Another of my children goes rogue
This note was in a card sent by one of my sons. I laughed till my stomach hurt.
"So, Mom, I'm an adult now. I still have the sense I was born with, out there in the barn. I didn't jump off roofs when all my friends were. I know I got my fart-joke genes from Dad. See? I was listening!
You raised good kids. You really did. We all turned out human. All the years I was at home, I was convinced that if I didn't behave, Really Bad Things would happen. Long after I was out on my own, I realized that you never specified what those RBTs would be. You never threatened to make them happen. You never implied that I'd deserve them. They never materialized, but I always believed they could.
You made me believe.
It has not escaped my notice, Rev. Mama, that the definition of faith includes the conviction of things unseen.
So, I think it's time for you to share that last secret Fact of Life: How did you do it? How did you make us believe?
K says your secret weapon was the Mom Look. I concede that it's very powerful. You could quell riots by raising your eyebrows.
But it can't have been that. Barbara Bush has a look much worse than yours, and look how HER kids turned out.
C'mon, Ma. You can tell me.
Love,
J
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Comments
shaddup shaddup diana - ahem - thanks for the giggles, i sure hope my son will phone on sunday and do more than grunt. i KNOW he loves me ( how not! eh?) but it would be so nice to converse. shaddup shaddup diana - rated
SHADDUP!
HL, will the secret be revealed?
You don't look the least bit scary to me. Happy Mother's Day.
Happy Mother's Day, HL.
Monte
Trig, I don't think there is a secret, really. What I kept telling him was true: If you continue that behavior, the whole world is likely to wobble off its axis. You know what boys are like, even good boys ... having been one. A boy, I mean.
Ladyslipper, that's my daughter. When I put on that hat, I just look dumb. That spoof, during our Christmas gift exchange in 2008, drove her Republican grandparents around the bend. Those Palins don't know how to behave in public.
Monte, that comment function is the bane of my OS existence. I do have good kids. What I don't have are kids who send hearts-and-flowers Mother's Day cards rather than sly satire. Comparing one's mother to Barbara Bush is not quite on par with sending lots of chocolate.
Joan, apparently my eyebrows are holding back all the forces of evil, so Botox is not an option.
Thank you all for your comments.
But I think Barbara's kids turned out fine as well.
Happy Mother's Day!
Zinnia, thank you.
Deborah, fair enough. We tilt left here, but we mostly behave ourselves.
Sally, there are things you don't know. :)
Lisa, I haven't responded. He's overseas and communication is complicated. He Skypes when he gets the opportunity (and I never miss an opportunity to raise my eyebrows at him, just as a matter of principle), but it's almost impossible for us to get in touch with him.
rated.