Ever since I could remember, I  was ( and I still am) trying to please my parents. My mom especially. I tried very hard to always get an A. Anything less than that and I would surely hear it from my mom.

My mom was a public school teacher. Her family grew up poor and she was the first of the 7 brood to finish college. She was always telling me that when she got her first paycheck, all of it was given to my grandmother and the subsequent paychecks until she got married. She also expected the same of me.

The first job I landed was in a private school. I was hired as a teacher. I was being paid around $250 a month. It was good enough for me at the time. My mom expected me to help out with the daily expenses and even told me of how much she is supposed to get from me every month, which is half of my salary. I was ok with it but there came a time when I was short of cash. I asked my mom that I might not be able to give her what I was usually giving her and she was so furious she threatened to throw me out of the house. She refused to accept the money I gave her. I was only 21 at the time and was crying my eyes out. I did not understand why she refused to accept the money.

Because of heartbreak and the increasing fights between me and my mom, I moved out of the house and looked for a job in somewhere far from home. I was enjoying my independence but it was hard to live in Manila. The cost of living is super high and I barely make it monthly. I lost weight because I was trying to save money and food was among those I needed to cut back on. Also, I miss my friends back in the province.

After 4 years of staying in Manila, I decided to go back home. Luckily, I found a job with great benefits. Things between me and my mom were okay, until recently.

I do not know why but everytime I open my mouth, it's like I am always attacking her. She is lately almost always accusing me of verbally assaulting her. I would never do that on purpose. But she seems to think so. I recently had puppies and since I need to go to work, she is taking care of them on weekdays. On weekends, I am expected to stay at home to take care of them because she is tired. I am tired too, working 9 to 6 everyday, sometimes working overtime. After I had the puppies, I felt like I gave birth to a child.

This morning we had one of those fights again. But this time she also attacked the bf. Luckily, he wasn't there to hear it.

That was the last straw. It was one thing to attack me verbally, but it's another thing to attack someone innocent. I don't know what to do anymore.I vowed to keep my mouth shut from now on and have limited communication with her as possible.

But, I still love her. She's my mom still.