Three trainings come to mind:

1) Four days of computer training on software I knew we would never use. There weren't enough computers to go around, so I sat in a chair between two people, unable to see either screen, and spent most of my time drifting off to sleep and jerking awake when I started to fall out of the chair.

2) A two hour on-line "diversity" course, in which we had to endure a little cartoon character uttering insipid remarks, and then take a multiple choice exam after each unit. Afterward, I said to a coworker of Hispanic origin that I was so pissed I felt like beating up a Mexican. He replied "I also feel like beating up a Mexican." Suffice it to say that the goal of the training was not achieved.

3) Three days of "empowerment" training. We all knew that we were not going to be empowered regardless of the course. On top of that the course was hideously boring and filled with repulsive "interpersonal" exercises. It was so boring that it seemed that boredom had assumed a physical form. We called it "the gelatinous cube of boredom, and we were all encased in it. One week after the "empowerment" course my supervisor upbraided me for suggesting an improvement to our contracting process. "It's not your job to criticize contracts," she said.

We get lots of mandatory trainings working for the Federal Gov't. I call them Propaganda training as they are merely brainwashing and mind control and juvenile and irresponsible. After the Ft. Hood massacre, instead of firing the idiots who kept promoting this crazy jihadist, they made all the rest of us watch a training on: stress on the job. And yes, I was eyeing the nearest window earnestly.

They weren't worried about the stress we might feel being shot at. They worried about the stress he must have felt to kill 13 innocent people while yelling Allah Akbar.

Not exactly a training--more of a company pep rally, held twice a year when I worked for an educational software company. Different departments would produce informational skits, interspersed with inspirational talks by the CEO, COO, CFO, etc., accompanied by PowerPoint presentations of 100% staged photographs of well-scrubbed, earnest children with bright shining faces. I hated those bright-shining-faces photographs with a passion.

The Myers-Briggs get-along-with-your-housemates training when I worked for the Christian Appalachian Project. I already worked full-time as an Americorps volunteer teaching preschool, then in the evening I had to go BACK to the preschool and sit in those little chairs and take the Myers-Briggs test and then listen to a lecture about how different personality types interact and how that could affect living with our housemates. Thing was, we'd all already been living together for nine months and we weren't super best buddies but we got along pretty well--our biggest interpersonal problem was working out the schedule for unloading the dishwasher and for doing laundry, and that we figured out pretty well on our own.

I scored as an INTP, which I already knew. INTPs make up about 1% of the total population, and of that 1%, only 25% of them are female. So I got asked if I had any "problems with my femininity" when I filled out the little worksheet thingie about what was nice and what was not so nice about being my particular personality type.

I wrote "Anyone who wants to question my femininity can suck my invisible cock" in the blank for that question.

Yeah, that didn't go over so well.

Thanks, guys! Personal notes have been sent, and I appreciate all of you for responding!

Have a great day, and keep passing the open windows.

helen

I have to agree with Mishima666: Anything where there aren't sufficient supplies for everyone. Any hands-on training that's not. The computer sharing thing is the worst.

I haven’t been around OS much due to busy schedule including a training conference the past two days. Your brief rant post hit home. I am a public school administrator and have endured so many bad training events that I don’t even know where to begin.

This event that I was sent to in place of my boss is being conducted by the NC Department of Public Instruction (our state education office). It is supposed to be about “Accountability” (euphemism for testing). The veteran state director (who loves himself more than Narcissus did) proudly announced to the 500 attendees at the opening session that we were running 20 minutes ahead of schedule and then he managed to mumble talk about all the great employees he has and started naming them and having them stand up ( I mean data operators who’ve been on the job for 3 effin weeks) and then he ran five mins over. Scintillating I say.

Today at the two hour luncheon (courtesy of NC taxpayers) the featured speaker had us all stand up at our tables (10 per) and face our partners and make them laugh. Her topic was laughter is good for your fitness. I left when everyone stood up.

I gotta go back tomorrow morning. I think maybe I’ll just jump out a window. Problem is, the conference is on the ground floor.

Now you got me started!

I have had to do the whole Steven Covey thing. The worst was a huge pep rally meeting with scanning camera coverage of the room displayed on a huge screen, so you'd better clap and then breaking down for team building with costumes and props, so f'n horrible! I finally got out of sales, just couldn't take that every couple months. Nice to see you Havlin~