post »



Family Time can take on many good shapes. For example, a mother and her two sons walk to the bus stop in the late afternoon, taking turns pulling their red shopping cart, mom sipping coffee—especially enjoyable on a cool sunny day. Once delivered near their destination, the… Read full post »
SEPTEMBER 5, 2014 7:20PM

Enough (A to Z blog challenge day 5)


At the end of the day

if my boys are happy, fed, clean, a bit more knowledgeable and still enjoying each other’s company, if I have been careful to not speak ill of any absent one, and I manage to pen a few creative words

if my evening includes a little… Read full post »



Ten ways my life is Different than 20 years ago

I’m responsible for the care, feeding and education of two other human beings 
I can see who’s calling before I answer the phone 
I spend very little time in front of a mirror
I know how to cook more than hotdogs aRead full post »


I don’t solve the boredom matter for my children, but if the right question is asked, I answer. It’s the storyteller in me.

“Mommy, how did you get your first cat?”

I stare at the upturned face on my lap, his long brown hair on my legs and the kitchen floor where… Read full post »


B 2 

Women in bikinis on beach towels 
tanned on the grass beside an alley fence 
I climbed and climbed tall trees
higher than anyone I knew 
I was home in those branches 
beside Sabrina’s third story apartment 
My dad and I, his thin, pale legs 
shooting… Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 1, 2014 9:32PM

Ages (A to Z blog challenge, day 1)


I’m six. Like almost every other day after school, I’m at the park across the street, sitting in the painted metal train by the swings. Boys line up in front of me, each waiting for a chance to finally beat me at arm wrestling. I know I will keep
Read full post »
JUNE 23, 2014 6:41PM

Finding Words Again

In the circle she stands,

arms at her sides,



A quiet lives between her

and everything else,

but only sometimes.


The silence is made of what her mom would have said, when she would have called her with anything new, a series of sentences one… Read full post »

DECEMBER 29, 2013 10:35PM

a necessary matter




what if mornings could be beautiful
again and again. 
let's return to stories 
in the early-day sun, busy boys building, 
and the told-tales of their imagination. 
snuggles and slowness, naps on the couch, 
music as company. 
we’ll wRead full post »
SEPTEMBER 17, 2013 3:33PM

What's New & Where I've Been



white rose


Fifteen years ago, about the time I was, as a single twenty-something woman, finding my authentic voice I wrote, “My name is Heidi Beth. My favorite color is purple and I like green too. I like to sing 'cause it stirs my soul… Read full post »

AUGUST 19, 2013 8:10PM

Could be...

Could be the angels who sway a tree’s leaves,  
reminding us we are together,  
the ones we see and the hidden others.  
The gift bearers, silent drifters,  
anonymous assistance, miracle bringers,  
inner stillness singers whispering peace,  
the waiters for us to be qu… Read full post »

JULY 23, 2013 5:59PM

A Gift

The grassy lawn, with her little uneven rises and tiny yellow wind-seeded flowers beneath my feet, reminds my calves of being at an age of not knowing much more than to look long at the small flowers growing everywhere over a wandering-way through an everyday place more beautiful than the sidewalk.… Read full post »

JULY 18, 2013 7:52PM


When you know your life is your movie  
the swaying leaves in two tall trees  
next to a mid-summer corn field keep time  
with the beautiful music you chose  
for this very reflection.  
The sunlit scene framed outside  
your window is perfect  
and all the memories… Read full post »

I tried to make Almond-Butter brownies vegan once before, with sucanat as the sugar. It didn't work out. The sucanat granules were crunchy and the brownies didn't rise as I would have liked. So I gave up the idea. Until today. Just as I began making the standard… Read full post »

JUNE 25, 2013 9:33PM


I had forgotten how it stays cold for days in Illinois, even when it’s warm. Invisible droplets hang on everything and when it finally rains, each air conditioned haven that is not home is an ice box. If we have two jackets for four people, David and I air dry and… Read full post »

JUNE 14, 2013 2:31PM

Here Now: Waking Up to My Life

Shortly after my mom passed away, both my husband and (I swear to it) my mom encouraged me to begin publishing my writing. As in, "Stop talking about it and just click Submit already!" So I did. The response has been wonderful! Below is one of the pieces in the ForRead full post »

JUNE 6, 2013 6:13PM




I open myself to write and a space  
spreads out around my being.  
It is large enough to turn  
my sighs into a whisper and my thoughts  
into a gentle rain landing on everything,  
no center, nothing to hold onto.  
I don’t mind, yet the p… Read full post »

MAY 4, 2013 6:46PM

Transported in Love

I always see her hands. They are slightly larger but otherwise just like the ones I am using to type this memory. She turns a page of her brown hardcover prayer book, preparing for her turn to pray. A cell phone is perched on one of our legs. We are at… Read full post »

APRIL 24, 2013 5:48PM

no better reason

a warm gratitude flows 
through my body when I sing to myself 
so softly in a crowd and begin to see 
in the eyes of passersby 
a beauty ever present 
seldom loved without cause
loved just because we breathe 
the same air 
began in the same helpless
impressionable w… Read full post »