Today I Baptized a Herd of Satanic Weasels

"Hello," she lied.

"Hello," she lied

Location: Atlanta, Georgia, USA
Birthday: March 01

Bio: Soylent Green is human resources

MY RECENT POSTS

Iraq Before and After (repost)
August 19, 2010 09:45PM
Vigil
November 19, 2009 11:24PM
Death and magic and Aqua Net.
October 27, 2009 03:41PM
Jon and Kate Plus Eight Runaway Tinfoil Kayaks
October 18, 2009 02:55PM
There is a bomb, or Gadhafi has invited us to brunch
September 23, 2009 01:10PM

MY RECENT COMMENTS

“Jesus wouldn't need to bomb anyone, silly. There are super volcanos for that. I h…”
May 26, 2012 02:48PM
“Scary-beautiful! Eclipses, like geysers, always make me wonder how it must have f…”
May 22, 2012 01:44AM
“Now please tell us how you'd solve a problem like Maria.”
May 09, 2012 05:57AM
“Daisy will be 5 years old next month. Time! Who knew?”
May 09, 2012 05:48AM
“"Nothing to fear. Be alive." Working on it, thank you.”
March 23, 2012 05:46PM

"Hello," she lied's Links

Not Limericks: Vigil; Infinite Girl; Dream for a Mad Scientist; Southern-Fried Haiku; The Allotment of Joy
Fiction: My Safe Words; Trying to Fall Back in Love With You; Erotica for Rabbits: a Quickie; Dick Cheney: Farewell to the Shadow Years
The Lost Limericks: Samuel Taylor Coleridge; Pauline Reage; Elizabeth Barrett Browning; Yann Martell; James Joyce; William Butler Yeats
Essays: Whatever became of Ahmad Chalabi?; Death, Magic and AquaNet; Gadhafi Vs. Latka Gravis; I Did Not Start Rumor of Sarah Palin's Torrid Affair; When I Played Pavarotti at Your Grave; Satanic Weasels Baptism; Your Lover's Parrot; A Dingo Is My Baby!; Oops. Apocalypse; Nude Buffet Etiquette; Congratulations Taste Like Rust; A Walker's Guide to the Gulf Stream; Squeaky President Bush's Head

« Back to Posts

JUNE 17, 2009 12:26PM

Rate: 28 Flag

Or did I bathe a small unwilling dog? I don't know - and I'm afraid.

Memory is tricky in the aftermath of what was clearly an awful struggle. The deepest of the claw-marks is roughly shaped like a goat's head. There are pools of water in the bathroom and hallway. Wildly flung droplets paint the walls with madness.

On the sofa, where once in a burst of optimism I concerned myself with the precise placement of linen pillows, there remains a trace of white foam from the very jaws of the Beast. Or it might be suds.

What happened here?

Why is there never any Bactine?

Author tags:

armageddon, doggie odor, dog shampoo, dogs

Your tags:

TIP:

Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!

Comments

Post a comment

Dayum, lady. Well made.

Dave Edgar

June 17, 2009 12:32 PM

Could have been worse. Could have been a cat. That's all I'm sayin'. Oh - and this - I feel your pain. Well described, and I like that someone, googling Armegeddon, might get this article!

Owl_Says_Who

June 17, 2009 12:48 PM

LMAO
and yes
rolling on the damned floor!!!

Rob BLOGojevich

June 17, 2009 12:54 PM

that is a BEAST! :) armageddon ~ LOL!

I love it!

1_Irritated_Mother

June 17, 2009 01:51 PM

The mark of the goat's head -- pray, sister. Pray.

Stim

June 17, 2009 02:08 PM

Hysterically funny. Satanic weasel -- I'll have to remember that next time I try to clean the cats' ears/eyes/clip their nails.

emma peel

June 17, 2009 02:44 PM

heh!

Nelle Engoron

June 17, 2009 02:45 PM

the beast looks content. ; )

Chuck A. Stetson

June 17, 2009 03:08 PM

This would be my dog any time he sees anything four legged in his midst. He even commits snake a cide. Yikes.

cartouche

June 17, 2009 03:53 PM

Very cool.

micalpeace

June 17, 2009 04:02 PM

You know what they say about the apocalypse being ushered in on the backs of Satanic weasels...oh wait, what?

Rated.

AshKW

June 17, 2009 04:13 PM

At least satanic weasels, freshly baptized, would become little angels. Dollars to donuts you still have a little hell raiser on your hands.

shaggylocks

June 17, 2009 04:19 PM

Well, it looks like a dog but maybe a herd of satanic weasels (as opposed to the un-satanic kind) resembles a small friendly dog. That would be satanic indeed.

Mick Arran

June 17, 2009 05:26 PM

giggle- oh, at least it wasn't 120 lbs of satanic weaseldom

hyblaean- Julie

June 17, 2009 05:30 PM

Bless you sister! That looks like a JRT - satanic for sure, but my what lovely eyelashes!!!

bluesurly

June 17, 2009 05:52 PM

It's the little beasties you have to watch out for.

RATED

littlewillie

June 17, 2009 10:54 PM

Too funny! Been there, never to return!

zashin

June 18, 2009 01:21 PM

looks harmless! ha...funny story.

Kimmy Sue Ruby Lou

June 18, 2009 01:43 PM

You're right to be afraid. It's simply demonic possession that certain dogs (and a large portion of cats) are displaying in grooming rituals. Why is it usually shown only at those times...they are under the impression that you are performing an exorcism.

SuznMaree

June 18, 2009 01:54 PM

Brief correction: While it's true that a group of weasels is a "herd," I believe that the correct term to describe a group of *satanic* weasels is a "covey."

Nada Zero

June 18, 2009 06:38 PM

Okay, I posted a comment, but it disappeared. Hmmm.

Daisy's power is far-reaching, apparently.

I would suggest getting those bandaids with antibiotic in them.

We use them every time we have to pill a cat.