On the Natch

Baby Boomer, Grrrrandma, Urban Goddess
MAY 2, 2009 8:21PM

Busted and Dumped!

Rate: 10 Flag

I thought I had been dumped!

I found out I'd been busted! Someone took the time and trouble to check me out on Open Salon and sent me a sternly worded email to the effect, "cease and desist." Oh, yeah, and something about thinking we had something special together, trust, being a private person, etc., etc. Yes, I can write what I want about my own life. But I have to agree that I crossed a line.

I removed the offending postings, and promised not to post any more about a certain someone.

Of course, I can still post about me (which is what I thought I was doing all along)!

But the worst part was, I had to discuss it with my sponsor, and see where I was wrong (and there was plenty to see), and send a certain person a proper apology, which as we know is one in which I don't justify myself or point out his wrongdoings. I have to ask him what I can do to make it right; and what he says, I have to do. I didn't have to take down the original posts at his request; I did it because an apology without a gesture is like saying you love your kid but never paying child support.

I will have two years sober in nine days, and sometimes working the steps sucks; but it doesn't suck as much as being a piss-your-pants, puke-encrusted, falling-down, cross-my-heart-and-hope-to-die drunk, competing with the cockroaches for floor space. So I work the steps.

And I slept pretty well last night, and this morning I'm pretty sure I cleaned up my side of the street.

Lesson learned.

And that's how that turned out!

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Comments

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Damn! I'd appreciate it if you didn't sugar coat it next time. Super congrates on the two years (in nine days). That is something to truly be proud of!
Yes, congrats for your sobriety but for the life of me can't imagine who you might have been talking about or why they might have been pissed off. Oh well.
Thanks, both of you, Michael and Ablonde, but if you can't figure it out, then I guess I did it right!

Thanks again!

Helen
ummmmmmm, I still think he didn't like it because he is....

oops. I better just cease and desist myself, too.
this is so cool. congrats on the 2 years!!!!! that's fabulous. and on working a good program and for taking down that post as part of it. were you using the person's name because if you were not, i don't get the whole cease and desist part. but i'm proud of you for doing what you did and coming clean. it's very much not easy to do without wanting to include what the other person did.

love ;love love and please PM me with any commnets. i don't read much anymore. i'll explain it privately, love.
Good for you. You are a brave woman and it takes great strength to do what you are doing. I still think maybe someone with thicker skin next time though... :)
Congrats on your sobriety.

I'm afraid that I think looking up someone online so you can make them take posts down is abusive. If you didn't use names, you didn't cross any lines.
What JK said. Fucking A!
Yikes! This is why I try not to write about the living in any identifiable way. Sorry this happened to you but happy for your sobriety. Keep up the good work.
Thanks, all; and to give him his due, he didn't insist I take them down, but I have learned enough to know that an amend has to put something right, it can't just be an apology (I have worn "sorry" out over the course of a long drinking career.) I took them down to make right what he perceived as personally painful and wrong. He isn't a bad person, and he did give me a great deal of pleasure for a short while.

But I appreciate all your comments, suggestions, support and advice! OS has some terrific people here!
I thought you were posting about you too...
Regardless of whether you were "in your rights" or not, you did the right thing for yourself, fulfilling the path you've determined to take one day at a time. You've inspired me today with your post, so you've even taken it a step further to help others. Thank you.
Irony abounds Helen. Yesterday I busted my wife and her lover and got dumped. Might be the last time for a good long while here. Thanks for reading. bob
jeeez, helen...and here i am, naming (first only) names...ahhhh, well. gotta listen to your intuition about these guys...next time, yeah?